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i feel like a terrible person

My best friend just got asked out by a lovely guy we know, and I honestly could not be happier for her in a rational sense, but I feel so, so unhappy. Both my best friends now are dating people, and I just found out a couple of days ago that the person I've liked for two years is ****ing someone who's only been out of a relationship for a month. And I'm still coming off a horrible, soul-destroying breakup from a short relationship (the only one I've ever had).

I feel like the most selfish, horrendous person to ever walk this earth. I should be happy for my best friend, right? And yet I'm crying. And she was so, so lovely about it when she was single and I was in said short relationship, and I should be just as happy for her...I just feel so terrible that I can't be happy for her.

What do I do?
Reply 1
Original post by paradoxicalme
My best friend just got asked out by a lovely guy we know, and I honestly could not be happier for her in a rational sense, but I feel so, so unhappy. Both my best friends now are dating people, and I just found out a couple of days ago that the person I've liked for two years is ****ing someone who's only been out of a relationship for a month. And I'm still coming off a horrible, soul-destroying breakup from a short relationship (the only one I've ever had).

I feel like the most selfish, horrendous person to ever walk this earth. I should be happy for my best friend, right? And yet I'm crying. And she was so, so lovely about it when she was single and I was in said short relationship, and I should be just as happy for her...I just feel so terrible that I can't be happy for her.

What do I do?


You are not a terrible person. Only human. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Reply 2
Keep calm, and have more wine.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 3
This is normal. I've felt this sort of angst and I guess most everyone has had a spot of selfish jealousy at a friends good fortune - particularly with regard to relationships. The fact you are rationalising it and supporting you friend outwardly makes your honourable. Don't worry and try not to be down, your day will come!
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Scott.
Keep calm, and have more wine.


Posted from TSR Mobile


I wish, but the only wine we have in the house is cooking wine and tastes like sheet metal. :tongue:
Reply 5
Original post by paradoxicalme
My best friend just got asked out by a lovely guy we know, and I honestly could not be happier for her in a rational sense, but I feel so, so unhappy. Both my best friends now are dating people, and I just found out a couple of days ago that the person I've liked for two years is ****ing someone who's only been out of a relationship for a month. And I'm still coming off a horrible, soul-destroying breakup from a short relationship (the only one I've ever had).

I feel like the most selfish, horrendous person to ever walk this earth. I should be happy for my best friend, right? And yet I'm crying. And she was so, so lovely about it when she was single and I was in said short relationship, and I should be just as happy for her...I just feel so terrible that I can't be happy for her.

What do I do?
You are totally not being selfish, it's natural to feel that way, especially following your first breakup. I had a full-on nervous breakdown a month after my first breakup, when all the emotion came to a head - and I'm known for having a strong resolve.

I know it's silly saying it, but try to think about other things, try to keep busy. Maybe even talk to other guys, just remind yourself that they're there.
Lonely people are allowed to feel bitter and ****ty about it. Your fine.
Reply 7
Why does everyone find that being single is such a bad thing? I mean, relationships are no doubt good, but being single is not as horrific as people portray it to be.
Reply 8
You're really, really not a horrible person at all. It's so completely natural to feel like that sometimes, everyone does even if they try and mask it. I'm sure you'll find a really lovely person yourself in time, but there's never any point rushing things, and at the end of the day you just have to try and be happy yourself, and see anyone else who comes along as a bonus really! If you ever just want a chat feel free just to inbox me :smile:
Original post by SoftPunch
Why does everyone find that being single is such a bad thing? I mean, relationships are no doubt good, but being single is not as horrific as people portray it to be.


I know! I've never minded being single, and until I had the short relationship I never wanted one (and tbh for the second half of the short relationship I didn't want one either :tongue:) but since I broke up with him I'm just craving a relationship. I'm a pretty affectionate person...and also kinda weird, so not many people like me :tongue: But yes, I agree, being single isn't usually bad at all.
Reply 10
Original post by paradoxicalme
I know! I've never minded being single, and until I had the short relationship I never wanted one (and tbh for the second half of the short relationship I didn't want one either :tongue:) but since I broke up with him I'm just craving a relationship. I'm a pretty affectionate person...and also kinda weird, so not many people like me :tongue: But yes, I agree, being single isn't usually bad at all.

Yes, I am in relationship now, which is all good. (hopefully it won't be short-term, as it seems just such a waste) Though I've never complained when I was single! :tongue:

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