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Is this cheating? Does it make me a s.lut? watch

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    I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, and things are going well.

    Recently he went to Spain to visit his family for a few months, but we've kept in contact via Skype.

    I thought I would never cheat in a relationship but I've been talking to this guy on my course recently, who I really want to sleep with. I did go on a few dates with him previously, but I went away so it didn't work out.

    I've been talking to him while at uni, pretty sexual things, like joking about watching porn, being horny and flirting pretty outrageously...I want to sleep with him so bad, and I know he wants to as well, but I have a boyfriend.

    Is this cheating (talking sexual with this guy)?

    I know my current relationship has a time limit, latest September when we both go back home to different cities, so it won't be forever, but we are all on the same course and it would get very awkward if I slept with them both...

    The thing is, I told my boyfriend that we'd been talking about sex and he said he doesn't mind, as we're friends and that whatever happen's we can sort it out. So I'm thinking It may be okay...

    What should I do? If I do sleep with him, everyone will think I'm a slut...
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    Well, firstly: If you boyfriend doesn't mind you talking dirty to another guy then he clearly isn't that interested.
    Secondly: If you want to sleep with another guy then you shouldn't be with your boyfriend.
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    dump your boyfriend instead of leading him on
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    no... in no possible way is that ok
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    Whether you're in a long distant relationship or not, it's cheating. You clearly shouldn't be in a relationship with your current partner if you're thinking about having sex with someone else.
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    You're already behaving badly at this point. Call it off, go for gold.
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    (Original post by Free.Help)
    I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, and things are going well.

    Recently he went to Spain to visit his family for a few months, but we've kept in contact via Skype.

    I thought I would never cheat in a relationship but I've been talking to this guy on my course recently, who I really want to sleep with. I did go on a few dates with him previously, but I went away so it didn't work out.

    I've been talking to him while at uni, pretty sexual things, like joking about watching porn, being horny and flirting pretty outrageously...I want to sleep with him so bad, and I know he wants to as well, but I have a boyfriend.

    Is this cheating (talking sexual with this guy)?

    I know my current relationship has a time limit, latest September when we both go back home to different cities, so it won't be forever, but we are all on the same course and it would get very awkward if I slept with them both...

    The thing is, I told my boyfriend that we'd been talking about sex and he said he doesn't mind, as we're friends and that whatever happen's we can sort it out. So I'm thinking It may be okay...

    What should I do? If I do sleep with him, everyone will think I'm a slut...
    Do your boyfriend a favour and leave him
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    In my opinion, you are not a cheat at this stage,
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    Ok well thanks for your opinion. However, if this was the other way around, would you still call a guy a slut? It's really annoying how men in their 20s can sleep around, and it's okay but if a girl does it she's a 'slut'. And like I said, I'm not lying as I told my boyfriend everything, but I'm still a slut because I enjoy casual sex? Why is that wrong?

    At the end of the day, we are in our early 20s, and our relationship is going to end by September anyway.

    I realise I asked for your opinions so fair enough, I'm just saying in this day and age, slut shaming is wrong. Call me a bad person if you think I'm a cheater (which I technically told my other half about, so i'm not lying) but not a slut.
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    (Original post by Blazinq)
    dump your boyfriend instead of leading him on
    I concur
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    No, you're not a cheat or a slut. It just means you like to have verbal fun. So long as you don't act on those verbal fun times, it's all good.
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    (Original post by Free.Help)
    I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, and things are going well.

    Recently he went to Spain to visit his family for a few months, but we've kept in contact via Skype.

    I thought I would never cheat in a relationship but I've been talking to this guy on my course recently, who I really want to sleep with. I did go on a few dates with him previously, but I went away so it didn't work out.

    I've been talking to him while at uni, pretty sexual things, like joking about watching porn, being horny and flirting pretty outrageously...I want to sleep with him so bad, and I know he wants to as well, but I have a boyfriend.

    Is this cheating (talking sexual with this guy)?

    I know my current relationship has a time limit, latest September when we both go back home to different cities, so it won't be forever, but we are all on the same course and it would get very awkward if I slept with them both...

    The thing is, I told my boyfriend that we'd been talking about sex and he said he doesn't mind, as we're friends and that whatever happen's we can sort it out. So I'm thinking It may be okay...

