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Tired of the world revolving around her

Usually I get on well with one of my friends in our group but its started to annoy me lately that everything has to be on her terms. It always has been too. Its like we cant go out anymore unless its ok with her and she never seems to want to take anyone elses life and commitments into account.

The other day we were planning on going to the cinema. We were originally going to see a certain film, but then she decided to go and see it first with her boyfriend. So then when we were organising the time to meet up etc, she just said "oh we cant see that now. I've already seen it". And everyone else seemed to be ok with it which annoyed me! They were like, "oh ok. what else is on?" even though everyone really wanted to see this film.

The other night we wanted to go clubbing and she kind of took over and said "well i cant make it all of next week, so we'll have to meet up on a day that we can all make it. I'm busy monday so it'll have to be tuesday."

I'm annoyed about this coz she never seems to think that other people in the group might be busy then too. I mean, I have to work all of tuesday so I'm gonna be so tired in the evening when we go. I''m really fed up with her, how can I talk to her and make her see that she has to compromise sometimes and the world doesnt revolve around her? Whats more annoying is, none of my other friends seem bothered! What should I say?

Reply 1

Tyler Durden

These things tend to resolve themselves naturally; either she is not integral to the group in which case people won't listen to her, or, as the case seems to be, your friends feel they won't have a good time without her there and thus let her dictate what happens.

Reply 2

woeful_infatuation

i know exactly how u feel
have also got a friend like that.. everything she says goes.. it annoys me alot and we can never go out unless she has time
ahhhh...
not much u can do about that i'm afraid.. except maybe 'dump' her and get better friends..

Reply 3

squigaletta

i have a friend like that, the way i deal with it is to just put my foot down, take control before she can but have the control in a more liberal way, so before she can say i cant make it monday, il say ok whose busy and when next week, and then i can make arrangements which include her but take me n every1 else into account

Reply 4

slk999

she sounds pretty self- obssessed. just ask your other friends what they want to do and tell her to fit round the groups plans, not hers.

Reply 5

Montrose

I have lots of friends like that. You will ask them if they want to meet up, and they say they will, but then they decide they have a better offer and cancel, which makes me feel insignificant to be honest. I've tried raising the point with them, but all it ever turns into is them accusing me of being selfish, and somehow, I always end up as the one apologising.

I have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is grit your teeth, bear it, and carry on being a happy smiley person. It won't go un-noticed by other people that you go out of your way for your friends and that you're nice to everyone. It can be a pain in the butt, but stick with it!

Reply 6

zain88

Aaarrrgghhh, I used to have a friend like that!! And it drove me insane!! If there was a few of us standing talking and one was saying something really important or personal, as soon as this girl walked into the place she would interrupt and start saying something completely rubbish and everyone would start to have a conversation with her. Needless to say they aren't my closest friends anymore.

To the OP: are you at uni or school/college? Because I'm hoping I'll have friends who respect each other and be much more mature when I'm at uni and I won't have to deal with something like this.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Yeah I've just finished college so hopefully when I go to uni, things will be different. It'll just be an annoying summer until then lol

Reply 8

Nix!

You know the easiest thing would be to turn around and say "Well, that's your fault." and watch the damn film anyway. If I was with my friends, the 'troublesome' individual would be under no illusions that they'd end up watching the film again.

She does it because you let her, it's as simple as that.

Reply 9

Bluelight

I have a friend like that, a group of us had all seen charlie and the chocolate factory (about 6 of us) and we all had to watch it again because my friend wanteds to. %^*&*$ so annoyed.