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Anyone fancy reading a poem?

So, I've written a poem that I might use as an Advanced Higher English folio piece, but would like some feedback first- will post on this thread if anyone is interested :smile: It's not long or complicated, promise!
Reply 1
Avatar for Student_27
Student_27
6
Yes I'll read it!


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Reply 2
Avatar for greenangel
greenangel
OP
[h="1"]I've Never Been Drunk[/h]I've never been drunk
On love, music, films, friends or fun
I've never been high
From running or reading, or that party atmosphere
When people start kissing
It just doesn't touch me
The way I know it should

But I've been drunk many times
In his house, in his bed, in his arms
On beer and rum and whiskey
He puts them in my hands of bone
And wraps his arms round the flesh
That holds me together
And he gets me to talk

I tell him I love him
That I hate him
That he deserves more than me
That he's more than I deserve
He asks me why, uses my rare speech
To find out why I cry when he loves me
But I can't tell him that

He can't know that it's because
There is a weighted chain in my mind
That is wrapped around my too honest tongue
A chain that even alcohol will not loosen
Nor will his love
Nor his eyes
That I know should make me melt

His beauty alarms me
Because I know I don't use it right
I know he should intoxicate me
That I should be able to tell him everything
I know I can.
But my tongue has it's limits
And it wont speak my truth.


Thanks for any feedback, much appreciated :smile:
Reply 3
Avatar for Student_27
Student_27
6
I like it! It's good, well done! :smile:

It sounds like he's almost like her alcohol, taking away her consciousness in a way, taking hold of her body and controlling her actions...is the alcohol a sort of metaphor for him? - or that might just be my interpretation!




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Reply 4
Avatar for Student_27
Student_27
6
It's me again, the last stanza has got me thinking.

Her tongue has its limits - the way we have our limits on alcohol, how much we should drink or how much we can drink before it turns us into a drunken state.

Intoxicated - is she intoxicated by his love? Does 'intoxicated' suggest that it isn't a good thing, that it's got its dangers and warnings?

Alcohol can make people pour out their emotions and thoughts and say what they're thinking, people sometimes lose control of themselves when drunk and say things they'll later regret...does this have something in connection with the poem and its meaning?


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Reply 5
Avatar for greenangel
greenangel
OP
You've pretty much got it, especially the whole alcohol metaphor, but to be honest I hadn't intended the 'limits' idea, that just sort of happened! Thank you for taking the time to read this and give feedback, I really appreciate it :smile:

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