    What should I do? If I do sleep with him, everyone will think I'm a slut...
    I don't even see why be in a relationship this bad if thats how you are with other guys.
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    Yeah that's not okay. If you want to sleep with other people then dump your poor boyfriend.
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    (Original post by Free.Help)
    Ok well thanks for your opinion. However, if this was the other way around, would you still call a guy a slut? It's really annoying how men in their 20s can sleep around, and it's okay but if a girl does it she's a 'slut'. And like I said, I'm not lying as I told my boyfriend everything, but I'm still a slut because I enjoy casual sex? Why is that wrong?

    At the end of the day, we are in our early 20s, and our relationship is going to end by September anyway.

    I realise I asked for your opinions so fair enough, I'm just saying in this day and age, slut shaming is wrong. Call me a bad person if you think I'm a cheater (which I technically told my other half about, so i'm not lying) but not a slut.
    But you're thinking of having sex with another guy while you are in a relationship.
    You can use the 'slut shaming' argument all you want, but what you are doing is still wrong.
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    Thanks for all the replies..

    And as most people realise, men in their 20s usually cheat anyway. He even told me all men cheat, and I would rather him say that then tell me I'd never cheat in my life, and know it is a lie. We are both very honest, so if he were to do something, I know he'd tell me.

    And I'm a slut because I'm a "cheat", or because I want to have sex? If it's because of cheating, then I would never go behind his back and lie, I would be honest and tell him and I know we would still be friends as our relationship isn't long term, and he knows we are both young.
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    if you don't see a future in this relationship then end it and sleep with this other guy?!
    it's not right to call anyone a slut.. but cheating is not right so do whatever you need to do but don't hurt someone

    also not all men cheat, that's really not true !!
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    (Original post by Free.Help)
    Thanks for all the replies..

    And as most people realise, men in their 20s usually cheat anyway. He even told me all men cheat, and I would rather him say that then tell me I'd never cheat in my life, and know it is a lie. We are both very honest, so if he were to do something, I know he'd tell me.

    And I'm a slut because I'm a "cheat", or because I want to have sex? If it's because of cheating, then I would never go behind his back and lie, I would be honest and tell him and I know we would still be friends as our relationship isn't long term, and he knows we are both young.
    The girls usually call the guys out for this blooper, but I have to say, that is quite a grim generalisation that paints every single guy in a bad light. You can't justify the fact that you are bordering on emotional cheating (should you go any further whilst still in a long distance relationship) by thinking in that way.

    Being young also isn't really a good excuse to justify bad behaviour & purposeful mistake making either. Call it off and let him be, if you've had a change of heart and wanna experiment.
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    (Original post by atinaaa)
    But you're thinking of having sex with another guy while you are in a relationship.
    You can use the 'slut shaming' argument all you want, but what you are doing is still wrong.
    Ok but when we first got together my boyfriend told me not to expect anything, as we will break up in September and that I shouldn't trust him, and that he'd rather be honest and just see how things go, rather then saying neither or us will go out with anyone else etc. I thought It was good as most people just say they will never cheat and so on, and everyone knows most people our age do.

    And I was happy with this, as I agree most people cheat and I would rather us be honest, and If we want'd to sleep with someone else we could discuss it and potentially break up, but remain good friends.

    And like I said, if I told my boyfriend and he said it was fine, I was just talking, then why is it wrong? I'm not lying? And If I were to sleep with this guy, I would tell my boyfriend before hand and we would either discuss it or just be friends.

    Does this make me a slut?
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    (Original post by Capn cas)
    The girls usually call the guys out for this blooper, but I have to say, that is quite a grim generalisation that paints every single guy in a bad light. You can't justify the fact that you are bordering on emotional cheating (should you go any further whilst still in a long distance relationship) by thinking in that way.

    Being young also isn't really a good excuse to justify bad behaviour & purposeful mistake making either. Call it off and let him be, if you've had a change of heart and wanna experiment.
    Yeah, it is a generalisation. Although I felt guilty about it, I made sure I told my boyfriend but he was fine with it as we never actually touched. But I can understand why people see it as emotional cheating.

    And yes, if I do really want to sleep with the other guy, I will let my current boyfriend know, I won't actually lie about it.
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    Welcome Squad
    No one on here has seriously called you a slut, I don't know why you're bringing up slut shaming. They've said you're a cheat or a bad person, which could well be true. But if you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen - if you don't want opinions, don't ask.

    Not all guys in their twenties cheat, you're just trying to find some justification for wanting to **** this other guy. Which is fine, but you shouldn't attempt a monogamous relationship if you're just going to go and sow your wild oats all over your course.

    Stop whining and trying to be the victim, it's sad.
 
 
 
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