Am i straight or just scared of intimacy?

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Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
Since i was 16 i thought i was straight. I had a huge, intense crush on a guy for years, but then i realised i never imagined us being intimate (i asked my friends and they all said they imagined everything).
So immediately i assumed i was gay and watched The L Word. I felt so happy and i started to find myself crushing on girls.
I have a crushes on girls and fantasize about some, but the crushes i have don't last long and aren't very strong. With guys, it's the opposite. I have a few crushes but they're intense and last a long time.
I've wanted a girlfriend for ages (or a boyfriend if we have a connection).
I've had attention from two guys and i thought 'i could get my first kiss out the way' but i wasn't attracted to them at all and it felt gross even thinking about it. (One was unattractive/completely average looking, the other was a bit better but they were both clingy after literally a few minutes of talking)

But i went to a gay bar last night and two girls said i didn't look gay. I was terrified that one girl would kiss me in case i realised i didn't like it and was straight. But it could also be because i'm never been kissed and i'm dreading my first time in case i'm awful.

Last night i felt like i was straight but i wanted to be gay. For years i've been fine calling myself bisexual, but i don't want people to think i'm something i'm not. I do have crushes on girls, but with guys they're stronger. But i'd rather be with a girl.

I really don't know :/ Could i just be straight with gay fantasies?
Anonymous #2
Report 8 years ago
There are obviously loads of other relevant threads as well but this one might be a little helpful.

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