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When is it the right time to tell someone you love them?
I think before you have ever fallen in love with someone, it's fairly common to have some idea of what is an acceptable amount of time for such a thing to take to happen is. I suppose some people would say it can happen really quickly, whereas others think it takes months, or perhaps years to build up their idea of love.
Personally I felt that it must take at least six months to know whether you feel so strongly about someone. Probably longer. My boyfriend and I both agreed on this point in passing conversation in the first few days of being together, in fact.
But now, here we are after three months or so... and if this isn't love, then I don't know what is. I'm loathe to tell him, because if he doesn't feel the same I might scare him off and that would be the worst thing I can imagine. Do you think it's worth holding on, even though I want to shout it from the mountain tops, or should I just say it?
Personally I felt that it must take at least six months to know whether you feel so strongly about someone. Probably longer. My boyfriend and I both agreed on this point in passing conversation in the first few days of being together, in fact.
But now, here we are after three months or so... and if this isn't love, then I don't know what is. I'm loathe to tell him, because if he doesn't feel the same I might scare him off and that would be the worst thing I can imagine. Do you think it's worth holding on, even though I want to shout it from the mountain tops, or should I just say it?
Tell him
idiopathic
Tell him
Agreed
That's why trying to rationalise things like that before you get in a relationship is a bad idea - you just don't know how you're going to end up feeling. You should say it when you feel it; if your relationship is strong and it's meant to be, then it will be fine, even if he doesn't say it back immediately.
Who knows, he may be in the exact same situation.
I was in exactly your situation to be honest (well not exactly, as I'm male!) and I'd say that first be absolutely sure you want to tell them. Picture yourself doing it and them not saying it back so you're prepared. If you think it's worth the risk and you're sure then go for it!
At the end of the day there's no official acceptable time so if you think it's been long enough then it has.
And for the record, I eventually told my girlfriend when we were in Paris together after 5 months... and she did say it back!
At the end of the day there's no official acceptable time so if you think it's been long enough then it has.
And for the record, I eventually told my girlfriend when we were in Paris together after 5 months... and she did say it back!
Its different sometimes.
Like me and my gf have only been together 7 weeks, and weve just gotten through the most rough period you can imagine. We were seconds from splitting up at the worst of it purely cos we couldnt handle the pressure of fighting to stay together.
Then we settled our differences, which were merely based on worries and insecurities, and then after going through all that to keep her, it just hit me like that.
I knew we'd gone through so much in a ridiculously short timeframe, and knew that i appreciated her so much more after nearly losing her.
So i told her i loved her, and to my total surprise she'd been wanting to say it to me but was too afraid cos she didnt want to mess things up when they were still in the 'stages of recovery'
So yeah. Wait until it feels right, but i think any stage in the relationship is right as long as u wait as long as u possibly can before u say it. Hold it in as long as possible, cos its a special word. Its worth the wait!
Like me and my gf have only been together 7 weeks, and weve just gotten through the most rough period you can imagine. We were seconds from splitting up at the worst of it purely cos we couldnt handle the pressure of fighting to stay together.
Then we settled our differences, which were merely based on worries and insecurities, and then after going through all that to keep her, it just hit me like that.
I knew we'd gone through so much in a ridiculously short timeframe, and knew that i appreciated her so much more after nearly losing her.
So i told her i loved her, and to my total surprise she'd been wanting to say it to me but was too afraid cos she didnt want to mess things up when they were still in the 'stages of recovery'
So yeah. Wait until it feels right, but i think any stage in the relationship is right as long as u wait as long as u possibly can before u say it. Hold it in as long as possible, cos its a special word. Its worth the wait!
It's weird that friends say it to each other all the time. When I say it to (girl) friends, I do mean it, as in I care about them and would be devastated if we were no longer friends.
If you mean it, then say it. If you don't then don't. Simple really.
TELL HIM!!!! Asking when the right time is, is like asking how long is a piece of string! If it feels right to you then tell him!
just say it after sex
idiopathic
It's weird that friends say it to each other all the time. When I say it to (girl) friends, I do mean it, as in I care about them and would be devastated if we were no longer friends.
yeah we can say it about our friends so easily, i think for some reason with lovers we seem to make some sort of attempt to rationalise it.....maybe. perhaps its the whole thing about being told by everyone else that having those feelings so early is childish etc which is silly really since friendships can develop to a great intensity over that time period so why not relationships
Tell him. If you scare him off by telling him you love him after three months he's not worth it. He may not be ready to say it back to you straight away so don't expect anything.
Or he may be wanting to say it to you as well and is, like you, too scared to say it. Take the initiative and tell him first, guys can't always be expected to make the first move.
Or he may be wanting to say it to you as well and is, like you, too scared to say it. Take the initiative and tell him first, guys can't always be expected to make the first move.
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