What will you be doing over the Easter break? >>

How to make a friendship more "physical"

Well, I have been friends with this person for 11 years now... we have been apart for long periods of time and went to different schools, we have been in different towns for a bit too, but we have always kept in touch. Only I have noticed we don't have that physical part to the friendship I have with all my other friends, eg hugging, grabbing etc ... and i just fear that starting acting like that all of a sudden would be weird, since it's been this way for a few years now...
also I happen to have a crush on this person, so if you have any advice there, also welcome :biggrin:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Be careful.
I was in a similar situation with a girl who I knew really well and had a huge crush on, and we hung out together loads, but she didn't like me in that way, and it turned out badly. We get on well still, but she is very cautious and it's not the same.
Someone else when I spoke of this matter before it all went wrong said that I was "too far up the wrong ladder" in terms of the relationship we had.

This may not apply to you, as she may in fact actually like you back that way, but be careful about it is all I'm saying, you don't want to break so many years of friendship.

Reply 2

A Frumious Bandersnatch!

anon is right - you have to initialise friendly "touching/physical contact" straight away in a friendly relationship if it's not to be weird; otherwise she'll be thinking "hold on a second! what's with all this Sudden touching!?"

just bear that in mind for later life...

Reply 3

SJ No.18

What type of person is she? is she touchy feely with her other friends? it might just be her way of acting around people. If not then indeed they're might be something there.
If you really feel strongly then you should go for it an let her know how you feel because there's nothing worse than being friends with someone you really like, fuc* all the "don't ruin the friendship" brigade.

So go for it and let us know how it goes

Reply 4

SamTheMan

Wait a sec. People are all touchy-feely with friends because it doesn't mean anything, not because they secretly fancy them. If you're hoping that by becoming touchy-feely, you'll be in with a chance of getting more physical contact, you're mistaken.

It could really turn nasty: if she becomes fine with the touchy-feely bit, then you might end up enjoying that part too much, secretly imagining you're with her while she won't think anything of it.
The other possibility is that she will just be weirded out by this whole new behaviour.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I agree with this above post.
I felt like I was totally in with that girl; we had evenings out planned for just the two of us (because at the time we both huge deadline, and after we would celebrate together). I felt like I was going out with her for a few weeks before I screwed things up.
She got really upset when things came out in the open, and it was really weird and awkward. (although things came out in a bad way when I got drunk and she was there)