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tricky....

if he's reserved with you, then maybe so because he has a girlfriend thus doesn't want and/or feel the need to interact with you on a more intimate, cheeky, open, flirtacious manner - he doesn't wish to give wrong intentions/impressions. Then there are the ones who have a girlfriend/s and still do all this nevertheless - they're called err 'players'?? something like that...

the lack of presence of a 'love ring' = you're in there :biggrin:

If he generally comes across as an open character, plenty of eye contact, smiling, blushing, charming perhaps - there's a good chance he's single because otherwise he 'probably' wouldn't be behaving in such an open stance manner, neither wanting to indulge in such intimacy or needing to....

I'm sure there are clever ways of eeking out the information you want, i.e. when chatting to this bloke, if you chat politics or geography for instance, ie "i've (or my family) have/has just been to mount abu in northern India (just lie through your back teeth), celebrating their 25th wedding annivarsary, coincidentally a beautiful location for indian honeymooners, as a couple wishing to re-ignite the romance in their marriage they found the experience extremely gratifying...." - then he could comment, just be subtle, there are ways of eeking out information, spy work...TSR is full of intelligent (and masterfully deviant) people, yourself included, at least on the former count, so you shouldn't have a problem!!!
Reply 2
I know you said without asking anyone but heh I play the usual "oh its a shame *insert his name* couldnt make it..I guess he is with his girlfriend/wife/mistress/gay patner" and the usual answer is "yes" or "noooo *his name* is single" and then you can do a secret mental victory dance :biggrin:
Hmmm...

I am giving him a lift to work tomorrow, but obviously eye contact isn't on the cards, since I'll be driving. It's a tricky one. I barely know the guy.
ask him how his girlfriend is in casual conversation?
none of us know how well you know this guy, if not so well, simply ask him if he has any brothers and sisters, and maybe this question about family will lend itself towards him mentioning or not mentioning whether he has a current girlfriend....
Apricot Fairy
...whether a guy is single without being too obvious and without asking anyone else?


I've done this before. Just ask where his girlfriend works/studies/lives...one of those things should come up in conversation.
thats the best way as shady lane mentioned
Usually it comes out if you ask questions to which, if he's likely to have a girlfriend, he's going to have to mention her.

"Who are you going on holiday with?", "who were you with when you did this or that"
"Who do you live with?". When he mentions that he lives with 2 housemates, you ask him "so you live in a bit of a bachelor pad?" or "so it's a bit of a lad's place?" then ask him if any girls come round...

:wink:
But it's basically the same as just coming straight out with "Are you single?"

Oh this is such a tricky problem! If you just say, "Do you have a girlfriend?" and they say yes and it sounds like you're interested, then you look stoopid.
Apricot Fairy
But it's basically the same as just coming straight out with "Are you single?"

Oh this is such a tricky problem! If you just say, "Do you have a girlfriend?" and they say yes and it sounds like you're interested, then you look stoopid.


it's not only what you say but how you say it, but then again, maybe you're not so good an actress, maybe your act is rather transparent...so rather than coming across as wholly indirect, you come across as all too unintentionally direct.

we don't know what the background is to your friendship/relationship, we don't know how well you know him and him with you, if you know him well you maybe can pick up certain mannerisms of his which could indicate various things...

none of us can reallygive you advice until we have a clearer picture.
Apricot Fairy
But it's basically the same as just coming straight out with "Are you single?"

Oh this is such a tricky problem! If you just say, "Do you have a girlfriend?" and they say yes and it sounds like you're interested, then you look stoopid.


No, have a look at my reply babes. Of course you have to improvise... he might say "Well I live with my parents", to which you reply "so no girls are allowed round?"...
Don't just come out with "are you single?" or "where's your girlfriend studying?". That's too obvious, and potentially embarrassing for you if he does indeed have a girlfriend.

I'd just skirt around the topic, with questions like "so who do you socialise with?" or "what are your friends like?".

Something like that anyway...you know what I'm trying to say.
i once asked a guy when he last had sex XD
high priestess fnord
i once asked a guy when he last had sex XD
Haha way to put the poor boy on the spot...

If a girl asked me that whilst we were in a car, which she was driving I think I'd suddenly become a tad worried.
Ask him if his girlfriend would be up for a threesome.
Apricot Fairy
...whether a guy is single without being too obvious and without asking anyone else?
I like to ask women directly. :biggrin:

Seriously. I'll slip in an "are you single?" with a cheeky glint in my eyes whilst she's babbling. And I just do it for fun sometimes, don't even need to be interested - if that's the case, she'll get the message when I don't get contact details later.
white_haired_wizard
it's not only what you say but how you say it, but then again, maybe you're not so good an actress, maybe your act is rather transparent...so rather than coming across as wholly indirect, you come across as all too unintentionally direct.

we don't know what the background is to your friendship/relationship, we don't know how well you know him and him with you, if you know him well you maybe can pick up certain mannerisms of his which could indicate various things...

none of us can reallygive you advice until we have a clearer picture.


I've spoken to him about three times, ever. And I'm told I can be pretty transparent...
Reply 18
Theres no way, whatever you ask, it'll seem like "thats" what you're asking.
x.narb.x
Theres no way, whatever you ask, it'll seem like "thats" what you're asking.


Exactly. All these are so obvious, you might as well just out and ask him.