My head is all over the place and "luck" isn't helping.Watch
Anyway, about 6-7 months ago a girl started working at the pub I work at who was in an LDR with a guy in another country. I decided I liked said girl but as she was in a relationship I conditioned my behavior around her to "flirtatious at best." However after a month she dumped said boyfriend and became single. I decided I actually liked her and thus didn't do anything as I didn't want to be a ONS or jumping in her boyfriends grave.
Anyway a month and a bit ago one a work night out we drunkenly got together and she stayed round my house. In the morning I just went for it again to show it wasn't the alcohol. We then proceeded to spend the rest of the week meeting up, having a lot of fun and sex. Then she dropped the bombshell. She was moving to Germany for 3 months on placement. We'd only been "seeing" each other for a week so the natural assumption was to drop it, keep in contact and start it up again when she got back.
Anyway for the first couple weeks we were messaging a fair bit but now its gone cold so my mind was a bit messed up from that. Anyway a group of my friends course mates (Im close with them) invited me out and due to the messed up mind...I proceeded to get drunk and get with one of them. This girl is not my type at all and I completely regret doing it.
Moving on, it turns out that another one of that group actually quite likes me and I've liked her for a long time but never done anything about it due to my mate "loving her" and introducing me to her. Seeing me get with her course mate must have pushed her towards telling me as at the weekend she revealed it to me that she does quite like me. I just grabbed her and kissed her and thus we made plans to go on a date.
Then the twatness of luck fell onto us and she's fallen ill. Due to the first girl just disappearing and such my mind is all over the place. I suffer from paranoia and anxiety which is sometimes so bad my brain feels like its compressing so all of this isn't exactly helping.
I know it sounds selfish but I just want my brain to calm down. It really does hurt sometimes, I'm well known in my family to be a classic over thinker too. I just want that sort of thing to stop.
What I really want is to just forget the girl that moved to Germany and to focus on the second girl as she is so beautiful and lovely. (She is however ridiculously shy/quiet especially with boys she likes. She told me so when she told me she liked me and that "You'll have to be the one to initiate everything, I'm weird like that, I just can't do it.") so now I'm wondering when I should re initiate.
Just ask her out? Give her a call or next time you see her have some plan of somewhere to go. She's said she likes you so you know she will say yes.
I'm more looking for advice on how to deal with those issues rather then asking girls out. I find asking girls out easy as ****, maintaining it and not overthinking/getting paranoid/whatever is difficult as hell to me tho.