Scared to face my mom. I think I've hurt her.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I'm in a mess, and I'm really looking for some advice.

So, Wednesday night me and my partner of 5 years had an argument. She went to her friends and I said I'm leaving. Was a spur of the moment anger thing. I wanted her to walk back and sort the problem out, but she left for a few hours to get space.

I actually called my mom and asked if she can get my uncle to come and pick up my stuff. I packed my valuables, my uncle came with the van and I left. My girlfriend came down to sort it out, and I was gone.

I woke up the next morning and thought "WTF have I just done!". My girlfriend sent me a message saying she was so hurt by what I did. Anyway, I explained my feelings to her, and how what I did was totally out of order. We agreed I stay at my moms until Saturday and think about my problems.

Throughout all this my mom didn't know I was talking to her. My mom dislikes her, and said I am better off without her. She told all my family that me and my girlfriend are over for good, and everyone was telling me that I done the right thing.

I couldn't bare to tell her that I was going back home Sunday. I didn't know what to do. So Sunday morning at 6am before everyone was awake I got up and grabbed a taxi back home. I left everything in my moms attic, and just took my laptop.

I messaged my brother and said "Tell mom I love her so much and I am sorry if my actions hurt her. I am too scared to face her. Please tell her I'm sorry and I love her".

And since then I've not been on Facebook. She's sent me a message, but I can't bare to open it. I feel like I've betrayed her hospitality and kindness. She's such a good mom and is always there for me, but I know how she feels about my girlfriend. So it makes it hard for me to say anything to her.

Now she's likely sitting there thinking "What have I done wrong to him" or thinking "He's took the piss!".

Now I don't know what to do. I am upset that I can't talk to her and explain to her. I'm upset that I feel like I'm being forced to ignore her. She's been there for me through a lot of hard times.

Please, I need some advice.
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Harri2648
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Get in contact with your mum asap!!! she won't hate you if you explain everything to her!!! I highly recommend you get in contact!!!
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_jake_
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Sounds like you should listen to what you're family are saying. If something is wrong with the relationship, sometimes your family can see it when you can't. Read the message.
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sjaan
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Just remember you only have one mum. Once you lose your mum, you will never get her back.

But your girlfriend on your other hand...
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The Owl of Minerva
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Read her Fb message and tell her how you feel. Shes your mom. She will understand.
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MrsMars
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Your mum is the only peson who you will never be able to replace.
Besause of the love she has for you, (i assume) that she won't have said anything spiteful to in that message.
Go and open it. Read what she said. You might regret not having read it earlier infact.

Mums always know best.
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Musie Suzie
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I agree that you should heed your family's dislike of your girlfriend - there's probably a good reason for it.

Start by reading her message. If it's too hard to reply, send a link to this thread.

Posted from TSR Mobile
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Mechie
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(Original post by lilangel217)
Your mum is the only peson who you will never be able to replace.
Besause of the love she has for you, (i assume) that she won't have said anything spiteful to in that message.
Go and open it. Read what she said. You might regret not having read it earlier infact.

Mums always know best.
Lolno to the bolded part.

OP, you've done nothing wrong. It's your mum's problem if she told people you were over for good prematurely. Just tell her that you're back together with your girlfriend and if she doesn't like it then that's her problem.
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brownbearxo
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I find it hilarious that all these people have disregarded a 5 year relationship for "mum knows best". Hilarious.
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MrsMars
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(Original post by Mechie)
Lolno to the bolded part.

OP, you've done nothing wrong. It's your mum's problem if she told people you were over for good prematurely. Just tell her that you're back together with your girlfriend and if she doesn't like it then that's her problem.
Each to their own.
I'm talking from my own experience, and you from yours.
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username944192
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Can I just ask how old you are? Your Mum doesn't control you, I'm sure if you really want to be with this girl she will get over it.
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Welsh Bluebird
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Whenever my parents disapprove of my girlfriends I then try to take an outsiders view of our relationship for the next week or so. I've often found it helps me identify things I wouldn't have if I was all loved up and caught up in the moment of it all. Honestly, it can be the wake up call or kick up the backside you need.
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Mechie
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(Original post by lilangel217)
Each to their own.
I'm talking from my own experience, and you from yours.
If you're admitting that mums "know best" depends on your experience with your mum, why the hell are you giving him advice to do with his mum when you have no experience of his mum? You can never give someone the advice of "mums know best", exactly according to what you've just said, you only know your own experiences.
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desdemonata
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Your mum shouldn't have gone around saying you were over for good.

Read her message. Whatever she says, keep in mind that it's your girlfriend, your choice. If she disagrees that just means they won't be best buddies.

And you also might want to tell her that next time, she should wait until things definitely ARE over before she says anything.
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