The Student Room Group

What Makes Marriage Successful?

Inspired by a film I've watched recently. I've read (or heard, can't remember) that just love is not enough. This point of view supports the claim that there are 3 components to a successful marriage:

love
time for each other
space for each other (e.g. own flat)

Money isn't on the list, but it is behind the time and space factors - if the couple are slaving away on 2 jobs to earn a living there won't be time for a relationship to develop, and if they live at someone's parents house where anyone can walk in at the worst time asking stupid questin, "Have you seen my scissors?". You don't need to be rich, you don't even need to be well off, but you need to have time to be with each other and a place for that, and money very often determines that. I'd add (like many people, surely)

communication
trust
something in common to grow together
willing to make it work

That's right, not "hoping it will work" but willing to make it work. I think the most talked about problem (in the society) is communication, and it help build up trust. There could be a couple of behaviour factors:

faithfulness
paying attention to one another

So, which do you think are most important and why?
Reply 1
In the words of H Simpson "The problem is communication, too much communication"
Reply 2
I think most the factors are important that you put.

Top 3 would be
1. love
2. Trust / Faithfulness (one really comes with the other kind of thing)
3. Commuication
Reply 3
A bit deep for H&R. :smile:

All of those things, but also understanding and patientce. Understanding that if he wants to go out on a lads night it doesn't mean he's off to another womans house. You have to give people their own space and their own time to do their own things and be themselves. You may be a couple, but people still have individual needs.

Not being afraid to say 'sorry.'

Not sweating the small stuff. Who cares that he drops wet towels onto the bed, or that he leaves rubbish everywhere? It's pretty small in the grand scheme of things, so why fight about it?

Support each other. No matter what. Even if you think they're being stupid and outlandish, you are each others rock and a person to bounce ideas of off, a person who comforts them. Always support them.

Know about each others faults and flaws, accept them and love them more for it.


So I think all of your points are important, and that a marriage can't really work if one is missing.
Seeks
I think most the factors are important that you put.

Top 3 would be
1. love
2. Trust / Faithfulness (one really comes with the other kind of thing)
3. Commuication



Think thats the best way to put it
Reply 5
Very well said BlackHawk... have some rep
Seeks
Very well said BlackHawk...

:ditto: :tsr2:
Reply 7
Thanks :smile: (Can you tell I'm getting married soon?! :p: )
Reply 8
BlackHawk
Thanks :smile: (Can you tell I'm getting married soon?! :p: )

Last ill say of it because I dont want to hijack the thread. But good luck with that :biggrin: (serious btw, sometimes the net brings across the wrong idea)
Reply 9
BlackHawk
Thanks :smile: (Can you tell I'm getting married soon?! :p: )


And how long have you known your current partner?
Reply 10
BlackHawk
Thanks :smile: (Can you tell I'm getting married soon?! :p: )


Yep and good luck with it, by the sounds of it you will have a great marriege
NViasko
And how long have you known your current partner?



Erm quite awhile! I'm a bit older than some on TSR so I'm allowed to get married. :wink:
Reply 12
Yes, Good luck indeed.