The Student Room Group

Why do girls do this...???

The following has always happened with my female friends rather then my male friends.

I just don't understand it. I have a lot of my female friends from uni on things like MSN and bebo etc. The thing that I do not understand is that after a while they tend to in some (not all, but a majority of) cases become quite bitchy. Like here is a typical example, I would message them and they wont respond (despite their msn status being on online)...soo okkkk, I just think that they might be away from the keyboard, out , left MSN running or whatever. So after a couple of days - never on the same day I would message them again when they sign on saying "hey hows it going?". However,again.....They would not respond. They wouldn't even have the decency to respond back to my message in their own time. The same goes for e-mails, like recently, a girl I know e-mails me, I respond to her e-mail answering her questions and asking her questions, thus leaving room for a response. She doesn't e-mail back. :confused:

Normally if the above keeps on happening, I just end up deleting them from my MSN list seeing as tho they are prob a waste of time. But the really strange thing is, whenever I do see them again in real life, they all act so friendly "hey hows it going? had a good summer, what you get upto?" blahdy blah blah.. - again :confused:

I just end up thinking what on earth?

With my male mates it is different, they actually do make an effort, on the net and off the net. I have never experienced the above bull from them, and I don't understand why it happens.

Someone enlighten me. Thanks.

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You have crap female friends? I'm afraid I can't answer you - I get this from some of my female friends, and a lot of my male friends too.

Edit: although, having been in a single-sex school most of my life, most of my friends are male... and yet I probably get more of this crap off the girls. :confused: You make a good point. Unfortunately, I still don't know. :smile:
Reply 2
generalebriety
You have crap female friends? I'm afraid I can't answer you - I get this from some of my female friends, and a lot of my male friends too.

Edit: although, having been in a single-sex school most of my life, most of my friends are male... and yet I probably get more of this crap off the girls. :confused: You make a good point. Unfortunately, I still don't know. :smile:


It is really really annoying. Like there was this one girl I know, an exchange student, was really into me at uni, told her fancy her etc. - she goes back home. E-mails me, from out of the blue - saying keeping in touch etc...I replied, five weeks I hear nothing - I don't get it :confused: . Her mate however, hes a bloke, is still in contact with me till this day.
Reply 3
BTW thats another girl not same girl in OP
Anonymous
It is really really annoying. Like there was this one girl I know, an exchange student, was really into me at uni, told her fancy her etc. - she goes back home. E-mails me, from out of the blue - saying keeping in touch etc...I replied, five weeks I hear nothing - I don't get it :confused: . Her mate however, hes a bloke, is still in contact with me till this day.

I sympathise with that. I went on a German exchange myself with my school once... twice, in fact. I kept in closer contact with the guy who didn't have a computer who I barely got on with at all than the girl I had the year after who had a computer with full unlimited broadband access who I thought I'd got on with really well. *sniff*

Another one of my female friends decided she hated me one day for no reason and never spoke to me again... for about two months. Then suddenly she spoke to me again and now we're better friends than ever. And another one of them has just done it a week ago. :confused: Not many people text me because I'm more easily contactable on msn, through email etc... and I don't always have my phone with me (e.g. in school, where it could get nicked). But not one girl has texted me in about 2-3 years and I must have had 1000ish texts off boys.
Reply 5
generalebriety
I sympathise with that. I went on a German exchange myself with my school once... twice, in fact. I kept in closer contact with the guy who didn't have a computer who I barely got on with at all than the girl I had the year after who had a computer with full unlimited broadband access who I thought I'd got on with really well. *sniff*

Another one of my female friends decided she hated me one day for no reason and never spoke to me again... for about two months. Then suddenly she spoke to me again and now we're better friends than ever. And another one of them has just done it a week ago. :confused: Not many people text me because I'm more easily contactable on msn, through email etc... and I don't always have my phone with me (e.g. in school, where it could get nicked). But not one girl has texted me in about 2-3 years and I must have had 1000ish texts off boys.


That is strange...with the whole talking to you one min and not talking to you the other. Sorry to hear about the female exchange student, such a pitty.

