Muslim in NEED of advice!!

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Anonymous #1
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tl;dr at the end. I couldn't find another place to post this anonymously.

Where do I even begin? I'm a Muslim (or I'd like to think I am) and accept that there is one God & Prophet (PBUH) be his last an final messenger.

So my problem.. I'm not a good Muslim, essentially. My egoistical ideologies get the better of me. I advocate Islam however (similar to a hypocrite) I'm reluctant to practice what I preach and it brings me to tears. This morning I was giving Dawah to another student where I study and it dawned on me that half the things I preached I didn't even do. Simple things such as praying 5 times a day is a struggle. Not that I can't, rather I can't be bothered and feel to accept the fact that I can't do much more than feel sorry for myself. All I want from life is to essentially attain paradise but materialistic desires have such an impact on my focus.

I am reluctant to even read the Qur'an as whenever I do end up reading it (once in a blue moon) I immerse myself in tears and dwell on the concept of being destined to hell. I know I wrong myself in not committing to the obligatory practices but I just don't know what to do anymore. Some months, I pray everyday & night but most times the only prayer I attend to is the Friday Jam'ah. I constantly make Du'a and ask for forgiveness but I have no intention of changing my ways.

I suppose I want to do good and be a good Muslim however I just can't and have no excuses other than I can't be bothered. I unintentionally came across a video earlier which moved me to tears and made me think about the little time we have on this earth. Usually I stay away from listening to Islamic lectures as I just feel upset with myself afterwards but yet know they are the one thing that can keep me motivated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pWdCOFomnA

I wouldn't say I'm a bad person as such but what's the point in being good if I don't adhere to Islam, what will be the destination of a person such as myself.. 'a hypocrite'? It's difficult living a society where everything around me is Haram. The internet, TV, outside even girls at school.. do I even stand a chance? I'm going to be starting university soon and there's a real chance that if I don't rectify my ways it might lead to a worsening in my Imaan. I know "Allah guides whom he wills" but I'm really not looking to be misguided.

I guess what I'm asking is what advice would you give to a person in my situation as I do want to be a good Muslim. It's not that I have no knowledge in Islam because I do. I come back to Islam constantly in times of struggle but when it's over It's like I don't care. I only kid myself and I'm tired of it, I don't want to end up in hell and I'm in dire need of some advice on keeping motivated. I understand TSR ain't the best place to post this but Insha'Allah there's a lot of Muslims on this site and I will try taking your advice into consideration.

I know a few others in my position and hopefully this can help those too. I want Islam to be fundamental in my life and define me as a person. I understand no-one's perfect but to not follow the 2nd pillar of Islam yet give Dawah about just shows how hypocritical I am.

Sorry for the long post. Jazak'Allah Khayr in advance.

tl;dr: I'm Muslim and need advice on how to stay motivated on the religion. Advice from Muslims would be most welcome.

I have no intention of leaving Islam, btw.
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Steezy
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My advice would be - stop forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do, or stop making yourself feel bad for not doing weird superstitious things.

If God existed I doubt he'd require you to stroke the floor 5 times EVERY DAY.
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DaveSmith99
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Read this, then go and enjoy your life.
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faketitle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I advocate Islam however (similar to a hypocrite) I'm reluctant to practice what I preach.
I have that problem too. :-(
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faketitle
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Also, advice #1: Post about your troubles with Islam on TSR. (Don't.)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by faketitle)
Also, advice #1: Post about your troubles with Islam on TSR. (Don't.)
There are a quite a few Muslims on this forum so I thought it might be of some use. The people saying 'leave Islam', I don't take note off so it doesn't phase me.
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ArsenalObsessed
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Salam akhi I think it would be a good idea if you posted this on the isoc because that's where you'll be able to get the most help. You'll have to come off anon though (I think)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ArsenalObsessed)
Salam akhi I think it would be a good idea if you posted this on the isoc because that's where you'll be able to get the most help. You'll have to come off anon though (I think)
That's the thing, I'd rather not. I understand the I-Soc is equipped to deal with such issues however, I'd rather I stay anonymous.
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ThatMuslimGuy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
xxxx
AsalamuAlaikum!

I think what your speaking about is a problem that we all face. Including myself.

That we advise and know what Islam teaches. But in our actions we contradict our speech. We make mistakes and dont always practice what we preach.

But it is due to us not being perfect. That we all make mistakes.

Anas (RAA) narrated that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:
“All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent often.”

[At·Tirmidhi (2449) and Ibn Majah (2451) with a strong chain of narrators. Bulugh Al-Maram Book 16, Hadith 1477]

I think its about improving ourselves in steps. First establishing the prayer. etc

And also reminding ourselves that being a good person is very important.

Abu Ad-Dardh narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
"Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer."

[At-Tirmidhi Book 27, Hadith 2134 Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)]

I duno what else to advise really. :-/. Apart from just trying to improve who are as a person and as a Muslim.



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ilikesweets
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Asslamualaykum,
First of all, it's great that you acknowledge the issue. Some live in denial and think the world of themselves which is much more dangerous in my opinion.
Acknowledging the problem is the first step to solving it i suppose

Anyways, I think something that needs to be extablished is that Islam isn't an easy way of life. No one said it was, by submitting to Allah we have chosen a path that will be constantly challenged and we will always be surrounded by people who want to take us away from the path. But, as the Quran says, "With difficulty comes ease."

I think we all have points in our lives where our desires and laziness get the better of us, no doubt about it. Let's remember, it's the struggle that Allah rewards us for, it's how we turn to him even though we are being dragged away that makes us true servants of Allah.

I believe, praying, recting Quran, practicing what we preach, comes when we truly mean it. If we are sincere in our preaching, we will be sincere in practicing it. Yes, it's much easier to talk, but when we say speak from the heart and belief, rather than sounding good, we want to practice it.

A beautfiul narration goes something like "If you want to speak to Allah, go and pray. If you want Allah to speak back to you, recite the Quran."
If we really do want to be closer to Allah, we would not want anything else but to always be in contact with him. I think we should just take that one step in making that intention and trying, and Allah will take ten steps towards us and grant us ease in doing it.

It all comes down to true intention and as you mentioned, motivation. That's the tricky part. Being bothered to do it and keeping determined. Determination will only come when you truly want it.

As this video explains, it's literally 2 minutes long, quite insparational too I suggest you watch it, it tends to give me a shove in the right direction when I need it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDoOyq5myRg
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ArsenalObsessed
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(Original post by ThatMuslimGuy)
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To build on what TMG said: It's important to want to change, however don't be *too* hard on yourself to the extent where you think there is no hope. We are all human and therefore we are conditioned to make mistakes, and Allah knows this of course, and he is the Ever Merciful. Don't underestimate His mercy.

Try to take it in steps. Try improving your prayer first, I think once that is in check then everything else becomes easier. Use your prayer to try and become closer to Allah, and then everything should slowly but surely work out after that. Don't forget your dua. Never underestimate it's power. Keep making dua that Allah makes this easy for you, and it will happen.
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Monkey.Man
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(Original post by Anonymous)
tl;dr at the end. I couldn't find another place to post this anonymously.

Where do I even begin? I'm a Muslim (or I'd like to think I am) and accept that there is one God & Prophet (PBUH) be his last an final messenger.
why do you believe in god?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ThatMuslimGuy)
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(Original post by ilikesweets)
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(Original post by ArsenalObsessed)
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JazakhAllah Khayr for your input. May you all be granted Jannatul Firdaus.

(Original post by Monkey.Man)
why do you believe in god?
Not really looking to debate God's existence in this thread.

Simple answer: I haven't a reason not to, for me the Qur'an speaks for itself.
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Monkey.Man
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Simple answer: I haven't a reason not to, for me the Qur'an speaks for itself.
how
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ph0t0n
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There's nothing really specific you can do in my opinion you just need to have the desire and drive to make yourself a better muslim. What I find helps is talking to others about islam and surrounding yourself with practising muslims- this can be achieved by attending a mosque. Most universities also have islamic societies which would help you to keep on the right path InShahAllah. May Allah guide you and grant you jannah.
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username883747
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As salaamu alaykum

akhi al kareem, remember that it is only natural for imaan to increase and decrease and it was even in the time of the companions of rasulullah that they used to sit with him and remember death but once they left him they began joking and laughing and a companion amongst them feared hipocrisy for himself. so the recognition that you do need to fix something is always a huge step forward!

please see these two links

http://www.islamicawakening.com/view...?articleID=177

http://forums.islamicawakening.com/f...n-faith-19567/

and remember you brothers and sisters are here for you at the islamic society http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...454&p=46228663
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Bellflower
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One of the nastiest things about Islam is how good it is at terrifying people with hell, so that they submit both their minds and bodies.

You're not a bad person because you find a ritual prayer tedious and dull.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Simple answer: I haven't a reason not to, for me the Qur'an speaks for itself.
Yet you don't seem to enjoy reading it?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Bellflower)
One of the nastiest things about Islam is how good it is at terrifying people with hell, so that they submit both their minds and bodies.
Being terrified of hell is what makes me want to do good and seek out advice, rather than willingly seeking out evil.

(Original post by Bellflower)
You're not a bad person because you find a ritual prayer tedious and dull.
More so a matter of losing hope.

(Original post by Bellflower)
Yet you don't seem to enjoy reading it?
It's not that I don't enjoy reading it. I love reading it it's just whenever I do I submerge myself in tears. It's difficult to explain if you haven't experienced it yourself. It's somewhat shameful to be reading the book of your creator, feeling as if you're undeserving of that status.
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Bellflower
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Being terrified of hell is what makes me want to do good and seek out advice, rather than willingly seeking out evil.
You should give your own conscience more credit. Being terrified of hell only causes unnecessary anxiety and makes it harder to think rationally. What evil have you caused by not keeping up with ritual prayers?

More so a matter of losing hope.
Why have you lost hope? Do you feel like you're too much of a procrastinator, maybe? Has this seeped into other aspects of your life, like your school work?

You mentioned in the OP that you can't be bothered with prayers. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. Salah is monotonous; it's almost impossible not to have your mind wonder a bit whilst going through the motions. There is also nothing fun about dragging yourself out of bed at 4am.

It's not that I don't enjoy reading it. I love reading it it's just whenever I do I submerge myself in tears. It's difficult to explain if you haven't experienced it yourself. It's somewhat shameful to be reading the book of your creator, feeling as if you're undeserving of that status.
Reading the Quran is considered a good deed though, and you seem to want more of those, no? No one is considered undeserving of opening a Quran (unless they're on their period ofc :rolleyes:).

You said in the OP that reading it makes you dwell on hell. Being terrified of hell is obviously causing you more harm than good.

-

If god would really send someone like you to hell then he doesn't deserve anyone's salah.
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Tootles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
tl;dr at the end. I couldn't find another place to post this anonymously.

Where do I even begin? I'm a Muslim (or I'd like to think I am) and accept that there is one God & Prophet (PBUH) be his last an final messenger.

So my problem.. I'm not a good Muslim, essentially. My egoistical ideologies get the better of me. I advocate Islam however (similar to a hypocrite) I'm reluctant to practice what I preach and it brings me to tears. This morning I was giving Dawah to another student where I study and it dawned on me that half the things I preached I didn't even do. Simple things such as praying 5 times a day is a struggle. Not that I can't, rather I can't be bothered and feel to accept the fact that I can't do much more than feel sorry for myself. All I want from life is to essentially attain paradise but materialistic desires have such an impact on my focus.

I am reluctant to even read the Qur'an as whenever I do end up reading it (once in a blue moon) I immerse myself in tears and dwell on the concept of being destined to hell. I know I wrong myself in not committing to the obligatory practices but I just don't know what to do anymore. Some months, I pray everyday & night but most times the only prayer I attend to is the Friday Jam'ah. I constantly make Du'a and ask for forgiveness but I have no intention of changing my ways.

I suppose I want to do good and be a good Muslim however I just can't and have no excuses other than I can't be bothered. I unintentionally came across a video earlier which moved me to tears and made me think about the little time we have on this earth. Usually I stay away from listening to Islamic lectures as I just feel upset with myself afterwards but yet know they are the one thing that can keep me motivated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pWdCOFomnA

I wouldn't say I'm a bad person as such but what's the point in being good if I don't adhere to Islam, what will be the destination of a person such as myself.. 'a hypocrite'? It's difficult living a society where everything around me is Haram. The internet, TV, outside even girls at school.. do I even stand a chance? I'm going to be starting university soon and there's a real chance that if I don't rectify my ways it might lead to a worsening in my Imaan. I know "Allah guides whom he wills" but I'm really not looking to be misguided.

I guess what I'm asking is what advice would you give to a person in my situation as I do want to be a good Muslim. It's not that I have no knowledge in Islam because I do. I come back to Islam constantly in times of struggle but when it's over It's like I don't care. I only kid myself and I'm tired of it, I don't want to end up in hell and I'm in dire need of some advice on keeping motivated. I understand TSR ain't the best place to post this but Insha'Allah there's a lot of Muslims on this site and I will try taking your advice into consideration.

I know a few others in my position and hopefully this can help those too. I want Islam to be fundamental in my life and define me as a person. I understand no-one's perfect but to not follow the 2nd pillar of Islam yet give Dawah about just shows how hypocritical I am.

Sorry for the long post. Jazak'Allah Khayr in advance.

tl;dr: I'm Muslim and need advice on how to stay motivated on the religion. Advice from Muslims would be most welcome.

I have no intention of leaving Islam, btw.
You sound like you just like the title of being a Muslim. But maybe you should talk to some more established Muslims in your area, in person - maybe talk to the leader at your local mosque.

Also, you've posted this in the wrong place; relationships with one's chosen deity aren't really the topic area for this part of the forum, this place is for personal relationships between people who aren't divine in nature or origin.
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