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My Mother

33.33.33

2

I am so incredibly angry :mad:

ok, so i don't get on too well with my mum at the moment, i think it's probably because i'm hopping off to uni soon and i'm the only child around so it's not nice for her. she also takes medication which makes her slightly loopy. there have been a number of incidents where i have really doubted her sanity, including one occasion where she threw books at me, told me she hated me and that she didn't want to see me ever again :confused:

now, if i was a horrible child, i would understand this behaviour (sort of). the thing is, i'm not, i'm hard working, i do almost everything she or my dad ask of me, i have a job, i pay my way and i always show respect. i'm not saying i'm perfect, but she could have it much worse.

today i was just doing my washing, because it makes it easier and gives her and my dad less to do if i sort it out myself. i'd sorted it into piles ready to put to dry after it had come out of the washing machine (so that it's easier to scoop off the line afterwards!) and was taking some of it outside. my mum was also in the garden and asked if i needed a hand putting it up ( a nice offer, almost unusual for her), i declined but said thanks anyway, because i knew what i wanted to dry where etc. i started putting up but she carried on helping me anyway, so i said "mum thanks, but really i want to do it my way, it's fine honestly" or something like that... she repeated this several times but then eventually sat down and left me to it.

she then got rather angry at me for wanting to dry a hoody on a chair (metal, it couldn't possibly have "damaged" the chair) because it was "stupid" to do something like that, despite there being no room left on the line. she persisted with this point, and told me that she was going to put my clothes in the mud and dirt if i didn't put the washing out how she does. i told her that was ridiculous and to just leave me be. she then actually started doing it so i became quite angry given that i'd just washed everything and had to physically stop her from making my stuff dirty. also, i think this is rather pathetic behaviour for a 50 year old woman. it's something you expect a child to do. i got quite upset that my mum could do such things to me, as it's not the first time she's behaved in this way.

our garden joins to others and you can quite clearly hear other people talking in any of the gardens, so my mum deliberately shouts at me "you're weird, what's wrong with you, you've got some kind of psychosis". now that, in my opinion is quite outrageous. maybe i'm being pathetic, but she hardly treats me with the respect she expects. i'm 18, i'm not a child.

she is also always moaning that i'm never at home, but can you blame me when she does things like this? the list doesn't stop here either, she's always looking for arguments and making horrid comments, my dad agrees with me but unfortunately has to at least partially side with my mother during arguments, otherwise world war 3 would occur. it's getting to the stage that when i go out, i hide my laptop, mp3 player etc. because i know she would have no reservations about just taking my things that i've paid for or even breaking them.

what i would like to know, is if i actually am doing something wrong here..
if anyone else has a mother or father like this..
and if anyone can tell me how to respond to her when she behaves in such a childish way?

phewwww sorry, long post but i needed to let off steam :redface:

i feel better already! thanks :smile:

Reply 1

Talya

16

AND you got an offer from Oxford!

IMHO You sound like a pretty great kid and I'm really sorry you had to put up with this!

Can you talk to your dad about it?

Reply 2

33.33.33

OP

2

i try to talk to my dad about it, but it's really hard because my mum is about a lot of the time and i think he feels bad saying bad things about her. he knows there is an issue but it's also difficult for him to accept it. he puts up with a lot of crap from my mum too, and i worry how he'll cope when i move out because i always stick up for him. i get on so well with my dad, i really love him to bits but sometimes i feel like i don't love my mum. even typing that makes me feel so guilty and almost forces me into thinking that i must love her, but i suppose the harsh reality is that when she behaves in such a way, i don't.

as for the oxford thing, don't even get started on my mum and oxford. i declined the offer and she didn't speak to me for a week and still tells relatives that i'm going there! i think she only wanted me to go so that she could gloat(sp?) :p:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

TAYLAS right i feel sorry for you but just think you won't bearound for much longer. MY mum goes looking for fights as well but it seems your mum can't control herself. The trick is to make her feel guilty afterwards by not loseing it yourself. Make as little responses you can and don't look at her. It might shut her up but it wil make her more angry at first. Have u trird recording her and then showing her what she does when shes in a good state it might open her eyes.

Reply 4

Talya

16

(Why Didn't you go!?)

Anyway, just try and avoid her? You haven't got long to go. Doesn't she work? If so, put your washing up in the morning and take it down before she returns.

Or find alternative drying place.

Reply 5

33.33.33

OP

2

lol well it's not really the washing that's an issue. it's actually ANYTHING... slightly ridiculous i know. she does work but i'm usually home from my job when she is and she moans if i haven't hoovered or whatever when i've been doing 8-10 hour shifts... it really annoys me! particularly as my working day starts at half six! (AM!)

i try the ignore method, but she's now flapping about the house saying psychosis every four minutes, as if it was word of the day and she was getting 20p every time she said it :p:

i've considered recording her though that would send her into abosolute orbit.. so maybe i'll just locate the record button on my phone and hope that i can get good sound from my pocket heh.

(i didn't go because it wasn't the right place for me, i didn't like it very much.. and i am absolutely in love with bristol uni :biggrin:

) as for finding another drying place, in the summer if i don't put my washing outside you can well expect the rxbeef household to turn into a crime scene.

Reply 6

NViasko

Don't be angry.

Reply 7

33.33.33

OP

2

NViasko

Don't be angry.

thank you, i'm not sure how i would have coped without your contribution to the thread :confused:

Reply 8

Ron Stoppable

14

rxbeef

i try the ignore method, but she's now flapping about the house saying psychosis every four minutes, as if it was word of the day and she was getting 20p every time she said it :p:

Point your vibrating wand at her and yell "Expecto Patronum!"

Mugglenet: "Conjures a Patronus - some sort of spirit-animal which becomes more solid with the ability of the spell-caster. The Patronus defends the caster from Dementors and possibly other things."

Reply 9

33.33.33

OP

2

Ron Stoppable

Point your vibrating wand at her and yell "Expecto Patronum!"

wow, it really works! :redface:

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Hi,

My mom is EXACTLY like yours. Including the psychotic fits, including the being disappointed with me whatever I do. Ok, I don't have a job and she really wants me to have one, but I am studying and doing reallly great at school.

I am sorry,honey, I know how you feel. Just think: university is only a little way away and after uni you can start your own family and your mom will get over her little menopausal psychosis.

Kisses

Reply 11

Talya

16

My mum's OK. Would you like me to clone her for you?

She's very good at giving lifts and making what you want for tea.

Reply 12

33.33.33

OP

2

Talya

My mum's OK. Would you like me to clone her for you?

She's very good at giving lifts and making what you want for tea.

long gone are the days of lifts or having food cooked for me. i cook my own food, and just a little point to be made here... if she does cook for me she insists that i can eat dairy (i can't, i have ibs, it gives me problems) and that doctors are wrong. also refuses to accept the fact that i've been a vegetarian for years and tries to get me to eat meat. how normal :smile:

Reply 13

NViasko

rxbeef

thank you, i'm not sure how i would have coped without your contribution to the thread :confused:

I don't know how you would have either.

Reply 14

33.33.33

OP

2

NViasko

I don't know how you would have either.

which is why i am thanking you :smile:

Reply 15

NViasko

rxbeef

which is why i am thanking you :smile:

Thank you.

Reply 16

33.33.33

OP

2

np.

Reply 17

Talya

16

Stop... stop, the insincerity is killing me!

Reply 18

NViasko

Welcome.

Reply 19

Bubblebee

15

rxbeef

long gone are the days of lifts or having food cooked for me. i cook my own food, and just a little point to be made here... if she does cook for me she insists that i can eat dairy (i can't, i have ibs, it gives me problems) and that doctors are wrong. also refuses to accept the fact that i've been a vegetarian for years and tries to get me to eat meat. how normal :smile:

Well same about the dairy, I'm intolorant and my mother still can't grasp that fact!
And according to my boyfriend I'm not vegetarian I'm simply fussy! How nice!

My Mother

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