The Student Room Group

Ditched for another girl

I've been seeing this person from college for a few months. We've slept together a few times, but never been officially together. Around January time, he was saying things like he wanted a relationship with me but wasn't properly ready seeing as he'd just come out of one with his ex lasting over a year. It seemed to be ok until a couple of months later he met someone else and got with her, telling me that she just "appealed more to the real him" and all this. Some bad things were said and we ended up not talking for a month. Then after this we start speaking again, I asked him why he never gave me a serious chance and he said he thought I was "too pretty" for him and that this other girl was more "attainable", which I just thought was bull**** and him saying what he thought I wanted to hear (by this time he'd broken up with that girl). We've been seeing each other as friends again (and have actually had sex a few more times seeing as we both always get really horny), but over the past 2 weeks he's told me he wants to be in a relationship with this other girl from work. I've seen her, and I really don't think she's particularly attractive, but he says they "just click" and all this. I really do (or did) like him a hell of a lot though.

Now I'm just left wondering, does it all really mean this girl is more attractive, and I'm just absolutely hideous, **** and boring? I know people say personality matters etc, but I always kind of thought most men were shallow and would always really go for the more attractive girl... ? He also started sleeping with her 3 days after the last time he slept with me.

Basically, does it this reflect on me personally? :frown:
Reply 1
If he wanted a relationship with you then he would have got together with you. You went and gave him everything, so why should he have bothered getting emotionally involved in a relationship?

Sounds like he used you. The only way it reflects on you, is that you let him do it.
A situation much like that happened to me a few years ago. He was doing his second degree as he messed up his first and he didn’t have time to invest in a relationship. Or that is what he told me.

After New years, he tells me out of the blue that he had invited his ex over to ask whether they should get back together. Apparently, he had been thinking about getting into a relationship for a while (and yet this was the first I had heard of it).

Then he goes on to say he was debating about getting into a relationship either with his supervisor at work or his ex. But he decided that his ex would be a better choice as they had history. I felt invisible and the way he told me so brazenly as if I was nothing was hurtful. The guy knocked my confidence for a long time and I started doubting whether I was attractive too. The fact that the guy chose the other girl has no reflection on how attractive you are. To be honest, do you really want to be with someone who treats you like scum? The guy has done you a favour.

The guy used you and he is going to keep on doing it by pushing the boundaries. He doesn’t sound like he cares about you at all, even if he may tell you otherwise. You made a mistake and I’m hoping you will learn from it. If I were you, I’d break ties with him NOW. Stop sleeping with him and have nothing to do with him. Let the guy know that you won’t be disrespected.
It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you're unattractive... It means this guy is an immature dick who used you for sex and got bored so has gone to play his silly games with someone else. Please don't be down about it. Why would you want to be with someone like that?
He's probably gonna make the same excuses with this next girl - sounds like he thinks he's some kind of manwhore with all his phrases.

It's not u, it's him trying to get around.
Reply 5
I have broken ties with him now.

I just can't help thinking this wouldn't happen if I was prettier or more interesting etc. :frown:
Reply 6
Anonymous
I have broken ties with him now.

I just can't help thinking this wouldn't happen if I was prettier or more interesting etc. :frown:


Don't be daft! Your best off without him, sounds like a lucky escape :smile: