Age differences, what is acceptable?

Hey there,

Okay, I'm not sure how much the thread title explains (as I couldn't think of a way to phrase it) but as an older female is it frowned upon to date someone younger?

For example, one of my best friends is 18. He's a very sweet, funny guy with a heart of gold, probably more mature and has a head screwed on more than most, and is great to talk to.

Thing is, I'm a 29 year old female. I'm not particularly saying I would date him in particular, as much as he's awesome I respect our friendship a thousand times more and I think personally in my mind I would find it sort of young BUT I'm curious to probe others minds as to whether it's considered acceptable?

It sometimes seems like guys can have the upper hand here, as a younger female dating an older guy isn't always considered a bad thing, but a younger guy dating an older female looks bad on the female perhaps?

I'm not even sure, just curious really. I personally was wondering if a relationship is fine if both people are on a similar mental level?

obviously it's true that people at such a young age may not fully know their wants, needs and desires and probably are in a different place, but it's something I've never really considered before and though it sounds weird, I'm interested to know others opinions.

Reply 1

Exon

Lower limit =

\dfrac{n}{2} + 7

Where n = age of older person

* - guideline, not rule

Reply 2

Alfissti

As long as both parties are happy and know how to make it work then there isn't anything to stop the relationship.

Reply 3

Mohamed Jama

I've like older girls and vice versa I don't think age is a problem as long as both are over 18

Jennifer Lopez (45) is dating a a 25 year old

Reply 4

farhantahir786

As long as his age is not visible on a clock......

Reply 5

GenialGermanGent

Guy should never be younger, but at least 2 years older. I'm 6 years older than my girlfriend and it feels perfect.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Difficult.

I'm 20 and female. And, I would say that currently even I would find the thought of dating someone 9 years older than me a little strange. But then I'm thinking if I was for example, 25 and I was wanting to be with someone who was 36, I wouldn't find the age difference as noticeable?

I think because he's still in his teens, it sounds much bigger than it would if he was a few years older.

I suppose until you're put in that situation, it's difficult to truly judge. If you fall in love with someone, then the age isn't something you can help (before people comment - I strictly mean legal relationships!!). I assume you get to know the person before you know their age. For example, at work , my first question to people isn't 'how old are you?', I get to know them and age doesn't initially enter my mind.

My final opinion: An age gap I'd be comfortable with for me would maybe 18-25. But if I met someone who was either slightly younger than 18 OR older than 25, I'm not sure how I'd feel about it? But I think if I met someone who was 29 and told me they were dating an 18 year old, I wouldn't know how to react. :eek:

Reply 7

S1elyak1

My ex boyfriend was nearly 2 years younger than me but were really close on the maturity scale and I often forgot how young he was. As long as you're both happy does it really matter who's the oldest?

Reply 8

Zarek

Original post by Exon

Lower limit =

\dfrac{n}{2} + 7

Where n = age of older person

* - guideline, not rule

This is a very sound guideline and should serve to keep angry fathers (or mothers) from your door or prevent you from being a laughing stock.

Reply 9

TheBigJosh

If her age is on the clock, she's too young for cock. And judging by the mess some of the people are on my Facebook, that should be a digital clock!
But seriously, I personally think anything more than 8-10 years is a bit weird - that's with adult couples. These weirdos that are 19/20 and dating a 14/15 year old is awful.

Reply 10

Nia Okz

I am 21 and my partner is 32, similar age gap between my parents (who've been married for 30+ years), my friends have large age gaps in their relationships as well, although its always: Girl < Boy.
I wouldn't frown upon it if it was the other way round, as long as the older person is not taking advantage

Reply 11

FreyaParker

Thanks for the replies :smile:

Very mixed bunch of opinions haha. Seems the general consensus is that it's not the done thing normally, which is obvious I guess, but I'm curious about if you're on a similar level of mentality, does that age become insignificant?

I don't know, he's 19 this year so it's about 10 years difference, which *sounds* a lot in all honesty, but we're both on the same level in terms of the way we see the world it seems.

I find it hard to meet people of my age on the same sort of level as me so perhaps I'm just weird :P

Reply 12

Jezebelle

I'd say the issue is if a woman wants children dating a significantly younger man isn't a great idea. Men can afford to wait until the younger partner is ready but depending on their age women often can't.