How do Muslim girls deal with their natural sexual desires? Watch

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Anonymous #1
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I'm Muslim and have never been able to discuss this with Muslim girl friends (all prudes) so I wanted to get some of the opinions other Muslims/Non-Muslims have on this. I'm approached by guys often and always tell them that I'm not interested etc. BUT I AM. I would kill to be able to have a relationship with a guy, it's natural. I know Islam forbids premarital sex and adhere to that but I'd like to know how other girls have struggled with this? We aren't marrying as early as people used to so more challenges and frustration is experienced. Masturbation is haram too (I can't disallow myself this either as I will be likely to sin). Most Muslim girls are too embarrassed to discuss this or even acknowledge the fact that they are attracted to the opposite sex and may have "sinful thoughts".

Fair enough, I may have a bigger problem as I'm literally dying to have sex (I'm 20 years old). I've had a lot of times growing up that have given me the opportunity to do so, but my religious beliefs have led me to refuse. Have any other Muslim ever experienced any issues regarding sexual desires? How do you deal with them if you don't masturbate? I'm genuinely interested.
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fattsxo
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' Masturbation is haram too (I can't disallow myself this either as I will be likely to sin)'

So do you masturbate to calm down your desires?
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GnomeMage
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i thought masturbation is okay in islam, read on a forum where someone said mastubation prevents act of adultary so its legal.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by fattsxo)
' Masturbation is haram too (I can't disallow myself this either as I will be likely to sin)'

So do you masturbate to calm down your desires?
Yes- or I will most definitely end up committing zina. I know that, so I have to.
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TheBBQ
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OP are you seeking just sexual satisfaction from any male or a relationship itself with all the things that come with it?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes- or I will most definitely end up committing zina. I know that, so I have to.
Am a muslim guy who has similar issues but masterbation is addictive. From one muslim to another u can get married at 20, most muslim women do get married around that age.
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thatrollingstone
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What's stopping you from masturbating?

Break free from the confines of your narrow minded parents and do what you want. Masturbation is a private activity and not something that has to be shared or revealed to anyone.

And while we're at it, let's admit it. You're not a Muslim. Your religion is forced and inherited. Break free and be who you are and do what you want to do.
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paradoxicalme
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I don't know your position in terms of being a Muslim - whether you want to be or not - but I do know that non-Muslims have the same issue, especially girls. Fact is, I would really like to have sex (or, better, be in a relationship where that kind of thing was on the table) but as well as being unable to get the opportunity, there's a constant fear that you'll be called a slut or whore and be stereotyped.
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Starrydog
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Am a muslim guy who has similar issues but masterbation is addictive. From one muslim to another u can get married at 20, most muslim women do get married around that age.
I know this is a different culture but its not simply a case of marrying. Marriage is normally built on a long term relationship its not something you do so you can have sex? I understand in Islam sex before marriage is prohibited, however I don't feel OP should simply seek a wedding for her sexual satisfaction.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Fair enough, I may have a bigger problem as I'm literally dying to have sex (I'm 20 years old). I've had a lot of times growing up that have given me the opportunity to do so, but my religious beliefs have led me to refuse. Have any other Muslim ever experienced any issues regarding sexual desires? How do you deal with them if you don't masturbate? I'm genuinely interested.

Is it you who believes that it is sinful to act on your desires or is it a matter of pressure from your community?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by thatrollingstone)
What's stopping you from masturbating?

Break free from the confines of your narrow minded parents and do what you want. Masturbation is a private activity and not something that has to be shared or revealed to anyone.

And while we're at it, let's admit it. You're not a Muslim. Your religion is forced and inherited. Break free and be who you are and do what you want to do.
What a disgusting answer.

Sister, always remember what Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The world is a prison for a believer and Paradise for a non-believer." You shall get rewarded for your good deeds. The more you resist your temptations the more you will be rewarded. May Allah (swt) guide you to the right path. Ameen, Sum'Aameen.
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ExtremelyCynical
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm Muslim and have never been able to discuss this with Muslim girl friends (all prudes) so I wanted to get some of the opinions other Muslims/Non-Muslims have on this. I'm approached by guys often and always tell them that I'm not interested etc. BUT I AM. I would kill to be able to have a relationship with a guy, it's natural. I know Islam forbids premarital sex and adhere to that but I'd like to know how other girls have struggled with this? We aren't marrying as early as people used to so more challenges and frustration is experienced. Masturbation is haram too (I can't disallow myself this either as I will be likely to sin). Most Muslim girls are too embarrassed to discuss this or even acknowledge the fact that they are attracted to the opposite sex and may have "sinful thoughts".

Fair enough, I may have a bigger problem as I'm literally dying to have sex (I'm 20 years old). I've had a lot of times growing up that have given me the opportunity to do so, but my religious beliefs have led me to refuse. Have any other Muslim ever experienced any issues regarding sexual desires? How do you deal with them if you don't masturbate? I'm genuinely interested.
Is that supposed to mean that your prudish Muslim girl friends have none of these 'natural sexual desires' that you are bemoaning and ailing of? Or is that meant as a passive-aggressive insult to your prudish Muslim girl friends because you hold them in contempt for something they cannot help? Just like you can't help being massively horny, they can't help being massively prudish. If they were horny, they wouldn't mind discussing these things with you. It isn't their fault that you're horny and they're not.
If you crave sex so much and want to do it at any cost and the halal way, how about just simply getting married and doing it? That seems to be your only option right now. You can't have your cake and eat it.
And fyi, it isn't only Muslims who abstain from the unseemly acts of immorality that you seem to be suggesting are something everybody should be allowed to do with no fear. Anybody with a sense of perspective will abstain.
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Anonymous #4
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Ok, you have mentioned that you are 20 years old. As you get older you probably do feel the need to fulfill your desire and the great thing is, Allah hasn't forbidden that. The condition is, marriage needs to take place.
Yes, marriage is a life long commitment but would you really want to give in to your desire, lose something valuable to someone other than the person you are commited to for the rest of your life?
Masturbation probably isn't the best way to restrain desire, if anything, it will increase it. If you were to commit adultery, you will probably regret it for the rest of your life so I don't think that should be an option to consider either.

Take marriage into consideration but in the meantime, I think the best way is to turn to Allah. There is more to life than desire. Instead of concentrating on that, try getting closer to your Lord. If you take on step towards him, he will take 10 towards you. If you really want to overcome these low base desires, you need to seek help from the one who can break you free from them.

I hope these words have helped a little bit, may Allah keep you safe.
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Anonymous #5
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Hi
I am a muslim female and i completely understand your point ,I am 21 years old and have never been in a proper relationship ,I usually refuse guys that have intentions other than marriage .I know i might get a lot of hate for this but i usually deal with my sexual desires by masturbating ,I know its not allowed and it's wrong but I can't help it ,the only thing that actually helps me .I am a virgin so i try not to finger too deeply ,but yes i am guilty of watching porn and i masturbate every other day.I feel so guilty when i finish but i can't help it .
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Jebedee
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(Original post by ExtremelyCynical)
Is that supposed to mean that your prudish Muslim girl friends have none of these 'natural sexual desires' that you are bemoaning and ailing of? Or is that meant as a passive-aggressive insult to your prudish Muslim girl friends because you hold them in contempt for something they cannot help? Just like you can't help being massively horny, they can't help being massively prudish. If they were horny, they wouldn't mind discussing these things with you. It isn't their fault that you're horny and they're not.
If you crave sex so much and want to do it at any cost and the halal way, how about just simply getting married and doing it? That seems to be your only option right now. You can't have your cake and eat it.
And fyi, it isn't only Muslims who abstain from the unseemly acts of immorality that you seem to be suggesting are something everybody should be allowed to do with no fear. Anybody with a sense of perspective will abstain.
This might be beyond your limits to imagine but have you ever considered that some people are just sexually incompatible? If marriage is so important (which is certainly is in most faiths), then shouldn't it make sense to exhaust all avenues of finding out everything about your potential partner in order to make a correct decision and avoid a divorce. I'm not saying whore yourself out on the street but what's wrong with doing it with a long term boyfriend? Can you give any logical argument against that or just spout dogma?

I've met a ton of Muslims who in their starry-eyed daze have married quite young (often with pressure from parents), then the husband will start battering them. Their parents will even go as far to tell them to just deal with it all to avoid the shame of having a divorced daughter. The ones I met were divorced so I can only imagine how many are trapped in unhappy relationships in fear of disappointing others. It's quite heartbreaking to hear.

This is the same concept.
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Mankytoes
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm Muslim and have never been able to discuss this with Muslim girl friends (all prudes) so I wanted to get some of the opinions other Muslims/Non-Muslims have on this. I'm approached by guys often and always tell them that I'm not interested etc. BUT I AM. I would kill to be able to have a relationship with a guy, it's natural. I know Islam forbids premarital sex and adhere to that but I'd like to know how other girls have struggled with this? We aren't marrying as early as people used to so more challenges and frustration is experienced. Masturbation is haram too (I can't disallow myself this either as I will be likely to sin). Most Muslim girls are too embarrassed to discuss this or even acknowledge the fact that they are attracted to the opposite sex and may have "sinful thoughts".

Fair enough, I may have a bigger problem as I'm literally dying to have sex (I'm 20 years old). I've had a lot of times growing up that have given me the opportunity to do so, but my religious beliefs have led me to refuse. Have any other Muslim ever experienced any issues regarding sexual desires? How do you deal with them if you don't masturbate? I'm genuinely interested.
This is the crux of the problem. These rules are based around societies where people get married as teenagers, not in their late twenties/early thirties, which I believe is the average in England. It's asking too much.
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abbasahmed786
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I am a man and have same desires. I'm just waiting for my shaadi (marriage.)
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donutaud15
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(Original post by ExtremelyCynical)
Is that supposed to mean that your prudish Muslim girl friends have none of these 'natural sexual desires' that you are bemoaning and ailing of? Or is that meant as a passive-aggressive insult to your prudish Muslim girl friends because you hold them in contempt for something they cannot help? Just like you can't help being massively horny, they can't help being massively prudish. If they were horny, they wouldn't mind discussing these things with you. It isn't their fault that you're horny and they're not.
If you crave sex so much and want to do it at any cost and the halal way, how about just simply getting married and doing it? That seems to be your only option right now. You can't have your cake and eat it.
And fyi, it isn't only Muslims who abstain from the unseemly acts of immorality that you seem to be suggesting are something everybody should be allowed to do with no fear. Anybody with a sense of perspective will abstain.
you do realise that just cos OP's friends doesn't discuss sex doesn't mean they are not horny don't you? There are people who just can't discuss sex probably because of embarrassment.