I dont know why, but with some girls I know, I have to act a certain way, otherwise it can end up like discribed in the OP e.g. by showing very very little interest. I have found that in some cases the above has happened if I actually make an effort to talk to them (not talking about messaging every day here) but like once every few days. Even then I would have to keep my sentences ambigious so that they end up asking the questions.

This I find to be frustrating, because I like to be myself rather then play silly little games.
Sounds like they flat out don't like you. That's what I do to people I don't like.

If anyone reading this has tried to talk to me while i've been 'online' and i've not replied, I probably don't like you either.
Reply 7
DanGrover
Sounds like they flat out don't like you. That's what I do to people I don't like.

If anyone reading this has tried to talk to me while i've been 'online' and i've not replied, I probably don't like you either.


Thats what I thought too dude, hence the reason I just delete them from my contact list. Yet, there are two things I do not understand:

A) Like in a couple of examples of above, they e-mail me first, saying to keep in touch or whatever.

B)In real life when they see me they talk to me, say hello, ask me how I am. If you dont like someone - what on earth is the point? I just avoid people I do not like in real life and on the net if I thought they were complete plebs.

In my experience guys would just do that, block you and avoid you. Girls on the other hand....:confused: ?
mabye your MSN sucks. With mine a lot of the messages I send simply aren't recieved.
Anonymous
I have a lot of my female friends from uni on things like MSN and bebo etc. The thing that I do not understand is that after a while they tend to in some (not all, but a majority of) cases become quite bitchy. Like here is a typical example, I would message them and they wont respond (despite their msn status being on online)...soo okkkk, I just think that they might be away from the keyboard, out , left MSN running or whatever. So after a couple of days - never on the same day I would message them again when they sign on saying "hey hows it going?". However,again.....They would not respond. They wouldn't even have the decency to respond back to my message in their own time. The same goes for e-mails, like recently, a girl I know e-mails me, I respond to her e-mail answering her questions and asking her questions, thus leaving room for a response. She doesn't e-mail back. :confused:
Three things:

1 - Mutual interviews are not sexy, whereas conversing eloquently can be absolutely brilliant at dialling up the attraction. It's an artform on the wane; the ever-reducing competition being great for people like me!

2 - Treat online interactions as if they mean nothing. There's a multitude of distractions and you're never going to really get someone's attention with such a stock line as "hows it going". Think again, Joey Tribbiani. :wink:

3 - "bebo"? Bovvered.
..
(edited 12 years ago)
maybe they don't feel the need to talk to you online since they'll be seeing you in real life anyway? a lot of people are different to how they act on msn. on msn i'm really strange and loud but in real life i'm super shy. my friend has a mate who is completely outgoing, makes friends with everyone but when he's online he hardly responds.
maybe your convos on msn are boring..i ignore people who cant hold good convos on msn..nothing worse then strained conversations
Reply 13
bone-machine
maybe your convos on msn are boring..i ignore people who cant hold good convos on msn..nothing worse then strained conversations


Maybe, but it doesn't help that they are not giving me the chance to converse with them. Besides a good convo depends a lot on both sides of the party, if one side of the party is making all the effort then obviously the convo will be boring.
Reply 14
*Shrugs*
Women often can't make up their minds, and have variable moods; just one of those things. The sort of phenomenon/situation you described is all the more frustrating and upsetting, are you to be in a relationship of sorts, started online, with them, as I've discovered, much to my peril.

This animation makes light relief of such situations, and illustrates a former plight of mine, perfectly: She blocked me
Maybe they just left their computer running while doing something else? x
Reply 17
Simulatio
Maybe they just left their computer running while doing something else? x


Thats what I thought, but when it keeps happening it makes you wonder.

Besides, I thought women can multi-task :p:
'cos they are all gay. fact. lol
Reply 19
At this point, may I suggest that this whole post is making sweeping generalisations? I mean, I don't think I'm the type who stops conversing with people...

However, since it seems that I am in the minority, I could perhaps give a suggestions. Women tend to overanalyse- look into things too deeply and therefore can misunderstand somethings. Like if you email a girl and say something stupid, like "Luv" at the end of your email, she may read into it too deeply and therefore back off by not replying.

On the otherhand, maybe the women you've been conversing with are just not so cool on the 'cyberspace' front. I mean I've experienced the same with some guys I know, but then again, I know that when it comes to computers, they're not very good at it.