Same friendship group as ex, but I can't be his friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
My ex broke up with me as he no longer wanted a relationship and while I was initially devastated, after a couple of months I'd began to move on. I deleted and blocked contact with him everywhere I could (except blocking his number) in order to move on, and we agreed to speak again when I was ready (I was struggling to get over him otherwise). Recently I received angry, abusive messages from him telling me I was the worst mistake of his life and he wishes he ended things sooner, and that he never wanted to speak to me again. I'd already blocked him so I'm not sure why he thought I was going to or what sparked his sudden outburst. So I said okay and left it, the next day I woke up to more messages from him. I apologised (for nothing?) and said I didn't want to argue, hoping he would then be civil but his response was to say he wasn't arguing with me, he was just telling me what a vile person I am.

He's suddenly gone from saying he'd always love me and never wants to stop being friends to acting like that with no explanation? I can't have done anything because I wasn't even speaking to him before he messaged me. I've since found out how to block his number so there's no way I can get more messages, but we're in the same friendship group/group Facebook chats and it's just really tense because we won't be able to hang out as a group like before because I want nothing to do with him, and I don't really want to compromise on that after how he's treated me. I hate feeling responsible for breaking up our friendship group and also don't really want to turn our friends against him because of how he acted, but I really don't think I want to be around him anymore.

Should I just man up and try and forget what he said for the sake of our friends?
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DCFCfan4eva
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My ex broke up with me as he no longer wanted a relationship and while I was initially devastated, after a couple of months I'd began to move on. I deleted and blocked contact with him everywhere I could (except blocking his number) in order to move on, and we agreed to speak again when I was ready (I was struggling to get over him otherwise). Recently I received angry, abusive messages from him telling me I was the worst mistake of his life and he wishes he ended things sooner, and that he never wanted to speak to me again. I'd already blocked him so I'm not sure why he thought I was going to or what sparked his sudden outburst. So I said okay and left it, the next day I woke up to more messages from him. I apologised (for nothing?) and said I didn't want to argue, hoping he would then be civil but his response was to say he wasn't arguing with me, he was just telling me what a vile person I am.

He's suddenly gone from saying he'd always love me and never wants to stop being friends to acting like that with no explanation? I can't have done anything because I wasn't even speaking to him before he messaged me. I've since found out how to block his number so there's no way I can get more messages, but we're in the same friendship group/group Facebook chats and it's just really tense because we won't be able to hang out as a group like before because I want nothing to do with him, and I don't really want to compromise on that after how he's treated me. I hate feeling responsible for breaking up our friendship group and also don't really want to turn our friends against him because of how he acted, but I really don't think I want to be around him anymore.

Should I just man up and try and forget what he said for the sake of our friends?
Have you actually asked him why the sudden change?
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Cyndy
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My opinion would be to just let him be.
You don't need that group of friends . Try to make a new one.

It will get to him later and he will come around. The outburst is probably from anger of noticing your absence. Block him off Facebook.
Keep in touch with the friends of his who want to stay friends with you but don't force it , by this I mean don't pick yourself to stay in the cycle of friend and don't go out with them on every outings or handouts.
I will repeat for you to try a new cycle of friends.
See how it goes and try to think out of the box and forget about him.
Just saying
Good luck


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Old_Simon
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You can edit your Facebook chat groups.
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Studentus-anonymous
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You can hang out with your friends without having him around surely?

You may have to be proactive and invite them (but not him) but that'll be the way it is.

If it comes up just point out his ****ty behaviour and explain that's why you're no longer interested in having him about you.

Don't even make anyone chose, simply arrange social meets as said that doesn't include him.

as long as he's still going to the hang-outs that normally occur he can't complain, and you can still go to them, you don't have to talk to him.


With any luck if he is such a little **** then sooner or later the friends will prefer your company to his and he'll just slowly fade away as your hang-out time becomes the primary social tool for the group minus him.
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