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Motivationan Letter, please check it for mistakes watch

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    Can anybody check my Motivation letter please? Im applying for erasmus mundus program this year

    I am XXX motivated student in MA.
    I have a strong will to study and to get new knowledge. I am purposeful, and always do my best to gain my goals. If I began to do something, I never give up, i go forward till the end. And it doesn't matter how much is it difficult or hard to gain stated goal.
    When I was 15 years old, I passed special examinations and I graduated high school. Right after, I got a full scholarship for BA in Business Administration at XXX University. During the studying I had internship at Design company in HR department. I learned how to properly organize workers to use labor force effectively with the best utility. Also, that experience showed me different ways how to motivate and stimulate workers.
    I wrote my final thesis on the base of my internship experience at Medical-Computer Center Aden where I practiced in Department of Marketing. I developed the project of effective marketing policy to prove the service providing system and to attract more customers.
    The experience in foreign country would be valuable for both my studies and personal development.
    After completing the studies at Russian-Tajik Slavonic University I got a scholarship for BA in Korea. I had a double major there. I studied Political Science and Diplomacy as my main major and International trade as my second major. I have studied and lived in Korea for 5 years, so I not only studied my university stuff, but also learnt about korean history, culture, economics, traditions. Because its very important to understand and to adjust to country where you live. Furthermore, my korean life, korean people and my masters taught me how to be success, how to organize yourself and so on. So, now i want to go to EUROPE and learn about it, learn about its culture, history like i have already learnt about korea. I want to compare Europe and Korea, west and East, the western and the eastern educational system, because i deem it will be helpful to my future job when I will work in international company or with foreign partners. I was always interested in multicultural society.
    Until now i have worked in Construction and Consulting Company in department of planning. I have worked there almost a one year and during that period of time I explored how korean companies are organized, how korean labor system works and, of course, I learnt some tricks of planning.
    I'm planning to study as much as possible to become a high qualified specialist. I believe that bachelor degree is just a base when the master degree is not just theoretical knowledge but also practical experience.
    I would honor the opportunity if you accept me for the Erasmus programme, because it will mean a lot for me and my future career prospective. If i will be accepted, first of all, i will do my best to improve my English skills because its very necessary to speak fluency in language of country you live or study. So, I will get a chance to communicate with students in similar circumstances. When i came to korea first, i didn't know korean at all, so I couldn't even communicate with Korean people. So, every day spent hours to study korean and after 9 months i successfully passed the 4th level of Test of Proficiency in Korean. And I took classes in both Korean and English languages in XXX University.
    I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to participate in the Erasmus programme at your University, which would mark my future professional and personal development. The experience that I could gain by studying in foreign country would be valuable for both my studies and personal development.
    Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

    Yours faithfully,
    XXX
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    (Original post by Smile7)
    Can anybody check my Motivation letter please? Im applying for erasmus mundus program this year

    I am XXX motivated student in MA.
    I have a strong will to study and to acquire new knowledge. I am purposeful, and always do my best to attain my goals. If I begin to do something, I never give up, I go forward till the end, no matter what difficulties lie between me and my goal.
    When I was 15 years old, I passed special examinations and I graduated from high school. Right after, I got a full scholarship for BA in Business Administration at XXX University. During the studying I had an internship at a Design company in their HR department. I learned how to properly organize workers and how best to apply the skills of the labor force. Also, that experience showed me different ways how to motivate and stimulate workers.
    I wrote my final thesis on the basis of my internship experience at the Medical-Computer Center in Aden where I worked in the Department of Marketing. I developed the project of effective marketing policy to improve the service providing system and to attract more customers.
    This overseas experience would be valuable for both my studies and personal development.
    After completing my studies at the Russian-Tajik Slavonic University I secured a scholarship for a BA in Korea. I had a double major there. I studied Political Science and Diplomacy as my main major and International trade as my second major. I have studied and lived in Korea for 5 years, so I not only studied my university material, but also learnt about Korean history, culture, economics, and traditions. Because it's very important to understand and to adjust to the country where you live. Furthermore, my Korean life, Korean people and my masters taught me how to be successful, how to organize yourself and so on. So, now I want to go to Europe and learn about it, learn about its culture and history, as I have already learnt about Korea's. I want to compare Europe and Korea, West and East, the western and the eastern educational system, because I deem it helpful to my future career when I will work in an international company or with foreign partners. I have always been interested in multicultural society.
    Until now I have worked in a Construction and Consulting Company in their department of planning. I have worked there almost a whole year and during that period of time I have explored how Korean companies are organized, how the Korean labor system works and, of course, I acquiredmany insights into the planning process.
    I'm planning to study as much as possible to become a high qualified specialist. I believe that a bachelor degree is just a base, and that a master's degree is not just theoretical knowledge but also involves practical experience.
    I would honor the opportunity if you accept me for the Erasmus programme, because it will mean a lot for me and my future career prospects. Were I to be accepted, first of all, I would do my best to improve my English skills because it is very necessary to acquire fluency in the language of the country in which you live or study. So, I will get a chance to communicate with students in similar circumstances. When I first arrived in Korea, I didn't know Korean at all, so I couldn't communicate with Korean people even on a basic level. So, every day I spent hours studying Korean and after 9 months I successfully passed the 4th level Test of Proficiency in Korean. In addition I took classes in both Korean and English languages in XXX University.
    I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to participate in the Erasmus programme at your University, which would enhance my future professional and personal development. The experience that I could gain by studying in a foreign country would be valuable for both my studies and personal development.
    Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

    Yours faithfully,
    XXX
    hope this helps
 
 
 
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