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Losing friends when going to uni

anyone here afraid of losing their friends when they go to uni? I mean yes uni is on of the best place to make friends but im just afraid im going to lose contact with all of my mates and not make new friends just like them.

Reply 1

doublex

hold on a sec, lemme give stephen hawking a call...
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he says 'keep in touch, doofus'

Reply 2

neal.

1

first of all, why the random anonymous posting...?

i found that i only really keep in contact with my close friends from sixth form, about 6 people. the rest of them, who i would chat to all the time i school, i dont really keep in regular contact but see them on occassions like xmas eve, new years eve etc.

Reply 3

groovy_moose

1

I've kept in touch with most of the people i would call friends - there are others who i used to hang around with, but more because of mutal friends than anything else - i haven't seen many of these, but after a year away you appreciate that there's some 'friends' that you really didn't have anything in common with and therefore don't have a lot to talk about. My main core of school friends remains though and we still get on really well - it's weird, but it's also like not a lot's changed...

Reply 4

Louher

I'm still friends with people from school/college etc but to be honest i've found mostly we've grown apart. It's not a bad thing it's just people change follow different paths etc etc. If you put the effort in to stay in touch you will. Plus the summer holidays at uni and really long, so you catch up then and stuff :smile:

Reply 5

longlivefootie

9

I agree with groovy_moose and Louher :smile:

I was gonna say that too but you two took the words out of my mouth first lol

Reply 6

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

anyone here afraid of losing their friends when they go to uni? I mean yes uni is on of the best place to make friends but im just afraid im going to lose contact with all of my mates and not make new friends just like them.

If your university has semesters, you will spend about 10 weeks a year at home. If your uni has terms, you will spend maybe half the year at home. Even if through utter boredom, you will not lose contact with your friends. But then you'll grow apart from most, so you won't care anyway. :p:

Reply 7

Jump

18

generalebriety

If your university has semesters, you will spend about 10 weeks a year at home. If your uni has terms, you will spend maybe half the year at home. Even if through utter boredom, you will not lose contact with your friends. But then you'll grow apart from most, so you won't care anyway. :p:

Agree with the first part about holidays, you literally have loads! Plus it's also fun to go visit friends at their various uni's as they are more than keen to show you their new life and friends. Plus you can text, call and email to exchange stories and see how you are getting on.

About growing apart, that is by no means inevitable.

Reply 8

Amnesia

2

Anonymous

anyone here afraid of losing their friends when they go to uni? I mean yes uni is on of the best place to make friends but im just afraid im going to lose contact with all of my mates and not make new friends just like them.

I have kept in touch with quite a lot of my friends from school and you do get quite long holidays where you can catch up on things. You just have to make an effort to stay in touch with people and if they are good friends you can even visit them wherever they study. I do think it is inevitable that you will grow apart from some of your friends and that is generally how life is, but if you make an effort you can still keep in touch with people from school.

Reply 9

Cano234

If they are good friends then they will keep in touch

Reply 10

generalebriety

16

Jump

About growing apart, that is by no means inevitable.

In a sense, it is. Even if you still share interests, you will have very few chances to speak (relatively), and you will naturally drift apart, if only through the geography of it all. I'm not saying personalities change... just that when you're hundreds of miles away from each other between 50% and 80% of the year, and meeting new people and doing exciting (hopefully!) new things every day, it's not easy to stay best friends with the kid you met when you were 10.

But maybe that's just my pessimism.

Reply 11

Jump

18

generalebriety

In a sense, it is. Even if you still share interests, you will have very few chances to speak (relatively), and you will naturally drift apart, if only through the geography of it all. I'm not saying personalities change... just that when you're hundreds of miles away from each other between 50% and 80% of the year, and meeting new people and doing exciting (hopefully!) new things every day, it's not easy to stay best friends with the kid you met when you were 10.

But maybe that's just my pessimism.

I reckon your just being way to pessimistic!

Whilst enrolled at uni you spend a massive amount of time at home compared to school, as an average I'd say 40% which is plenty considering during Easter and Christmas holidays you cram alot of time in with friends and family rather than procrastinating on your loneseome as no doubt most TSR people tend to do. Plus you also have the added bonus of comparing the exciting new things that you have experienced since you have gone your seperate ways.

I'm only speaking from doing one year of uni and a tiny bit of travelling either side, I feel just as close to my friends from home as I did before I met a bunch of new friends at uni. Who are just that, new but certainly not any better or worse.

Reply 12

M'Lady

12

My friends all went to uni last year, to say goodbye we had a massive sleepover the week before people went to uni, started full time jobs, started college courses. I write to my friend in leeds and I talk to her on msn, infact I'm going to see her new home in a few weeks and I am still very much in contact with my friend who went to Hertfordshire. Ok so I don't see or talk to them as much, but they're still my friends. It's more special when we do meet.

Reply 13

boho

1

i'd say msn was the saving grace for all my friendships... as well as texting. yeah you may go away and meet new friends, but seriously, i spend more time out of lectures that i do in them at uni, which means im generally either shopping, or sat in my room watching jeremy kyle and neighbours - in which case i'll be on msn. most people at uni tend to just leave it on all day long, so you can always get hold of someone even if they aren't there when you initially start the convo.

and as everyone else has said - you get so many holidays and they're so long at that, that you do have plenty of time to see your home friends.

i'm part of a group of 7 girls, and our relationship hasn't changed at all since we all went off. we still see each other just as often as we did, and i find that even if you are away for a long time, they're just so happy to see you when you get back, it doesn't matter on the time you missed out on, just catch up.

Reply 14

M'Lady

12

boho

i'd say msn was the saving grace for all my friendships... as well as texting. yeah you may go away and meet new friends, but seriously, i spend more time out of lectures that i do in them at uni, which means im generally either shopping, or sat in my room watching jeremy kyle and neighbours - in which case i'll be on msn. most people at uni tend to just leave it on all day long, so you can always get hold of someone even if they aren't there when you initially start the convo.

and as everyone else has said - you get so many holidays and they're so long at that, that you do have plenty of time to see your home friends.

i'm part of a group of 7 girls, and our relationship hasn't changed at all since we all went off. we still see each other just as often as we did, and i find that even if you are away for a long time, they're just so happy to see you when you get back, it doesn't matter on the time you missed out on, just catch up.

Unless you do anything medical based :frown:

Reply 15

boho

1

The One and Only Lady Jennington

Unless you do anything medical based :frown:

yeah... and possibly maybe engineering - but we're talking about the masses here!

Reply 16

hailz202

yeh im quite anxious about leaving my best mate :s i know its inevitable and im guna meet loads of new friends and will still get to see my home friends loads...but it still doesnt change the fact that it will never the how it is now, and that is something that im not looking forward to! im sure ill get over it though afterall everyones guna be in the same boat.
xx

Reply 17

ems33

i am a bit, as most of my friends are either staying at home or going to a uni as close as possible, whereas ive decided to opt for a 4 and a half hour journey away. guess i wont be getting too many visits :rolleyes:

Reply 18

MissHero

1

I'm not worried, no. Of my group of friends, two spent the year travelling, a few at uni, a few doing other stuff, and we've not kept in touch that faithfully, but we don't need to. If you're really good friends, you'll find that when you meet up again, it won't matter whether you were last together last week, month or year, you'll always have plenty to talk about.

Reply 19

kpg

11

The One and Only Lady Jennington

Unless you do anything medical based :frown:

For the first 3 years atleast, usually, you'll get plenty of holiday. 4 weeks christmas, 4 weeks easter and upto 3 months for summer. If you're close with your friends you'll definitley keep in touch. But naturally everyone will make new friends at uni.

Losing friends when going to uni

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