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Relationship advice (sorry!)
Sorry to be all cliche and crap, but I need some advice really.
As it always is - theres a guy.
We get on really, really well - we have done for a good couple of years now, we're fantastic friends, but theres always been something more than friends there.
Anyhow, last night, he asked me out. I want to say yes - but I've got a lot of issues at the moment.
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is currently flying out of control, my relationships are becoming more and more unstable, and impulses to over-shop, over-eat, and selfharm are becoming worse.
I know that I need to just chill out a bit, which I Was looking forward to over the summer. I just needed a break from everyone and everything. This includes him.
To be honest, the idea of being in a sort of relationship where you spend every night at their house, ringing them every other night, or whatever terrifies me at the moment.
Hence the reason I said "maybe".
But I don't know what to say - I do really like him, a lot, and if I felt more stable, I would love to go out with him.
What should I do, any advice?
And how can I tell him no - if I tell him no - without either hurting him, or revealing my life history?
x x x
As it always is - theres a guy.
We get on really, really well - we have done for a good couple of years now, we're fantastic friends, but theres always been something more than friends there.
Anyhow, last night, he asked me out. I want to say yes - but I've got a lot of issues at the moment.
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is currently flying out of control, my relationships are becoming more and more unstable, and impulses to over-shop, over-eat, and selfharm are becoming worse.
I know that I need to just chill out a bit, which I Was looking forward to over the summer. I just needed a break from everyone and everything. This includes him.
To be honest, the idea of being in a sort of relationship where you spend every night at their house, ringing them every other night, or whatever terrifies me at the moment.
Hence the reason I said "maybe".
But I don't know what to say - I do really like him, a lot, and if I felt more stable, I would love to go out with him.
What should I do, any advice?
And how can I tell him no - if I tell him no - without either hurting him, or revealing my life history?
x x x
Anonymous
Sorry to be all cliche and crap, but I need some advice really.
As it always is - theres a guy.
We get on really, really well - we have done for a good couple of years now, we're fantastic friends, but theres always been something more than friends there.
Anyhow, last night, he asked me out. I want to say yes - but I've got a lot of issues at the moment.
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is currently flying out of control, my relationships are becoming more and more unstable, and impulses to over-shop, over-eat, and selfharm are becoming worse.
I know that I need to just chill out a bit, which I Was looking forward to over the summer. I just needed a break from everyone and everything. This includes him.
To be honest, the idea of being in a sort of relationship where you spend every night at their house, ringing them every other night, or whatever terrifies me at the moment.
Hence the reason I said "maybe".
But I don't know what to say - I do really like him, a lot, and if I felt more stable, I would love to go out with him.
What should I do, any advice?
And how can I tell him no - if I tell him no - without either hurting him, or revealing my life history?
x x x
As it always is - theres a guy.
We get on really, really well - we have done for a good couple of years now, we're fantastic friends, but theres always been something more than friends there.
Anyhow, last night, he asked me out. I want to say yes - but I've got a lot of issues at the moment.
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is currently flying out of control, my relationships are becoming more and more unstable, and impulses to over-shop, over-eat, and selfharm are becoming worse.
I know that I need to just chill out a bit, which I Was looking forward to over the summer. I just needed a break from everyone and everything. This includes him.
To be honest, the idea of being in a sort of relationship where you spend every night at their house, ringing them every other night, or whatever terrifies me at the moment.
Hence the reason I said "maybe".
But I don't know what to say - I do really like him, a lot, and if I felt more stable, I would love to go out with him.
What should I do, any advice?
And how can I tell him no - if I tell him no - without either hurting him, or revealing my life history?
x x x
Well you said your both 'fantastic friends'. Would he be a sort of guy to pitty you if you were to tell him? I mean im sure he would understand and maybe if you did start a relationship it would be even better for things to work in the long run.
A relationship is not based on staying at their place all the time or calling them all the time. Its what both of you feel comfortable with. As you know him better then all of us, you need to make the decission after thinking about it.
As a guy if you turn him down without no reason he is most likely to think you are not interested in him in any other way.
You have mentioned that you are great friends. If he is truly a friend he will be understanding of your condition.
Even if you decline his offer, what you have with him is special. I recommend you go for it!! He had a lot of courage to ask you out, because there is a point (between 2 weeks - 2 months) where friends cusomarily aren't allowed to date each other and you have passed that point.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a big relationship where you see him all the time or ringing him. I think that having someone close to you like him will support you and maybe make you get better, but only if you want him. Follow your heart! but not social custom!
Even if you decline his offer, what you have with him is special. I recommend you go for it!! He had a lot of courage to ask you out, because there is a point (between 2 weeks - 2 months) where friends cusomarily aren't allowed to date each other and you have passed that point.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a big relationship where you see him all the time or ringing him. I think that having someone close to you like him will support you and maybe make you get better, but only if you want him. Follow your heart! but not social custom!
I would just explain the situation that you are in at the moment to him and then take things from there. I am sure he will understand and if he wants to go out with you, which he obviously does then he will do things to suit you.
The same thing applies if you decide to tell him no just be honest with him, Blokes appreciate honesty and it could then maybe pave the way for a later time if you are both still single and your situation improves!
The same thing applies if you decide to tell him no just be honest with him, Blokes appreciate honesty and it could then maybe pave the way for a later time if you are both still single and your situation improves!
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