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Scared to leave home..?

People I know are on here :wink:

. Also not sure if it's the right section.

So basically, I'm 22 and living at home. I lived in uni halls during first year, with my partner briefly during second year (I ended up messing things up and moving back home - but we're fine now) and commuting for the remainder of second year and the whole of third year.

Since graduated, I have stayed at home, but have spent a lot of time at my partner's (roughly 40% of the time at the moment).

I have been saving up to buy a flat since I graduated, and now I am at the stage where I have enough of a deposit to go for it - but something keeps stopping me.

I get on absolutely brilliantly with my Mum, and she's like my best friend. Living at home with her is just like I imagine it would be to have a house share with a best friend, so it seems a bit odd that I would want to move out. But, at the same time, my partner and I want our relationship to move forward, and that's clearly not possible while I'm still living in the family home.

I love where I live. The little village is amazing, our house and garden are beautiful (much better than I'll be able to afford) and I've lived here for the whole of my life. Other than living in halls, which I always knew would be temporary anyway, I've never lived anywhere else.

I don't really know how to explain it, but the thought of this house not being "home" makes me want to cry. Like, when you get back off holiday and you get that amazing feeling when you're "home"? I just can't imagine that place being anywhere else other than here.

Also, thinking that I might never get to spend another night in my bedroom (that I decorated myself and built all of the furniture for) makes me want to cry, too.

Every memory that I hold close to me is in this house. Whenever I think of Christmas, birthdays etc, all memories are in rooms of this house. I love sitting watching TV in the evening, cooking in our kitchen, showering in our bathroom.. and leaving it feels absolutely horrible, even the thought of it.

I am determined NOT to let it hold me back, though. I do get excited about owning my own place - but then get scared when I realise that it means moving out of this home. I will miss my family a lot. Me and Mum gossip whenever we're both at home, and it will be odd not having that anymore. I know I will still get to see them, and they can come and visit me as well (and it will be great to have proper independence - I love that side of things when I'm staying at my boyfriend's) but the thought of not living here, in the house that I have always known and loved, for what feels like no good reason.. it just scares me!

I often think that I'm paying the price now for having such a good relationship with my family. If I hated them, and we got on each other's nerves, I would be excited to move out - just like my friends seem to be who still live at home. But because I'm so happy here, and can spend plenty of time with my partner, it feels like a very difficult step.

Does anyone else feel like this? And do you perhaps have stories to help put my mind at rest?

Reply 1

cupcakes87

are you a guy or a gal??

might help when i form an annwer

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by cupcakes87

are you a guy or a gal??

might help when i form an annwer

Girl

Reply 3

cupcakes87

Original post by Anonymous

Girl

cool

see i am a girl and i have this fear of leaving my mum because i feel so sheltered and protected when i am with her.
She looks after me like i am a little baby still and i dont mind it at all. What worried me the most is that when i go to uni the little things i rely on my mum for will leave me in a bit of a mess.
I think maybe that attachment to your mum is what is holding you back more than anything.
i think you just have to make our heart stronger and go for it :biggrin: