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Odd moment with Girlfriend
I've been with my current girlfriend for just over 3 months now. Things are going excellent, of course we have the occasional 'off day' but the relationship is working better than I could have ever thought possible.
The relationship itself is starting to turn into a very serious one
and although I've had long-term, serious relationships before, things do feel very different with this person. In a good way of course!
Earlier on, we were chatting about when we first met and what we initially thought of each other. I actually met her on the Internet, (how sad some people may say. It was the first person I ever actually met up with off the Internet [although we live relatively close] and let's just say it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.. anyway, enough of that!) we had exchanged pictures and gotten to know each other for about 6 months.
She said that she thought I was an attractive guy and stuff at the time. Then earlier on, she comes out with....
Her: "I thought you were average in your pictures you sent me before we met"
Me: "Oh, right... ummm well I guess that's okay.. *with a slightly bemused look on my face*"
Her: "That's not bad though being 'average'. When I first saw you in the flesh though, I thought you looked really good! You looked really attractive, handsome and were way above 'average' appearance wise. That's what I continue to think now.!
Me: "Ah, thats alright then!"
BTW, I'd already mentioned what I thought of her when I first met etc. ^^^
I don't think it's much of an issue, if one at all. I just wanted to see what other people thought.
Finally, do you think it's a good sign that we're both able to talk about past relationships and have a laugh about things like that? I do feel extremely comfortable with this person and yes I do find her very attractive
Oh, before anyone starts flaming me. We both know its not all about appearance, but I'm just wondering what people think!
Regards,
Chris
The relationship itself is starting to turn into a very serious one
and although I've had long-term, serious relationships before, things do feel very different with this person. In a good way of course!Earlier on, we were chatting about when we first met and what we initially thought of each other. I actually met her on the Internet, (how sad some people may say. It was the first person I ever actually met up with off the Internet [although we live relatively close] and let's just say it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.. anyway, enough of that!) we had exchanged pictures and gotten to know each other for about 6 months.
She said that she thought I was an attractive guy and stuff at the time. Then earlier on, she comes out with....
Her: "I thought you were average in your pictures you sent me before we met"
Me: "Oh, right... ummm well I guess that's okay.. *with a slightly bemused look on my face*"
Her: "That's not bad though being 'average'. When I first saw you in the flesh though, I thought you looked really good! You looked really attractive, handsome and were way above 'average' appearance wise. That's what I continue to think now.!
Me: "Ah, thats alright then!"
BTW, I'd already mentioned what I thought of her when I first met etc. ^^^
I don't think it's much of an issue, if one at all. I just wanted to see what other people thought.
Finally, do you think it's a good sign that we're both able to talk about past relationships and have a laugh about things like that? I do feel extremely comfortable with this person and yes I do find her very attractive
Oh, before anyone starts flaming me. We both know its not all about appearance, but I'm just wondering what people think!
Regards,
Chris
Reply 1
atack
OP
Bump ^
i don't really see much to discuss here to be honest. It's great that you are having conversations like this together, and i think you should be comfortable enough to talk about past relations etc, it goes without saying. Yes, it's obviously a good sign, you know that.
As for appearances, sometimes when you see a photo, you only see whether they are pretty/average/etc, but it's only when you meet them that you see the attraction, i guess that makes attraction something you feel more than something you see, because it's their personality which shines through. I know someone, who if i showed you a picture of, you would probably think she was hot, but if you had to meet her for one minute, you would find her very unattractive, same goes the other way. There is one friend I can think of in particular, who is nothing special when you see her in pictures, but she is the most awesome person, and after knowing her I can honestly say she is gorgeous. And there are plenty of other people I know who can fit into these examples.
Are you bothered by the fact she didn't find you really good-looking at the start?
As for appearances, sometimes when you see a photo, you only see whether they are pretty/average/etc, but it's only when you meet them that you see the attraction, i guess that makes attraction something you feel more than something you see, because it's their personality which shines through. I know someone, who if i showed you a picture of, you would probably think she was hot, but if you had to meet her for one minute, you would find her very unattractive, same goes the other way. There is one friend I can think of in particular, who is nothing special when you see her in pictures, but she is the most awesome person, and after knowing her I can honestly say she is gorgeous. And there are plenty of other people I know who can fit into these examples.
Are you bothered by the fact she didn't find you really good-looking at the start?
Reply 3
atack
OP
zain88
i don't really see much to discuss here to be honest. It's great that you are having conversations like this together, and i think you should be comfortable enough to talk about past relations etc, it goes without saying. Yes, it's obviously a good sign, you know that.
