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    Okay so basically I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now, so still fairly new but I'm sure I love him and he loves me too.
    But there's a problem. He's booked to go on a lads holiday to Thailand for 3 weeks with his 2 single friends. At first I tried to make myself think I was okay with it and I trust him so it shouldn't be a problem. But the more I think about it and tell my friends about it I feel more and more uncomfortable to the point where now I feel like I definitely won't be able to sit back and wait for 3 weeks hoping he's not cheating on me I just don't want to have to break up with him because I hate the holiday he's going on. The reason I'm so worried about it is 1) my last bf of 3 years cheated on me and ****ed me up making me so paranoid about everything. He was the last person I ever though would cheat as well 2) Thailand is renowned as being the sex and party destination in Asia, and although I don't care about my boyfriend going out clubbing and drinking the fact that he'll be across the world, could get wasted and not even know what he's doing and he'll be in an environment where every body else there is there for the purpose of lettingn go, hooking up and going crazy( including his two friends) I just can't help but wonder what will he be doing when they both go off with girls? 3) he's going to get massages while he's there, who wouldn't they are amazing, but the thing is in Thailand the women will actually start trying to pleasure you during your massage without your permission even continuing when you ask them to stop just so they can charge you extra at the end.
    4) it's not just a week or a few days to get though.. It's actually a month. He's gone for the entire month apart from 4 days! I know I'll just be creaking out driving myself mad.

    So now I feel like my only option really is to break up with him before he goes. I really dotn want to though over such a silly thing. I love him but I also am not strong enough to be expected to wait around that long.

    I definitely don't want to make him choose between me and the holiday. That's why I'm considering choosing for him and breaking up with him.

    I understand this holiday is important to him and he's wanted to go for years for the Thai boxing and beaches. But I just wish that if it's so special to him he would want me to go and experience it with him. Obviously then there would be no issue I wouldn't have to worry and he would get to go to his dream location but he seems to only want to go with his guy friends.

    I just feel like it's so early in our relationship for him to want to go away on a lads holiday for so long, like if we'd been together a few years I would understand him needing space and time alone with his mates etc.

    I've told him how uncomfortable I feel and he knows how hard I find it to trust people after what my ex did but he just keeps saying don't worry, it's okay, I won't cheat, it's not worth it, Etc.

    Any advice or suggestions or comments or anything would be appreciated a lot!
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    sorry that's a tough situation to be in, you're just going to have to trust him, there's not really another option . being apart from each other for that long is going to be quite tough on your relationship too. do you know his friends? hopefully they'll ensure he behaves
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    You've been with him four months. You don't own him. If you can't trust him it won't work anyway so you might as well get it over with now.
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    If he really wants to be with you then he will not cheat while he is on holiday.
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    At the end of the day people can comment on and advise from what you've told us but only you know your guy and relationship. I wouldn't be too offended that he wants to go with his guy friends and not you, from the sounds of it he's been wanting to go on this kind of holiday for a while and it just wouldn't be the same if it wasn't with his guy friends.

    I have a good idea of how past relationship issues can mess with your current relationship, but it's not fair on the new person to let it affect them. It sounds like you have good communication with this guy and he understands where your coming from, as hard as it is and yes it's a lot easier said than done but you need to trust him. He isn't your ex but you're never going to give him the chance to prove that to you unless he's in a situation where he resists temptation and proves he's loyal to you. Give yourself some more credit if he wanted to go off and and have relations whilst over there he wouldn't be with you, you clearly mean a lot to him. I know your worried he'll get drunk and the atmosphere etc but if he's loyal that won't just disappear once he's had a few also my friend's boyfriend went on a lads holiday with four other single lads and just acted as a wingman. It can work.

    My personal advice would be to let him go and trust him. I don't think we realise how strong we are until we are in that position. Imagine for a moment the best scenario (and hopefully the most likely) that he goes away and comes back having been completely faithful and imagine how much stronger your relationship will be for it.

    Like I said though, only you know yourself and your boyfriend and it's what you're prepared to go through. I hope everything works out for you


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    Yeah I know his friends they're all really nice. But it's not really they're job to control what he does. So not sure if that really helps or not? :/
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    So what you are saying is you don't trust your boyfriend? Just leave him then
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    (Original post by Laura Duggan)
    At the end of the day people can comment on and advise from what you've told us but only you know your guy and relationship. I wouldn't be too offended that he wants to go with his guy friends and not you, from the sounds of it he's been wanting to go on this kind of holiday for a while and it just wouldn't be the same if it wasn't with his guy friends.

    I have a good idea of how past relationship issues can mess with your current relationship, but it's not fair on the new person to let it affect them. It sounds like you have good communication with this guy and he understands where your coming from, as hard as it is and yes it's a lot easier said than done but you need to trust him. He isn't your ex but you're never going to give him the chance to prove that to you unless he's in a situation where he resists temptation and proves he's loyal to you. Give yourself some more credit if he wanted to go off and and have relations whilst over there he wouldn't be with you, you clearly mean a lot to him. I know your worried he'll get drunk and the atmosphere etc but if he's loyal that won't just disappear once he's had a few also my friend's boyfriend went on a lads holiday with four other single lads and just acted as a wingman. It can work.

    My personal advice would be to let him go and trust him. I don't think we realise how strong we are until we are in that position. Imagine for a moment the best scenario (and hopefully the most likely) that he goes away and comes back having been completely faithful and imagine how much stronger your relationship will be for it.

    Like I said though, only you know yourself and your boyfriend and it's what you're prepared to go through. I hope everything works out for you


    Posted from TSR Mobile

    Thank you, that actually made me feel a lot better! I think you might be right about that, I shouldn't be so hard on him because of what someone else did, it isn't fair
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, that actually made me feel a lot better! I think you might be right about that, I shouldn't be so hard on him because of what someone else did, it isn't fair
    I'm glad I could help! Just make sure you have some good friends around you who understand and support you like I said easier said then done but if you can do it, it should be really rewarding


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    (Original post by Laura Duggan)
    I'm glad I could help! Just make sure you have some good friends around you who understand and support you like I said easier said then done but if you can do it, it should be really rewarding



    Posted from TSR Mobile

    Yeah everything you said is just so true! And it really is a good idea to trust him and hope for the best. I can't live my life cutting people off in fear of what might happen because of one silly guy. I just hope time goes by quick that month!
 
 
 
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