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ExtremelyCynical
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(Original post by Jebedee)
This might be beyond your limits to imagine but have you ever considered that some people are just sexually incompatible? If marriage is so important (which is certainly is in most faiths), then shouldn't it make sense to exhaust all avenues of finding out everything about your potential partner in order to make a correct decision and avoid a divorce. I'm not saying whore yourself out on the street but what's wrong with doing it with a long term boyfriend? Can you give any logical argument against that or just spout dogma?

I've met a ton of Muslims who in their starry-eyed daze have married quite young (often with pressure from parents), then the husband will start battering them. Their parents will even go as far to tell them to just deal with it all to avoid the shame of having a divorced daughter. The ones I met were divorced so I can only imagine how many are trapped in unhappy relationships in fear of disappointing others. It's quite heartbreaking to hear.

This is the same concept.
What is it that gave you the impression that that argument of yours might be beyond my limits to conceive of, comprehend and counteract? I dare say you're aware of the fact that arguments along the lines of 'trying it out and seeing how it works' are in abundance and at no risk of sudden shortage. I don't claim to be an expert on the subject, but studies have shown, if I'm not much in error, that tried and tested relationships stand time not very much longer than untried and untested ones. To judge by a human being's sexual desire whom to spend the rest of one's life with would be a fickle judgement. One's sexuality and sexual wants can hardly be wisely taken to be one's supreme guide. To accept your conclusion one must assume that sexuality and sexual feelings are two things: always right and always of the utmost important. I should think you should not have much difficulty pinpointing the error in that.

I doubt very much that you've met a ton of Muslims in that situation, much less a ton of Muslims in any situation. I won't deny that that situation exists, but I suspect you are stealthily proposing by that statement of yours that it is Islam's teaching of abstinence that fuels such situations. I will deny that and will repeat the of-repeated refutation of such tasteless, outdated allegations: in Islam, a man may not batter his wife, and parents may not force their children into marriage.

I don't see any similarity in either concept. I am bound to add that similarities in these starkly opposing notions will exist for those whose limits of comprehension are not very far off.
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ZackHa
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm literally dying to have sex
Wait, by saying this haven't you basically had sex without actually having sex?? The whole 'thinking of sinning is just as worse as sinning' thing, doesn't it apply here? or have I got it wrong.
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Jebedee
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(Original post by ExtremelyCynical)
What is it that gave you the impression that that argument of yours might be beyond my limits to conceive of, comprehend and counteract? I dare say you're aware of the fact that arguments along the lines of 'trying it out and seeing how it works' are in abundance and at no risk of sudden shortage. I don't claim to be an expert on the subject, but studies have shown, if I'm not much in error, that tried and tested relationships stand time not very much longer than untried and untested ones. To judge by a human being's sexual desire whom to spend the rest of one's life with would be a fickle judgement. One's sexuality and sexual wants can hardly be wisely taken to be one's supreme guide. To accept your conclusion one must assume that sexuality and sexual feelings are two things: always right and always of the utmost important. I should think you should not have much difficulty pinpointing the error in that.

I doubt very much that you've met a ton of Muslims in that situation, much less a ton of Muslims in any situation. I won't deny that that situation exists, but I suspect you are stealthily proposing by that statement of yours that it is Islam's teaching of abstinence that fuels such situations. I will deny that and will repeat the of-repeated refutation of such tasteless, outdated allegations: in Islam, a man may not batter his wife, and parents may not force their children into marriage.

I don't see any similarity in either concept. I am bound to add that similarities in these starkly opposing notions will exist for those whose limits of comprehension are not very far off.
Mainly it was your brash remarks about OP's friends having a perfectly natural feelings which you've demonised with no proper grounding. Could you please source these studies you speak of, out of curiosity? However, I think in this situation it is quite useless to judge the quality of a marriage by its duration, I would prefer to use happiness as a better factor of judgement...but I fear we have a conflict of interests here as that seems to be bottom of your list of priorities in a marriage.

If you must know I spent best part of a year in the most Muslim populated country in the world, which explains my familiarity with the plight of these women. But if you're going to call me a liar then I cannot really add anything to that, it reflects more poorly on your inability to address that point if anything.

Yes in Islam battering one's wife and parents forcing their children into marriage you say is forbidden. That's great but unfortunately not everyone follows the rules and the Islamic system doesn't seem to take that in consideration. So what you're left with a cross-section of people being victimised and their only option of preventing the situation removed.

Taking a more liberal stance to the situation means people can make and learn from their own mistakes, instead of being forced to pay the price for another's.
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