Thank you for that, was just making sure if that makes sense!
zain88
As for appearances, sometimes when you see a photo, you only see whether they are pretty/average/etc, but it's only when you meet them that you see the attraction, i guess that makes attraction something you feel more than something you see, because it's their personality which shines through. I know someone, who if i showed you a picture of, you would probably think she was hot, but if you had to meet her for one minute, you would find her very unattractive, same goes the other way. There is one friend I can think of in particular, who is nothing special when you see her in pictures, but she is the most awesome person, and after knowing her I can honestly say she is gorgeous. And there are plenty of other people I know who can fit into these examples.
Are you bothered by the fact she didn't find you really good-looking at the start?
As for appearances, sometimes when you see a photo, you only see whether they are pretty/average/etc, but it's only when you meet them that you see the attraction, i guess that makes attraction something you feel more than something you see, because it's their personality which shines through. I know someone, who if i showed you a picture of, you would probably think she was hot, but if you had to meet her for one minute, you would find her very unattractive, same goes the other way. There is one friend I can think of in particular, who is nothing special when you see her in pictures, but she is the most awesome person, and after knowing her I can honestly say she is gorgeous. And there are plenty of other people I know who can fit into these examples.
Are you bothered by the fact she didn't find you really good-looking at the start?
I know that I always tend to look not exactly at my best in pictures. It's something that I've 'always' suffered from and probably will continue to do so. I personally blame it on the camera/person taking the photograph
I don't mean to sound big headed, but I know that I'm a decent looking guy. It doesn't bother me really that she thought I was average and I told her that I look better in real life than I do in pictures. In a way, all she is saying is proving what I told her before she met me. Right?
I don't mind being open about ex-relationships and so on. 95% of the time I don't mind talking about it, but there are sometimes she says certain things that make me feel a little uneasy - nothing 'worse' than I have ever done and nothing really that serious. For some reason though, when she says some things (that if I said to her and she got bothered, I wouldn't be too pleased about.. as they are just 'normal') sometimes agitate me. I don't ever say anything as I know that it's silly and it would just be unfair and stupid of me to get annoyed at things.
Regards,
Chris
Reply 4
If those were your actual replies to her comments about your appearance then that's pretty good. I would have been pretty pissed off to be honest if I knew that the girl I was seeing, before meeting me had thought that I looked average.
Then again I guess it's better than the other way round: you looking good in the photos and crap in real life.
As for talking about past relationships, I like talking about them to someone I'm close to but the danger is that you scare them a bit. If you say something like "Oh and I dumped her because she was being a complete bitch and I'd gone off her", you might get her worried... if past relationships are past relationships, it's because they ended and sometimes reminding her the fact that relationships with you end at some point (instead of just ignoringthat fact), it's not a good thing.
Then again I guess it's better than the other way round: you looking good in the photos and crap in real life.
As for talking about past relationships, I like talking about them to someone I'm close to but the danger is that you scare them a bit. If you say something like "Oh and I dumped her because she was being a complete bitch and I'd gone off her", you might get her worried... if past relationships are past relationships, it's because they ended and sometimes reminding her the fact that relationships with you end at some point (instead of just ignoringthat fact), it's not a good thing.
Reply 5
atack
OP
Sticky
If those were your actual replies to her comments about your appearance then that's pretty good. I would have been pretty pissed off to be honest if I knew that the girl I was seeing, before meeting me had thought that I looked average.
Then again I guess it's better than the other way round: you looking good in the photos and crap in real life.
Then again I guess it's better than the other way round: you looking good in the photos and crap in real life.
At first I was a bit taken a back by what she was saying. I think she was trying to let me know that I was right about the whole "I-look-much-better-in-real-life" comment I made to her before us meeting. I know that she does find me attractive etc.
In fairness, I was a little bit agitated when she initially stated she thought I was average, the thing is though the pictures I sent weren't very good and I know myself that I look much better in real life. Don't get me wrong, I didn't look bad in my pictures, I just look better in reality in my opinion.
Regards,
Chris
Reply 6
atack
OP
Sticky
As for talking about past relationships, I like talking about them to someone I'm close to but the danger is that you scare them a bit. If you say something like "Oh and I dumped her because she was being a complete bitch and I'd gone off her", you might get her worried... if past relationships are past relationships, it's because they ended and sometimes reminding her the fact that relationships with you end at some point (instead of just ignoringthat fact), it's not a good thing.
As for talking about past relationships, I like talking about them to someone I'm close to but the danger is that you scare them a bit. If you say something like "Oh and I dumped her because she was being a complete bitch and I'd gone off her", you might get her worried... if past relationships are past relationships, it's because they ended and sometimes reminding her the fact that relationships with you end at some point (instead of just ignoringthat fact), it's not a good thing.
