Writing messages on dating websites

I'm a girl in my mid twenties and i recently signed up for a dating website because I'm finding it difficult to meet guys where I live. I'm new to online dating so I'm not really sure what's expected.

Is it normal that some guys wanna need up after a day or two? Would automatically assume that they're not interested in a serious relationship?

Also what are you supposed to write to someone in a first message? A lot of people just say 'Hi' or tell me that they like my pictures which makes me think that the message a lot of other girls too but I'm not really sure what to say to a guy when messaging them.

Also is it better to get back to some if you're not interested or is it better to ignore them? A guy seemed really angry at me because I told him that I didn't feel that we had anything in common. I try not to ignore people if they make an effort rather than just saying 'hi, how are you' but I feel like I might have offended him.

Don't bother with the ones who just say 'hi' or sleezy comments about pictures, they're probably just playing the percentage game (badly) my messaging lots of people. You should only respond to someone clearly making an effort.

First message should be short but light hearted. Comment about something they've writen in their profile, and throw in a question or two so they have something to open with too. Never begin with an essay, and never respond with messages way longer than they've sent you as it does seem a bit OTT/desperate.

I wouldn't say that wanting to meet up early is a bad thing, it's a bit artificial spending ages chatting online, and you can end up forming an unrealistic expectation of who they are which they will then never live up too when you meet. The only way you'll really know how much chemistry you have is in person. Just make sure the first date is always somewhere public.

If someone you flat out aren't interested in then it's okay to ignore their initial contact, but if you've been seeing someone for a date or two and then decide you should be respectful enough to say something rather than leave them hanging.

Anyway hope it works out for you!

I'm a girl in my mid twenties and i recently signed up for a dating website because I'm finding it difficult to meet guys where I live. I'm new to online dating so I'm not really sure what's expected.

Is it normal that some guys wanna need up after a day or two? Would automatically assume that they're not interested in a serious relationship?

Also what are you supposed to write to someone in a first message? A lot of people just say 'Hi' or tell me that they like my pictures which makes me think that the message a lot of other girls too but I'm not really sure what to say to a guy when messaging them.

Also is it better to get back to some if you're not interested or is it better to ignore them? A guy seemed really angry at me because I told him that I didn't feel that we had anything in common. I try not to ignore people if they make an effort rather than just saying 'hi, how are you' but I feel like I might have offended him.

I get sick of the games that girls play. They just want to have a chat on the computer and via text and dont want to actually go out on a date.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I get sick of the games that girls play. They just want to have a chat on the computer and via text and dont want to actually go out on a date.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I have heard that most men on dating websites are after one thing preying on women, but I myself am a genuine male who had the problem that most women want something impossible.

I see dating profiles where women say they are trying online dating as fed up of the usual guys wanting only one thing and they dont like pretty boys,waxed bodies etc then I write a message and dont get a reply(but I know I am bad at messages anyway) or get a "sorry not our type" response despite being everything they wanted on paper down to looks, personality etc and the ones where you can check history of the user you find the people they check out are the same type they claim they despise.

So the online dating thing is almost useless really in the real world unless you are lucky or someone really has the hots for you.

Its also bad advice to say ignore those you dislike as the people who do this again would be annoyed or upset if it happened to them and its good for peace of mind as long as its worded in a reasonable way even if a few lines.

I think you should reply back to someone who only says "hi"...it's possible that he didn't think that you would reply, that's why he didn't bother sending a long message (my current boyfriend did this). It's what they say after the "hi" that you should pay attention to. Also, it's good to look on their profile as well, see what they are about, where they live, what their interests are etc.

Usually guys do like to meet up within a day or two, for them it's an easier way of breaking the ice, seeing if you have things in common, and most importantly, finding out if you are real. I wouldn't meet with anyone who I didn't talk to for at least a week, so I just used to say something like "well I'd prefer to chat on here for a bit longer" and see what they say. Most of them wont mind, but if they do, then they are not worth your time and are looking for an easy hook up....watch out for these guys!

Also, don't take to heart those guys that get angry at you, you're probably the 5th woman that day to say no thanks, so they are feeling quite low in their self esteem anyway....if they start being rude online, block them, you don't need to listen to a stranger talk about how rude you were and call you names, that's not what you are online for.

PM me if you need more advice, I have loads!

I try not to ignore people if they make an effort rather than just saying 'hi, how are you'

What's wrong with that? Are you expecting them to open with a poem dedicated to you or something? Lol, seems super picky to reject people because they say "hi". You don't even know what you're supposed to write yourself!

I think this is one of these vicious circle things. A lot of women tend not to message a guy back and thusly a lot of guys tend to think 'Well, I won't put a big ol' message on there in case she doesn't bother'. They wait to see if they get a response and 'save' a decent message for their reply if that makes sense.

It's interesting, online dating etiquette. If a woman's got some really interesting info and a lot of things in common with you on their profile then sure, message her and reference it and the job's a good un.

But loads of people don't have that, they have either very very scant information or ridiculously basic stuff like 'I like my friends and family' (Well, tough titties - I want to date a sociopath). If you messaged these people purely because you find them attractive it's creepy/not on/desperate.

But, if you get chatting to a woman on a train, in a bar, at work, wherever because you find them attractive (and you know nowt else about them) then it's ok - it's a strange line to draw.

Anyway, this has just been an irrelevant little rant as I don't really know much about what you're asking for, I just find it interesting.

Yeah I try to avoid the ones that are just after casual sex. Sometimes it's pretty obvious when you look at their profiles and messages. Obviously you can't always tell but I would imagine most of them will lose interest if you wanna get to know them first and they can't be bothered to write long messages. I've never said to anyone that they aren't my type. I'm obviously not attracted to everyone who messages me but I don't wanna upset anyone.



That's true! I'm really shy and I wouldn't know what to say myself. I always look at their profile, it's important to me that we have similar interests and that both of us are serious about meeting up.

That's a good point actually. One guy was really rude when I told him that I wasn't interested anymore. He asked me if I wanted to meet up and I said I wanted to get to know him better first and I lost interest when he asked me again two hours later.

Is it ok to message someone again if they haven't gotten back to you in like a day or does it just make you look desperate? This guy started messaging me and we seemed to get on really well but he hasn't been in touch in a while. He said he was really busy with work so maybe that why he hasn't been in touch.