Smelly friend, how to tell them?

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squealia
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There is a friend within my group that frequently smells pretty bad of BO. We know he showers every day, so he either doesn't wash his clothes enough, or doesn't use deodorant.

The rest of the group have all come to the same conclusion but no one is brave enough to say anything, but we have tried bringing up the conversation of what deodorants ect people use to try give him the hint.

I feel that he needs to be told sooner or later for his (and our) sakes! But how can we tell him?!

(I would usually step up to the plate and do it, but this guy had/has a bit of a thing for me so not sure I would be the best person for the job)
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DCFCfan4eva
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(Original post by squealia)
There is a friend within my group that frequently smells pretty bad of BO. We know he showers every day, so he either doesn't wash his clothes enough, or doesn't use deodorant.

The rest of the group have all come to the same conclusion but no one is brave enough to say anything, but we have tried bringing up the conversation of what deodorants ect people use to try give him the hint.

I feel that he needs to be told sooner or later for his (and our) sakes! But how can we tell him?!

(I would usually step up to the plate and do it, but this guy had/has a bit of a thing for me so not sure I would be the best person for the job)
When's his birthday? You could always buy him some?
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username91207
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If he fancies you then you are the perfect person for the job - he will make more of an effort to rectify the problem if he thinks you might be interested if he does.
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nohomo
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You could set up an anonymous email account and tell him that he smells through email.
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Midlander
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(Original post by squealia)
There is a friend within my group that frequently smells pretty bad of BO. We know he showers every day, so he either doesn't wash his clothes enough, or doesn't use deodorant.

The rest of the group have all come to the same conclusion but no one is brave enough to say anything, but we have tried bringing up the conversation of what deodorants ect people use to try give him the hint.

I feel that he needs to be told sooner or later for his (and our) sakes! But how can we tell him?!

(I would usually step up to the plate and do it, but this guy had/has a bit of a thing for me so not sure I would be the best person for the job)
Just get somebody to have a quiet word-it isn't hard and is much more preferable to giving passive aggressive hints.


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the bear
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it's Valentine's Day soon... get him a special anonymous card & deodorant
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Anonymous #1
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I think I may be the friend...thanks!
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demetria
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Could you maybe write a note and slip it in his bag or something? That way he wont know exactly who's given him it and hopefully he'll find and open it when he gets home rather than infront of anyone to save embarassment
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DeceitfulDove
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Awkward..
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princess:)
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Oh dear... It's the thought that counts, right?
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sr90
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(Original post by squealia)
(I would usually step up to the plate and do it, but this guy had/has a bit of a thing for me so not sure I would be the best person for the job)
If that's the case he would probably take it better from you than anyone else. Even though it's the most awkward thing ever it's probably for the best that someone says something. He may not even know that there is a problem.
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squealia
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okay, so people are saying I should tell him. How do I go about this?! we live on the same corridor in halls and are quite good friends. Do I just go to his room? or try bring it up at some point that we end up having a one on one chat?
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cuckoo99
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(Original post by squealia)
okay, so people are saying I should tell him. How do I go about this?! we live on the same corridor in halls and are quite good friends. Do I just go to his room? or try bring it up at some point that we end up having a one on one chat?
Just tell him that you aint trying to be mean but you smell mate and need some anti antiperspirant or suffin... He will appreciate the honesty.
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Maid Marian
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I think the best policy in these situations is just to be honest. Sure, it's embarrassing for everyone involved, but he'll thank you for it in the future!
No point larking about with subliminal messages with deodorants etc. If it were me, I'd rather just be told outright. I'd be hurt, but at least I could go and sort it out!

Just say it tactfully and obviously don't blurt it out in front of everyone, do it in private.
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bigwhalegambler
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(Original post by Maid Marian)
I think the best policy in these situations is just to be honest. Sure, it's embarrassing for everyone involved, but he'll thank you for it in the future!
No point larking about with subliminal messages with deodorants etc. If it were me, I'd rather just be told outright. I'd be hurt, but at least I could go and sort it out!

Just say it tactfully and obviously don't blurt it out in front of everyone, do it in private.
well look who's back
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RVNmax
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(Original post by squealia)
There is a friend within my group that frequently smells pretty bad of BO. We know he showers every day, so he either doesn't wash his clothes enough, or doesn't use deodorant.

The rest of the group have all come to the same conclusion but no one is brave enough to say anything, but we have tried bringing up the conversation of what deodorants ect people use to try give him the hint.

I feel that he needs to be told sooner or later for his (and our) sakes! But how can we tell him?!

(I would usually step up to the plate and do it, but this guy had/has a bit of a thing for me so not sure I would be the best person for the job)
He'd definitely appreciate it, as long as it's done in the correct way.
Please don't go with the 'what's that smell?' approach; be honest.

Try find a time where there aren't too many people around and you happen to be close to him. Then say "You stink today man/dude". You will probably lean away from him while saying that to let him know you really don't like it. But depending on the awkwardness, lean into him after that laughing "honestly!"

If the problem persists after a few days then something like "Do you exercise just before we meet or something, 'cos you don't smell to good again? Maybe, bring some deodorant at least? Talcum powder?"
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AKWxxx
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(Original post by RVNmax)
He'd definitely appreciate it, as long as it's done in the correct way.
Please don't go with the 'what's that smell?' approach; be honest.

Try find a time where there aren't too many people around and you happen to be close to him. Then say "You stink today man/dude". You will probably lean away from him while saying that to let him know you really don't like it. But depending on the awkwardness, lean into him after that laughing "honestly!"

If the problem persists after a few days then something like "Do you exercise just before we meet or something, 'cos you don't smell to good again? Maybe, bring some deodorant at least? Talcum powder?"
bad advice.

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Nerd2
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Just say: " Bob, sometimes you can be a right smelly ****er, try some Right Guard!
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RVNmax
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(Original post by AKWxxx)
bad advice.

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Why is that? What would you suggest differently?
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Truflais
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Just tell them straight up. Wait until you're alone, and just say 'hey, look I didn't want to bring it up and I don't want to hurt your feelings but I've noticed you don't smell so great quite a lot. I thought I should tell you as your friend because it doesn't really bother me but I don't want it coming from a stranger and you being hurt or upset that I didn't tell you sooner.'

Do NOT be like 'ooh what's the smell?' And don't but him deodorant etc, just be HONEST. It's possible to be nice but honest, and he will appreciate it in the future even if he is hurt at first.
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