When we talk about past relationships, they are mainly about the feelings we had and the fact that we didn't really get on with the people we were with and that we both never felt fully comfortable. Where as now, things are so different. We get on extremely well, are VERY comfortable with one another and there is something 'different' about "us". It is more of a comparing thing. Oh, there is the odd mention that we're both better than all the ex's etc
Regards,
Chris
Reply 7
Blah. Who honestly cares? She didn't know you then. Photos are flat. People are not. Besides, attraction isn't just physical. You could've looked like a car crash in real life and, as long as she's absolutely infatuated with you, she will think you look better than any photo of anything.
Photos are flat. People are not. Besides, attraction isn't just physical. You could've looked like a car crash in real life and, as long as she's absolutely infatuated with you, she will think you look better than any photo of anything. Reply 8
atack
OP
I'm not saying I'm that bothered by what was said, was just wondering what people thought.
As you said...... which she seems to be and I'm basically the same with her!
Anyway.. thanks for the input!
Cheers,
Chris
As you said...
as long as she's absolutely infatuated with you
Anyway.. thanks for the input!
Cheers,
Chris
Reply 9
She's being honest with you, and that's rarely a bad sign.
Also it shows that her initial attraction was maybe more to do with your personality (or how you came across via the internet) rather than your looks, but that after meeting you she became more physically attracted to you. Again that's not a bad thing.
Also it shows that her initial attraction was maybe more to do with your personality (or how you came across via the internet) rather than your looks, but that after meeting you she became more physically attracted to you. Again that's not a bad thing.
Reply 10
Welcome to cmjmiles's blog!
Reply 12
Thats nothing to be worried about. Perhaps her idea of average is extremely high. It sounds as though your relationship has a bestfriend kind of edge to it. Seeing as you met her on the internet, you clearly were able to talk for a long time before you met, and thats really really good.
Me and my boyfriend met on the internet (well, got his msn addy off of a friend- if that counts) lol, and now we are bestfriends as well as lovers, and when he talks to me about people he sees and says 'oh she is attractive'.. (although i get jealous) i've started to understand that from a bestfriends perspective, its an ordinary everyday comment, and doesn't mean that they would like to get into bed with one another.
She clearly enjoys talking to you and vice versa.. Perhaps she just didnt want to fall at your feet and say you were drop dead gorgeous.. You won't always know what she totaly feels about you, its top secret
Me and my boyfriend met on the internet (well, got his msn addy off of a friend- if that counts) lol, and now we are bestfriends as well as lovers, and when he talks to me about people he sees and says 'oh she is attractive'.. (although i get jealous) i've started to understand that from a bestfriends perspective, its an ordinary everyday comment, and doesn't mean that they would like to get into bed with one another.
She clearly enjoys talking to you and vice versa.. Perhaps she just didnt want to fall at your feet and say you were drop dead gorgeous.. You won't always know what she totaly feels about you, its top secret
Reply 13
atack
OP
amywalters
Thats nothing to be worried about. Perhaps her idea of average is extremely high. It sounds as though your relationship has a bestfriend kind of edge to it. Seeing as you met her on the internet, you clearly were able to talk for a long time before you met, and thats really really good.
I think that she has fairly 'high standards' as do I. All I know is that she really likes me and finds me attractive. I can't really ask for much more in that respect.
As for having a 'best-friend-edge' to the relationship, I think that is potentially there in the future. We are definitely very good friends, as well as lovers. It's a really good feeling having the two dimensions to the relationship. We're both able to talk to each other about any issues or situations that we come across in our lives. That has to be a good thing!
amywalters
Me and my boyfriend met on the internet (well, got his msn addy off of a friend- if that counts) lol, and now we are bestfriends as well as lovers, and when he talks to me about people he sees and says 'oh she is attractive'.. (although i get jealous) i've started to understand that from a bestfriends perspective, its an ordinary everyday comment, and doesn't mean that they would like to get into bed with one another.
Me and my boyfriend met on the internet (well, got his msn addy off of a friend- if that counts) lol, and now we are bestfriends as well as lovers, and when he talks to me about people he sees and says 'oh she is attractive'.. (although i get jealous) i've started to understand that from a bestfriends perspective, its an ordinary everyday comment, and doesn't mean that they would like to get into bed with one another.
I get similar feelings to you about when she says certain things about people being attractive or not. It doesn't tend to be people we see walking around, just celebrities and so on, which isn't really anything to worry about!
She clearly enjoys talking to you and vice versa.. Perhaps she just didnt want to fall at your feet and say you were drop dead gorgeous.. You won't always know what she totaly feels about you, its top secret
Ah girls and their feelings
Thanks for the response, very much appreciated!
Regards,
Chris
Reply 14
atack
OP
Double Post, sorry!
Reply 15
atack
OP
And again ^... sorry!
Reply 16
a thread in the life of cmjmiles
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