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Is cheating ever acceptable? watch

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    Before everyone starts flaming me - no I haven't cheated. I just wanted to collect people's thoughts and opinions on the concept of cheating. Started during work the other day, I was talking to some friends and the conversation moved to cheating. Personally, I've been in my first ever relationship for two and a half years now (definition of a man-whore previously) and I look down on the whole concept of cheating - I'd rather break up with my girlfriend and do what I want than cheat on her.

    Then one of the guys said, "well everyone cheats nowadays, it doesn't matter" (he'd just recently been caught cheating after the one night stand tweeted his girlfriend - ouch). Then my other friend was telling me about how her now husband had cheated on her previously quite a few times (and with her best friends), and she has her suspicious since they've been married. This made me think, would it be "acceptable" for her to cheat in return?

    We had the whole debate about if you forgive someone for cheating you put it behind you etc but you can't just tune that sort of event off. If she cheats, would he have a right to be angry or frustrated? Or would she be well within her rights?

    Discuss...
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    I personally think there is no excuse ever to cheat.
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    No.
    /end discussion
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    (Original post by TheBigJosh)
    No.
    /end discussion
    An abusive relationship where she's scared to leave the guy because of possible repercussions?
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    (Original post by TheSpecialist)
    An abusive relationship where she's scared to leave the guy because of possible repercussions?
    Where does the cheating come in? I don't understand your point.
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    If the relationship calls for it then yeah. I've seen/come across/interacted/worked with a hell of a lot of people who have cheated on their partners and usually it's the case that they can't leave them for some reason, but at the same time they can't be entirely fulfilled in their relationship so cheating gives them a satisfaction their relationship doesn't give them.

    The simplest example I can use is my friend who used to work as a call girl. Thanks to this I've had the opportunity to interact with quite a lot of her clients (I sort of took on the role as her PA) and people she worked with. Most cheaters I came across were open about their relationships and a pattern that I saw amongst many of them is that they cheated on their partners to help their relationships. There was this one particular guy I'm thinking of whose wife refused him oral sex because "the mouth is for eating". He had no choice but to stay with her because she was from "back home" (India I think it was?) and they had a few kids. He hired my friend not just for the sex, but for the oral sex specifically because his wife deprived him of it and he enjoyed it so much that he couldn't feel at all satisfied/content without it. Sex is such an important thing for people (from what I've seen, guys especially!) that once you realise how crucial satisfaction via sex for certain people like that guy, it is understandable why they cheat.

    Imo, a mid-life crisis would also justify cheating. That guy was one of my friend's regulars so I heard quite a few stories of him and I even got to meet him once when he was dropping my friend off to me. The signs were clear that he was going through a mid-life crisis. He was 47 years old I think (I remember because I'm Vixen47 :grin:) and he had some brand new Audi (R8?) which someone half his age should be driving. He apparently once asked my friend if she thought he was attractive. :mmm: There was a lot more about the guy but I won't go into it all. Men in this position become so insecure that they need someone to make them feel like they're worth something. It's really sad seeing them go through it because they're entirely helpless in that situation.

    After experiencing so many guys like that through my friend, I realised just how important it is for certain people to cheat. (I'm talking about the ones that need it -- not the idiots who do it for the hell of it. There is a difference.) For these people the sex is literally just sex and nothing more. It's nothing emotional or symbolic of anything.

    I've cheated just once in the past but at the time I was in the middle of a manic episode where I had started exhibiting hypersexuality. (I suffer borderline personality disorder.) At the time I had just entered a relationship and I was absolutely terrified of my then-boyfriend leaving me so in order to convince myself I had control of the situation, I slept with a guy who came on to me while I was out one day. This probably sounds so stupid to the average person but when your mind/mental health screws with you, you're left in a vulnerable state of confusion and you don't realise just what you're doing or the effects of it. I remember my last thought before I disassociated myself from it all was that "if he (boyfriend) ever leaves me then at least I have the upper hand by doing this!" I have absolutely no idea what I meant by this. I have a theory or two but I don't know. I was so lost at the time and my relationship was making me go ****ing crazy because I was becoming so anxious over him leaving my that my BPD went erratic. Situations like this are just one of those things which most people will be ignorant to, and that's understandable, but it doesn't change the fact that when it happens it's out of the sufferer's control, and because of this the cheating can be justified.

    TL;DR Yes, with certain people in certain situations it can be. Those who say it can't need to understand the human mind a little bit more. :yep:
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    No, I don't think it's ever acceptable... I like the quote "A relationship isn't a test, so why cheat?"
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    yes if the other half is an absolute tool!


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    No.
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    id say no,

    my ex cheated one me and whilst now i can understand why does not mean i accept it
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    No, cheating suggests that you're breaking the rules you set up. If you want an open relationship, then say so.
    But don't do that to your partner.
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    (Original post by TheSpecialist)
    An abusive relationship where she's scared to leave the guy because of possible repercussions?
    She'd probably be quite scared of cheating then wouldn't she...


    Anyway, it depends on your outlook on life as to whether cheating is acceptable or not, but it does make you a ****. Acceptable to society? Probably not, acceptable to yourself, it's something you have to look inside yourself and ask I suppose.

    Nothing feels better than having sex with someone when your partner is mugging you off though, but nothing feels worse than when you are back on good terms and you regret what you've done.
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    Not really especially not if you blame it on your mental health..
    Though as someone mentioned abusive relationships, scared to leave - doesn't make them scared to seek someone else so to say. I think that'd be acceptable really but under normal circumstances where you're meant to love your partner, no.

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8SOQEitsJI

    This is a pretty interesting video on monogamy, I don't necessarily agree with it, but it's something I find interesting nonetheless.
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    (Original post by Vixen47)
    If the relationship calls for it then yeah. I've seen/come across/interacted/worked with a hell of a lot of people who have cheated on their partners and usually it's the case that they can't leave them for some reason, but at the same time they can't be entirely fulfilled in their relationship so cheating gives them a satisfaction their relationship doesn't give them.

    The simplest example I can use is my friend who used to work as a call girl. Thanks to this I've had the opportunity to interact with quite a lot of her clients (I sort of took on the role as her PA) and people she worked with. Most cheaters I came across were open about their relationships and a pattern that I saw amongst many of them is that they cheated on their partners to help their relationships. There was this one particular guy I'm thinking of whose wife refused him oral sex because "the mouth is for eating". He had no choice but to stay with her because she was from "back home" (India I think it was?) and they had a few kids. He hired my friend not just for the sex, but for the oral sex specifically because his wife deprived him of it and he enjoyed it so much that he couldn't feel at all satisfied/content without it. Sex is such an important thing for people (from what I've seen, guys especially!) that once you realise how crucial satisfaction via sex for certain people like that guy, it is understandable why they cheat.

    Imo, a mid-life crisis would also justify cheating. That guy was one of my friend's regulars so I heard quite a few stories of him and I even got to meet him once when he was dropping my friend off to me. The signs were clear that he was going through a mid-life crisis. He was 47 years old I think (I remember because I'm Vixen47 :grin:) and he had some brand new Audi (R8?) which someone half his age should be driving. He apparently once asked my friend if she thought he was attractive. :mmm: There was a lot more about the guy but I won't go into it all. Men in this position become so insecure that they need someone to make them feel like they're worth something. It's really sad seeing them go through it because they're entirely helpless in that situation.

    After experiencing so many guys like that through my friend, I realised just how important it is for certain people to cheat. (I'm talking about the ones that need it -- not the idiots who do it for the hell of it. There is a difference.) For these people the sex is literally just sex and nothing more. It's nothing emotional or symbolic of anything.

    I've cheated just once in the past but at the time I was in the middle of a manic episode where I had started exhibiting hypersexuality. (I suffer borderline personality disorder.) At the time I had just entered a relationship and I was absolutely terrified of my then-boyfriend leaving me so in order to convince myself I had control of the situation, I slept with a guy who came on to me while I was out one day. This probably sounds so stupid to the average person but when your mind/mental health screws with you, you're left in a vulnerable state of confusion and you don't realise just what you're doing or the effects of it. I remember my last thought before I disassociated myself from it all was that "if he (boyfriend) ever leaves me then at least I have the upper hand by doing this!" I have absolutely no idea what I meant by this. I have a theory or two but I don't know. I was so lost at the time and my relationship was making me go ****ing crazy because I was becoming so anxious over him leaving my that my BPD went erratic. Situations like this are just one of those things which most people will be ignorant to, and that's understandable, but it doesn't change the fact that when it happens it's out of the sufferer's control, and because of this the cheating can be justified.

    TL;DR Yes, with certain people in certain situations it can be. Those who say it can't need to understand the human mind a little bit more. :yep:
    Holy **** I've never read anything so stupid in my life. Justifying your mistakes with retardation doesn't make it okay, you're a terrible person who did a terrible thing - deal with it
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    (Original post by TheSpecialist)
    An abusive relationship where she's scared to leave the guy because of possible repercussions?
    interesting you assume that it' the man who is the abuser ...

    but surely if you were scared to leave someone because of the repercussions, cheating would be even worse?
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    (Original post by Vixen47)
    If the relationship calls for it then yeah. I've seen/come across/interacted/worked with a hell of a lot of people who have cheated on their partners and usually it's the case that they can't leave them for some reason, but at the same time they can't be entirely fulfilled in their relationship so cheating gives them a satisfaction their relationship doesn't give them.

    The simplest example I can use is my friend who used to work as a call girl. Thanks to this I've had the opportunity to interact with quite a lot of her clients (I sort of took on the role as her PA) and people she worked with. Most cheaters I came across were open about their relationships and a pattern that I saw amongst many of them is that they cheated on their partners to help their relationships. There was this one particular guy I'm thinking of whose wife refused him oral sex because "the mouth is for eating". He had no choice but to stay with her because she was from "back home" (India I think it was?) and they had a few kids. He hired my friend not just for the sex, but for the oral sex specifically because his wife deprived him of it and he enjoyed it so much that he couldn't feel at all satisfied/content without it. Sex is such an important thing for people (from what I've seen, guys especially!) that once you realise how crucial satisfaction via sex for certain people like that guy, it is understandable why they cheat.

    Imo, a mid-life crisis would also justify cheating. That guy was one of my friend's regulars so I heard quite a few stories of him and I even got to meet him once when he was dropping my friend off to me. The signs were clear that he was going through a mid-life crisis. He was 47 years old I think (I remember because I'm Vixen47 :grin:) and he had some brand new Audi (R8?) which someone half his age should be driving. He apparently once asked my friend if she thought he was attractive. :mmm: There was a lot more about the guy but I won't go into it all. Men in this position become so insecure that they need someone to make them feel like they're worth something. It's really sad seeing them go through it because they're entirely helpless in that situation.

    After experiencing so many guys like that through my friend, I realised just how important it is for certain people to cheat. (I'm talking about the ones that need it -- not the idiots who do it for the hell of it. There is a difference.) For these people the sex is literally just sex and nothing more. It's nothing emotional or symbolic of anything.

    I've cheated just once in the past but at the time I was in the middle of a manic episode where I had started exhibiting hypersexuality. (I suffer borderline personality disorder.) At the time I had just entered a relationship and I was absolutely terrified of my then-boyfriend leaving me so in order to convince myself I had control of the situation, I slept with a guy who came on to me while I was out one day. This probably sounds so stupid to the average person but when your mind/mental health screws with you, you're left in a vulnerable state of confusion and you don't realise just what you're doing or the effects of it. I remember my last thought before I disassociated myself from it all was that "if he (boyfriend) ever leaves me then at least I have the upper hand by doing this!" I have absolutely no idea what I meant by this. I have a theory or two but I don't know. I was so lost at the time and my relationship was making me go ****ing crazy because I was becoming so anxious over him leaving my that my BPD went erratic. Situations like this are just one of those things which most people will be ignorant to, and that's understandable, but it doesn't change the fact that when it happens it's out of the sufferer's control, and because of this the cheating can be justified.

    TL;DR Yes, with certain people in certain situations it can be. Those who say it can't need to understand the human mind a little bit more. :yep:
    TL;DR, this post is full of bull****. Your justifications are extremely poor. Nobody 'needs' it. That is simply made up - they're just pathetically weak and don't deserve their partners. The oral sex bit itself is just downright silly. And then you go on to imply that the rest of us are ignorant if we disagree with you? Maybe the last paragraph rids you of some blame, however that doesn't make it any less of a problem in the grand scheme of things. It's still messed up.
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    (Original post by TheSpecialist)
    An abusive relationship where she's scared to leave the guy because of possible repercussions?
    This is implicitly sexist. Something like 40% of domestic abuse is done by women, FYI.
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    Wow I was honestly expecting people to say 'yeh if they're boring/not hot enough/too clingy/needy' etc. bla
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    No its never acceptable in my opinion
 
 
 
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