Sexual partners

Why would your history stop you having fun at uni?

It's not like you'll be discussing any of this on a ONS at a club anyway.

Reply 2

Kabloomybuzz

How do you mean the list will hunt you down?
How do you think it would stop you having fun?

Reply 3

OP

Original post by Kabloomybuzz

How do you mean the list will hunt you down?
How do you think it would stop you having fun?

no one wants a girls who been with more than 4 guys imagine 11?
ive seen a list that says ; virgin - perfect ; 2guys- ok
the list only went up to 10 and it was unwifeable or hoe.
If i meet a guy in uni , i wont want to stay with him , not to increase my list

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

OP

Original post by Genocidal

Why would your history stop you having fun at uni?

It's not like you'll be discussing any of this on a ONS at a club anyway.

I feel like the more people I sleep with, the less likely it is for me to settle down in the future. Most guys think ive only been with 3/4 guys. But i wanna be able to tell someone the truth , and I feel like they will RUN!

Reply 5

Nobody needs to know how many people you've slept with. Unless you tell them, how would they ever guess?

Reply 6

muzika

11

You lost your virginity when you was 12??? Sorry but that is disgusting. And 11 sex partners its a way to many even for older women

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Reply 7

Genocidal

Original post by younganon

I feel like the more people I sleep with, the less likely it is for me to settle down in the future. Most guys think ive only been with 3/4 guys. But i wanna be able to tell someone the truth , and I feel like they will RUN!

You've already been with enough guys to scare people who don't like that off. You have nothing to worry about on that front.

If anyone really does have a problem with your history, that's their problem and there's nothing you can do about it.

Reply 8

alow

Original post by muzika

You lost your virginity when you was 12??? Sorry but that is disgusting. And 11 sex partners its a way to many even for older women

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Stop being so judgemental.

OP: just don't tell anybody, if you find a new boyfriend by the time you tell them they won't care. I wouldn't not want to be with someone just because of how many partners they've had.

Reply 9

Katie_p

15

Original post by Maid Marian

Nobody needs to know how many people you've slept with. Unless you tell them, how would they ever guess?

Sorry Marian but I disagree with this. Sexual history is of course a very personal matter but I think you should be willing to tell any prospective partner how many partners you have had, or at least give a range - in OP's case, "more than 5" would be the absolute minimum I would be happy with from a partner for covering the truth.

OP, what's done is done. If you are worried that people will judge you by a number, then your choices are a) lie about it, b) deal with the judgement c) try not to increase the number further. If you are comfortable having casual relationships and ONS then go ahead, plenty of people here will tell you that any guy who judges you by a number isn't worth it.
Personally I disagree and think that any guy who judges you by the actions of your 12-16yo self isn't worth it, but if you increase that number to say 25 over the next year, that's a different matter.
If you are interested in relationships, be honest with a guy once you are close enough to him to be so...if he runs, maybe he isn't worth it, and if he stays, no problem. If when you graduate you're at "14" after a ONS and 2 long-term relationships, that's really not too bad. Whilst "50" because you thought you were screwed anyway and slept with a different guy every week or whatever is really quite unnatractive.

Basically, think a bit more rationally about what assumed traits people are judging you on by that number, think whether you reflect those traits, whether you want to reflect them, and have happy sex with as many or as few peole as you want.

Reply 10

Swanbow

What the **** is wrong with that 19 year? I mean seriously, sleeping with a 12 year old? Absolutely disgusting.

Anyhow the list is just something you have created in your mind. If you want to sleep with people at university go ahead, no one is stopping you.

Reply 11

Original post by Katie_p

Sorry Marian but I disagree with this. Sexual history is of course a very personal matter but I think you should be willing to tell any prospective partner how many partners you have had, or at least give a range - in OP's case, "more than 5" would be the absolute minimum I would be happy with from a partner for covering the truth.

But OP said that her sexual history was going to prevent her from having 'fun' at uni. And I was simply saying that no one will know how many people she has slept with unless she tells them, which is hardly important for ONS.

And besides, I disagree in that it's completely up to yourself whether you want to tell you partner how many people you've slept with. I'm not saying to lie, of course not, but if the conversation never comes up, then what's the problem? Unless OP blurts out to everyone that she's slept with loads of guys, then no one will know unless she decides to tell them - and she is under no instruction/rule that says she MUST tell.
It's entirely up to her. Furthermore, I've seen many people say on TSR that they don't care about their partner's sexual history.

Reply 12

User1214833

16

You didn't lose your virginity at 12, you were abused at 12. I'm sure that coloured your views about sex. Have you ever talked to someone about it? Please stop judging yourself - there's nothing wrong with you.

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Reply 13

Katie_p

15

Original post by Maid Marian

But OP said that her sexual history was going to prevent her from having 'fun' at uni. And I was simply saying that no one will know how many people she has slept with unless she tells them, which is hardly important for ONS.

And besides, I disagree in that it's completely up to yourself whether you want to tell you partner how many people you've slept with. I'm not saying to lie, of course not, but if the conversation never comes up, then what's the problem? Unless OP blurts out to everyone that she's slept with loads of guys, then no one will know unless she decides to tell them - and she is under no instruction/rule that says she MUST tell.
It's entirely up to her. Furthermore, I've seen many people say on TSR that they don't care about their partner's sexual history.

The entire fact that it's unimportant for a ONS is why I would never have one. I have overcome my superiority issues with people who do, but I still find it difficult to accept things like this, the complete anonymity involved on either side.

I would never have sex without the conversation coming up, so again I find it difficult to understand the situation where it doesn't. For me, sexual history is very important. I don't think I would ever ditch someone for having several previous partners, but I would ditch them as quick as I possibly could if they lied about it. Just as I'd go to get mutually checked out at a clinic before starting a sexual relationship with anyone.

I agree there's nothing saying she must tell someone, and a lot of people on TSR say they don't care. But I think most would care if they were lied to (not by omission, because if you don't ask, you can't blame someone for not telling).

Reply 14

Original post by Katie_p

The entire fact that it's unimportant for a ONS is why I would never have one. I have overcome my superiority issues with people who do, but I still find it difficult to accept things like this, the complete anonymity involved on either side.

I would never have sex without the conversation coming up, so again I find it difficult to understand the situation where it doesn't. For me, sexual history is very important. I don't think I would ever ditch someone for having several previous partners, but I would ditch them as quick as I possibly could if they lied about it. Just as I'd go to get mutually checked out at a clinic before starting a sexual relationship with anyone.

I agree there's nothing saying she must tell someone, and a lot of people on TSR say they don't care. But I think most would care if they were lied to (not by omission, because if you don't ask, you can't blame someone for not telling).

I never said it was acceptable to lie. Of course it isn't. I just think it's rather weird to blurt something like that out if the other person didn't enquire into it.

I wouldn't ever have a ONS either, but it sounds like the OP does, and as such, her sexual history probably isn't much of a problem for that.

Reply 15

OP

Original post by Maid Marian

Nobody needs to know how many people you've slept with. Unless you tell them, how would they ever guess?

i feel like honesty its an important part of a relationship . how can I be with someone and not tell them something like that

Reply 16

OP

Original post by muzika

You lost your virginity when you was 12??? Sorry but that is disgusting. And 11 sex partners its a way to many even for older women

Posted from TSR Mobile

Thanks , you told me something i didnt know

Reply 17

Mankytoes

10

Original post by muzika

You lost your virginity when you was 12??? Sorry but that is disgusting. And 11 sex partners its a way to many even for older women

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Don't be a ****, by UK law she got raped by a peadophile.

OP, if I were you I wouldn't tell anyone this stuff until you felt really close with them.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 18