Go out with her or not?

Hey, well I have a problem here. Long story basically, and i'll try and some it up quickly..

I've kinda fallen for the wrong girl and now i have to go uni in september. She equally feels the same for me but I don't wanna commit to a relationship in the fear that we will loose the close friendship we have got.

To not reveal too much, I got to know this girl around three years ago when she was kinda seeing my uncle at 16. It wasn't that serious or anything, my uncle basically took advantage of a very young, insecure girl from a tough up bringing when she was drunk at my cousins 16th b-day party. They then later saw each other a couple of times after that and that was about it. Our friendship grew as we spoke on msn about her 'love' for my uncle and how she was upset on how he ignored her after seeing her a few times. We talked more and more and then met up a couple of times. She then meets this guy on the net who she then later goes out with whilst i was away, abroad on holiday. Whilst i was away i kinda realised my feelings for her, but by then, it was too late. This was about a year and a half ago.

About two months into her relationship with this guy, it was my birthday, and she gave me a birthday kiss, which then lead to full on snogging. Obviously she was guilty for cheating on her long distance boyfriend, and i felt bad too. From then, we both tried to refrain from kissing etc as, of course, she was going out with her boyfriend which she liked alot. Nevertheless, throughout the time spent with her last summer, she was consistently flirting with me, making it incredibly hard for me to say no. She then went to uni, and continued to flirt and express how she felt for me despite going out her boyfriend. She then dumped her boyfriend, and now she says she wants to go out with me.

Now, i love this girl to bits, but there are a few things that are seriously troubling me; me going 600 miles away from her uni - meaning less time and more distraction from the opposite sex, the fact that she snogged etc my uncle (which my parents know about - and they would not approve of me going out with the girl who was associated with my uncle) and the fact that she flirted consistently (and probably other guys too) the time she was going out this guy who she was distraught about splitting up with - if she flirted with me during their relationship, whats to say that she will flirt then possibly cheat on me?!..

Now it may seem really stupid, but this is seriously troubling me and i need some impartial advice.. so all serious help will be deeply valued and appreciated.

Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

britishseapower

if in any doubt then it's probably best not to, there is alot of baggage attached to this girl and I think the fact she split up with her last long distance boyfriend could see the same happen to you, you will probably meet someone at uni anyway so even though she may be at the forefront of ure mind at the minute, ure feelings will eventually change.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Hmm you are right, just this girl thinks that i cant love her that much if im not willing to go out with her whilst im at uni - but surely u can understand why im feeling this way?!..i'd hate for her to get with another bloke, but its the fact that i have to sacrafice if i dont think its right for us to go out.

She's upset by the fact that i dont wanna go out with her - all of her close friends have boyfriends/girlfriends, and it seems like she likes a guy who likes her, but doesnt wanna go out with her.. and i can completely understand her pov.

We've also been getting quite frisky recently, and there has been times when we could have slept together quite easily but i've been the one (with much difficulty i may add!) to put a stop to it before anything happens as i felt it wouldn't be right and unfair for both of us. It really is a bit of a mess :s-smilie: