Criminalizing Pet Ownership Watch

abusername
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#1
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Pet ownership is a threat to the planet and our officers should organize a crack down on this disturbing trend. Thankfully, many of them already are, by shooting any animals that they see on sight.

Objectives of the criminalization of pet ownership:

1.) The environment. Pet ownership presents a threat to the cleanliness of our water supply. These animals ****, and that **** is carried via drainage in to our creeks and our rivers. This harms fish, it harms wild non-amphibious animals, it harms humans and it even harms the land.

Pet ownership requires the production of food, vaccines, medicines, toys, etc. This is a senseless waste of precious natural resources.


2.) Safety.
An untold number of people are the victims of attacks by pet (or former pet) animals. These attacks are totally unnecessary, and they are often fatal when provoked against the elderly or small children.


3.) Health. This ties in with the safety issue. Animals are not as sanitary as human beings, even when properly groomed. They are predisposed, by nature, to harbor more bacteria and more viruses than we. Just recently an Oregonian pet owner contracted the Black Death from one of his cats. The Black Death, like rabies, staph infections and all of the other ailments associated with animals could be more effectively thwarted if we orchestrated a nation wide holocaust for pet (or former pet) animals.

4.) Public sanity. Many pet owners are childless and, for them, these animals provide for them a sense of parenthood (something that all people crave). Still, for those who aren't childless, the pets are often considered as members of the family, as if they were human beings. This emotional attachment to these worthless ****ing animals is a societal absurdity.

5.) Restoring order. Animals, particularly dogs, are disorderly and loud. This noise pollution is a source of great anger for many citizens. Killing dogs would eliminate a significant source of anger for the country.



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emerset
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I laughed out loud at your public sanity conclusion: "This emotional attachment to these worthless ****ing animals is a societal absurdity".

If you're preparing a debate motion than I would suggest leaving that unfounded and easily refutable claim out of your speech.

However, I'm pretty amused at your post, you gave a better argument than I could have given. Of course you are basing your argument on a nanny-state default, so you'd have to defend that as well. LMAO.
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abusername
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This is not a complex social problem that needs to be solved by PMSing and protesting in the streets. It is as simple as killing the animals.
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emerset
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"Killing dogs would eliminate a significant source of anger for the country." Hahaha

...You know it's interesting to note that my university's Mental Health branch organizes a dog-petting anti-stress day in our Great Hall for every finals week. Public Sanity I rest my case!
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aranexus
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Hope it isn't punishable retroactively :rolleyes:
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russellsteapot
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Isn't it more fun when you make up your own controversial posts? Copying them from other forums and pasting them here can't possibly be entertaining, can it?

As for the topic, I do actually think most pets are pointless, annoying or both. But I don't like golf either. And I don't want to ban golf.
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omfgblackpeople
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kill all animals i say
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PerArduaAdAstra
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You're on a (t)roll with these threads.
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Scumbaggio
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(Original post by abusername)
Pet ownership is a threat to the planet and our officers should organize a crack down on this disturbing trend. Thankfully, many of them already are, by shooting any animals that they see on sight.

Objectives of the criminalization of pet ownership:

1.) The environment. Pet ownership presents a threat to the cleanliness of our water supply. These animals ****, and that **** is carried via drainage in to our creeks and our rivers. This harms fish, it harms wild non-amphibious animals, it harms humans and it even harms the land.

Pet ownership requires the production of food, vaccines, medicines, toys, etc. This is a senseless waste of precious natural resources.


2.) Safety.
An untold number of people are the victims of attacks by pet (or former pet) animals. These attacks are totally unnecessary, and they are often fatal when provoked against the elderly or small children.


3.) Health. This ties in with the safety issue. Animals are not as sanitary as human beings, even when properly groomed. They are predisposed, by nature, to harbor more bacteria and more viruses than we. Just recently an Oregonian pet owner contracted the Black Death from one of his cats. The Black Death, like rabies, staph infections and all of the other ailments associated with animals could be more effectively thwarted if we orchestrated a nation wide holocaust for pet (or former pet) animals.

4.) Public sanity. Many pet owners are childless and, for them, these animals provide for them a sense of parenthood (something that all people crave). Still, for those who aren't childless, the pets are often considered as members of the family, as if they were human beings. This emotional attachment to these worthless ****ing animals is a societal absurdity.

5.) Restoring order. Animals, particularly dogs, are disorderly and loud. This noise pollution is a source of great anger for many citizens. Killing dogs would eliminate a significant source of anger for the country.



I would like this guy to explain why he is not a worthless ****ing animal?

Filthy American pig.

Although that is harsh on pigs.
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Studentus-anonymous
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Worthy effort, 7/10.

You could have scored higher but it was just too absurd and ultimately missed the mark.

But you did make your points concisely.
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