Seeing my ex, advice on keeping sane please!

Hey guys, as usual from me this is an essay and i'm not really sure what i'm asking - more of a worried rant than anything.

I'm back home from uni for a couple of weeks and tomo i have to see my ex for the first time in about 3 months. We've spoken occasionally since the last time we saw each other (via email) but i'm really worried i'm gonna do summat stupid like cry! I don't want him back, not at all, and he's got a new girl but i'm still feeling a little bit hurt by things that have happened in the past. Also, my home life is really stressful - don't get on with my mum and my step dad's a git, and living with them for the past week has really put me on a knife edge emotionally. (My ex is the only one who knows how ****e my home life is). If i start crying it'll mainly be because of that but everyone will assume its cos of my ex.

We're going out for a meal with a load of mutual friends, and i know that they will be analysing the way we act around each other and watching us intently (they're just like that). We've been such a close group of friends for years and i don't want my relationship breaking down to create tension and an awkward feeling amongst the group, so i've got to try to be brave and all "happy happy". I've managed to convince our friends that we're all hunky dory and that everything's fine but he wasn't in the room then, not sure i'm going to be able to keep it up when he's there. The last time we were all together (over Easter) it was really awkward between us as i had just tried to get him back (which failed) and we were giving each other space, but it made the whole evening awkward for everyone and i ended up leaving early.

Also most of our friends don't really know why we broke up, it was complicated and to be honest it's none of their business, but apparently some of them have assumed it's because of this new girl he's with. There was only about 6 weeks between us, and they live together which is why they have assumed that - also they are both very flirty ppl, but i know 100% that he didn't break up with me for her - she liked him while we were together, but nothing at all happened til after we'd split. Anyways to show that i'm ok with him having another girl i was thinking of asking "so how's X?" when ppl could hear us around the table, just to show i'm not bothered (even though i am slightly but it's all about appearences), is this a good idea? It's important for me that ppl stop thinking he's a bad guy, but i cannot break the trust and tell them the real reasons we broke up.

Anyways, i guess i'm asking for some kind of advice on ways to stop myself crying! Or does anyone have any tips on diffusing awkward situations? I know i shouldn't worry what ppl think, but i'm only back home for 2 weeks (cos i can't stand living here) and i just want things to be back to normal and not awkward and weird. At the end of the day i loved him, and he's happy which does make me happy, but sometimes my heart rules my mind and i forget that and get a bit sad.

It's weird, cos we are friends still - pretty good friends, and when no one else is around we've had no problems getting on fine (this was straight after the split) and i didn't get sad or silly it was just nice. But as soon as other ppl are there, watching us and analysing we can't be normal around each other and i HATE it.

Reply 1

username47781

Well surely you can completely ignore him and chat to your other friends

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Depends on what your ex wants, if he doesn't want you back, you will probably feel a bit strange but should be ok if it remains friendly. Its even better if you have friends around you.

However, about 4 weeks a go I met up with my ex alone (we'd been split up 3 months). We went back to his flat and I ended up sleeping with him. I didn't want it to happen but it happened in the heat of the moment. I felt guilty afterwards.

Reply 3

Wonderboy Blue

He's moved on. Leave the poor man alone. The most you could be is his sex toy. He isn't rushing to leave his girlfriend for you because he doesn't want you.

Leave him alone. Stay at a friend's house, go out, if you don't like being at home. Won't you be renting a house at uni in September? It's not that far off.

Move on!