Orgasms and masturbation

Hi there,

I don't have anyone else to ask about this, so I turned to your support. When I was younger, I was sexually assaulted by my nephew and my sister's older boyfriend. Now, when I have sex, I can't seem to orgasm and I was wondering if the rape I went through when I was younger, has made me defective?

I've tried masturbating, and sure I can get excited, but I can never orgasm. I want to know if there's something wrong me, that's all...

:confused:

Reply 1

Glory

1

some people just cant orgasm. But maybe you have a mental barrier stopping you from doing it.

Have you ever spoke to someone about your experience, a councillor or a professional of some sort.

Reply 2

Helenia

20

After the rape, were you physically checked out, or does nobody know?

It's highly unlikely that enough physical damage was caused to make it impossible to orgasm, as Glory says it's much more likely to be a psychological barrier. Some people can't orgasm through penetrative sex or by masturbation but can by other means. It might be worth considering psychosexual counselling?

Reply 3

Logan

4

women need to be mentally attuned if they want to orgasm... men on the other hand, as perverts, just need plain stimulation and thats it. U might wanna have a chat with a psychologist

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

No, never spoken to anyone; there's no point really. Imagine telling a stranger all that? No thanks. Impersonal questions like these are fine, because you don't know me, can't see me and can't think any less of me. I mean to say, I am over it and all of that rubbish but sometimes it just gets me. Usually after sex, and once I'm alone, I'll just cry like an idiot until I snap myself out of it.

A "psychological barrier" may be what's stopping. I guess I just need a hammer now, huh?

Reply 5

Helenia

20

Anonymous

No, never spoken to anyone; there's no point really. Imagine telling a stranger all that? No thanks. Impersonal questions like these are fine, because you don't know me, can't see me and can't think any less of me. I mean to say, I am over it and all of that rubbish but sometimes it just gets me. Usually after sex, and once I'm alone, I'll just cry like an idiot until I snap myself out of it.

A "psychological barrier" may be what's stopping. I guess I just need a hammer now, huh?

Surely that shows you're not all over it though? If it still makes you cry, regardless of whether you can "snap out of it" or not, there's help you could get.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Helenia

Surely that shows you're not all over it though? If it still makes you cry, regardless of whether you can "snap out of it" or not, there's help you could get.

I think that's more me being stupid and soft, if I'm honest. And talking to someone about it, just.. I don't know. It makes me twitchy. And uncomforable and overall scared.

Reply 7

dirty_pretty_thing

I was raped when i was younger, it does make new relationships hard, but with a bit of time, trust in the new partner and talking to someone you trust really helps. You can PM me if you like in total confidence.

Reply 8

Jaynie

if you go to your local family planning clinic they usually can help with psychosexual problems and they are used to people telling tem all sorts as I think it would be really very good if you could talk to someone

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

If you goto your GP or local health centre (you dont even need to tell them the whole story, just that you're vaguely having some problems) they will give you people you can talk to in detail, often anonymously like this but over the phone. There are people out there who will want to listen and will want to help you and they won't think you're being silly or won't think any less of you whatsoever.

You've made one step talking about it on here so that's good. At least try and think about talking to someone else. Believe me, no one will look down on you etc. Believe it or not, in this world there ARE good people who are willing to listen to people's problems and help them out.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

To be fair, half the girls i know cant orgasm sexwise. So its not a rare problem that wise.

Masturbation i know one girl who cant and another who needs to wear knickers to otherwise it dont feel right.

Reply 11

minicoopa

1

I agree... some of my friends were so suprised that other girls find it so easy to orgasm. It takes time... to you feel you come close to climaxing but then it just 'goes away' or you never come close... (excuse the pun)

It's not your fault.

This could be a symptom of a wider problem, possibly affecting things like intimacy. I've had similar problems before, and it really helped after I saw a psychiatrist.

I urge you to see a medical professional about it, sometimes you may think its not something a professional can help you with, but trust me, it is.

Feel free to PM me or dirty_pretty_thing, if you aren't confortable with a professional just yet. This may be a wider problem

Reply 14

fuglyduckling

2

Definitely not your fault. Ring up an anonymous phone helpline and just tell them everything (they won't know your name, where you live etctera, and they are better qualified to give advice than us). :smile:

Orgasms and masturbation

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