Post Uni - Relationship Sell By Date

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I’m 21 and a student at university in Gloucestershire, where I met my boyfriend who was in the year above. We have been together for over a year now - the happiest relationship I’ve had since an incredibly difficult ‘coming out’ in a small town Norfolk.


He’s the third boyfriend I’ve had, and he is by far the nicest person I know. He’s kind, patient, funny and loving - frankly, I don’t deserve him. But he somehow sees something in me, so I just count my blessings.


I’m in the final year of my degree, and things are going very well. I worked really hard in my second year and managed to get onto a graduate scheme over the summer in London. This was a brilliant experience to be at the top of my game, and I loved being in the capitol with him (he lives just outside of Gloucestershire). I worked really hard on the scheme, and I was offered a brilliant job which I am incredibly grateful for. So when I finish my degree in June I’ll be moving down to London - which is where the issue lies.


He graduated a year before me and has struggled to find a job. He struggled forever to get a part time job in a shop, spending most of his free time trying to apply for jobs and graduate schemes in London.


We had always planned to live in London after we graduate, and I had set my heart on it. I was looking forward to the little things - like being able to sit next to him on the bus, tube surfing at the weekends and pretending to be trendy in places like Soho.


But he’s not having much success. He’s had a few London based interviews, but none have led anywhere. He has, however, had greater success applying to companies outside of London - like Macclesfield (which seems a long, long way away).


He’s slowly coming to realise that London may not be an option for him, which leaves me incredibly upset. I couldn’t face doing a long distance relationship - seeing him once a month would just remind me of how lonely I’d be. But the thought of parting ways and not being with him is even less appealing. I feel like I’m stuck in a hard place.


Bluntly it feels like our relationship has a sell by date and will expire when he eventually gets a job outside of London. He keeps applying for positions in the Greater London area, but it doesn't seem to be going very well.


I know I should just try and enjoy the time we have together now, and I know we are young and naive but that doesn't make me feel any less upset. I’m feeling really worried about our future that it’s really stopping me from being happy with such a perfect man. Situations seem to be pulling us separate ways, and it’s really, really sad. I worry for England (like my mother) and it’s making me become disillusioned and down.


I would talk to my parents about this - believe me, I would love to - but they’re far from tolerant and refuse to acknowledge that I’m gay, let alone have a boyfriend. If you could give any advice or comments I would be really grateful. I know we are young and have hardly lived, but I’ve been so happy with him that I don’t want to lose him.


Thank you for your time in reading this - I am very grateful.


Yours,


Jake (studying in Gloucestershire, hailing from deepest darkest Norfolk)

0
reply
Zarek
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
I would say enjoy now and see what the future holds. Something may yet work out for him in London and anyway a weekend relationship is not the end of the world. My gf and I did this for a couple of years, her in London, me in Suffolk before we decided to travel and then live together. A weekend relationship has pluses as well as negatives. Two places to visit, Fridays and holidays are superb. Sundays not so great mind.. Who knows maybe your relationship will run its course, but equally it may thrive through the changes. Good luck. By the way, isn't Gloucestershire and London a breath of fresh are after Nolfolk. I found East Anglia good for a while but then I had to escape.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#3
(Original post by Zarek)
I would say enjoy now and see what the future holds. Something may yet work out for him in London and anyway a weekend relationship is not the end of the world. My gf and I did this for a couple of years, her in London, me in Suffolk before we decided to travel and then live together. A weekend relationship has pluses as well as negatives. Two places to visit, Fridays and holidays are superb. Sundays not so great mind.. Who knows maybe your relationship will run its course, but equally it may thrive through the changes. Good luck. By the way, isn't Gloucestershire and London a breath of fresh are after Nolfolk. I found East Anglia good for a while but then I had to escape.
I suppose that's all I can do, really. It just feels really futile knowing that things are probably going to be over in a few months.

And Norfolk is alright to grow up in, but once you hit 18 you realise how dull it is. Also nobody knows where it is - most people at uni thought that it was somewhere up North. Cringe.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How would you describe the quality of the digital skills you're taught at school?

Excellent (37)
9.79%
Okay (110)
29.1%
A bit lacking (140)
37.04%
Not good at all (91)
24.07%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise