Summer fling?

I'm currently working on a summer programme with an american girl who is good looking, wicked personality and seems ideal girlfriend material. Since the start we've always been hanging around together, becoming close in a matter of a couple of weeks. Yet I'm not sure how far she wants to take things. The first night we talked for ages about random stuff. She mentioned she had a boyfriend back in the US, but didn't eloborate. Since then we've been spending lots of time together and seem to get on so well. She hasn't mentioned the boyfriend since. We went clubbing last night and ended up grinding. She seemed really into it, and if it was a British girl I would have gone in for the pull. As such I left it due to the boyfriend and not knowing whether that would be acceptable to American girls anyway. The way we were dancing said to me that she wouldn't have minded. She also only spoke to me all night and made a point of dissing another girl who fancied me in a way that would put me off her.

Basically, the signs are there and I want to go for it, but the boyfirend comment is freaking me. If I do make a move and it goes tits up, then won't it be rather awkward for the remainder of the programme?

Reply 1

DoktaUH

11

Think positive rather than negative, if all goes well.. it'll continue "going well" for the rest of the program :smile:

Reply 2

zav

14

Well i can see you like her a lot but she does have a bf.
If you don't mind having a bit of fun with her then she goes back and you forget about her then i suppose you can do that.
On a moral level though she does have a bf and it depends how much you like her. Your not going to realistically have a long term relationship with her so maybe complacating her's is unfair?

Its up to you mate but if you think there is a chance you will feel guilty i wouldn't bother.

Reply 3

ZigZag

11

If you were the boyfriend in America, I doubt you'd like some guy in England making advances on your girlfriend in the knowledge that you existed.

I'd stay away.

Reply 4

sparkle86

11

How much longer till the end of the programme?

I would wait till the end and tell her how you feel. I wouldnt let her go without her knowing how you feel as if you dont say or do anything, then you'll probably be saying "what if" for a long time which is horrible. Say you know she has a bf and dont want to make things difficult for her but you wanted her to know how you feel so then she can decide for herself what she wants to do.

If she wants to take things further, make sure she ends it with her bf in America first before you get into anything. If she just gets on really well with you but doesnt like you in that way then say sont worry its cool, i hope we can still keep in contact and be friends. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to.

Hope this helps.

Let us know how you get on. Also, whats this summe rprogramme thing that you're doing?

Karen x

Reply 5

username47781

20

Well she won't have you anymore than a bit on the side if you do attempt to go further with her, and i'm sure her boyfriend would be less than impressed.

Reply 6

mooseisabunny

If it is left until the end of the summer, if she odes reciprocate, you are screwed because she will be off home!
Talk to her now, if shes not interested drop it and carry on as before. if she is....... it's all good :smile:

Reply 7

bret

OP

12

Update.

We went clubbing again on Wednesday. This time she said before we went out that she really enjoyed the previous night. I held her hand on the way to the club and we kissed all night. Waking up in the morning and things were not awkward.

Since then we've seen each other every day for hours, and it has since become an open secret that we are together. The trouble is that in two weeks she is going home , and so the thread moves from how much of a chance I have of starting a fling with this girl, to how to deal with it now that it's happening.

The obvious response would of course be to enjoy it while it lasts, but I've honestly never met a girl quite like her and she feels the same.

Cheers for any advice.

Reply 8

username47781

20

I really think she should just dump her boyfriend even if she does decide to have a long distance relationship with you, because even if its just a fling someone will still get hurt.

move to america?

She wouldn't be 'ideal girlfriend material' if she were to cheat on her boyfriend with you..

Reply 11

janesmith

hahahahha to the ideal gf material. but maybe she could be. but can u really get close knowing shes going home to someone else soon. i think u like the thrill and that shes not a local girl she offers something different

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

bret

I'm currently working on a summer programme with an american girl who is good looking, wicked personality and seems ideal girlfriend material. Since the start we've always been hanging around together, becoming close in a matter of a couple of weeks. Yet I'm not sure how far she wants to take things. The first night we talked for ages about random stuff. She mentioned she had a boyfriend back in the US, but didn't eloborate. Since then we've been spending lots of time together and seem to get on so well. She hasn't mentioned the boyfriend since. We went clubbing last night and ended up grinding. She seemed really into it, and if it was a British girl I would have gone in for the pull. As such I left it due to the boyfriend and not knowing whether that would be acceptable to American girls anyway. The way we were dancing said to me that she wouldn't have minded. She also only spoke to me all night and made a point of dissing another girl who fancied me in a way that would put me off her.

Basically, the signs are there and I want to go for it, but the boyfirend comment is freaking me. If I do make a move and it goes tits up, then won't it be rather awkward for the remainder of the programme?

The boyfriend comment was created because she was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable and didn't want to be too easy. A classic anti-slut defence. Don't worry about it.

As for kissing, it's really not that big of a deal. There was no base 3 stuff, so she's going to go home and get on with her life. What was that B*witched song called? Oh yes, c'est la vie.

Reply 13

SJ No.18

1

I thought he said he woke up with her in the morning, so i'm guessing they did more than kiss.
Bret you sly old dog you :wink:

Reply 14

zav

14

i was thinking that... but maybe they didn't.

bret care too inform ?

Reply 15

El Scotto

15

bret

I'm currently working on a summer programme with an american girl who is good looking, wicked personality and seems ideal girlfriend material. Since the start we've always been hanging around together, becoming close in a matter of a couple of weeks. Yet I'm not sure how far she wants to take things. The first night we talked for ages about random stuff. She mentioned she had a boyfriend back in the US, but didn't eloborate. Since then we've been spending lots of time together and seem to get on so well. She hasn't mentioned the boyfriend since. We went clubbing last night and ended up grinding. She seemed really into it, and if it was a British girl I would have gone in for the pull. As such I left it due to the boyfriend and not knowing whether that would be acceptable to American girls anyway. The way we were dancing said to me that she wouldn't have minded. She also only spoke to me all night and made a point of dissing another girl who fancied me in a way that would put me off her.

Basically, the signs are there and I want to go for it, but the boyfirend comment is freaking me. If I do make a move and it goes tits up, then won't it be rather awkward for the remainder of the programme?

So shes got a boyfriend? and? where is he?

I personally believe in the philosophy, that if a girl cheats... the relationship isnt all that good anyway. Just do the girl for the lads. lol

Reply 16

Helenia

20

Biffy Clyro

She wouldn't be 'ideal girlfriend material' if she were to cheat on her boyfriend with you..

What's to say she won't do the same again?

Reply 17

kennyboy

Just enjoy yourself with her. If she did have a bf back home, then maybe she feels different about that now, maybe you'l end up with along distance thing, or maybe it will be a summer fling and never see her again. At the end of the day you just gotta go at it full, live every day you have with her to the max and enjoy yourself. Otherwise, at the end of the summer you will be kicking yourself for missed opportunities!

Reply 18

zav

14

El Scotto

So shes got a boyfriend? and? where is he?

I personally believe in the philosophy, that if a girl cheats... the relationship isnt all that good anyway. Just do the girl for the lads. lol

Ha funny i would rep you but ive used mine today

Reply 19

squigaletta

Helenia

What's to say she won't do the same again?

whats to say she will, if she does feel strongly for you maybe its the one time she will do it in order to have the thing that she should end up having...make any sense?

Summer fling?

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