The Student Room Group

how to slow a guy down without hurting his feelings?

If a guy who you like very much starts trying to do more than you're ready to do, how do you let him know without hurting him or making him mad or doing something you don't want to? Lets say the guy tries to kiss you, and you don't want to right then, for various reasons. What do you do? How do guys usually react?

Say you've never kissed anyone before. Is there a bigger chance of regretting kissing someone you like, or not kissing them?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
Put it this way, if the lad doesn't respect you enough to not get offended or upset if you say "slow down" he isn't worth being with:smile:

Simple enough:smile:
Reply 2
I think you are placing too much value on a simple kiss. As for other stuff tell him you want to take it slow. If he is anything like me he would understand. If he dumps you because he wanted to sleep with you right away then he obviously isnt worth it.
Reply 3
Yeah, I know a guy who'd get really upset over being told to slow down isn't worth it, but I don't always have a lot of tact and dont want to hurt anyone unnecessesarily. Is there an effective way of saying "slow down" thats less likely to be taken the wrong way than looking horrified and flatly saying "no way" or something like that?

Ok, its probably true that I'm placing way to much value on a kiss. I'm not very experienced at all with this kind of thing... What kind of things are considered fairly innocent and not a big deal, like kissing? What kind of things are more "serious"?
like Profesh (I think) said in the other thread about "how to turn guys down nicely", use the remote. :p:

jokes aside, he isn't worth being with. my ex had a problem with me stopping him mid-makeout session when he touched my boobs or my crotch.
guys like these aren't worth tolerating.
Reply 5
Just jokingly say something along the lines of "wow cowboy slow down..." or similar:biggrin:
Reply 6
Slowing a guy down does not hurt his feelings. Problem solved.

He'll only say that kind of bull**** to make you feel obliged to do stuff you don't want to.
If you like a guy and he likes you back and you're not comfortable to do anything, he'll like you MORE and respect you MORE if you show that you don't do things because you feel forced into them.
a huge bag of ice by ur bedside won't go amiss
billbonesknowswhatimean
a huge bag of ice by ur bedside won't go amiss


and a cattle prod if youve allready let him get that far lol
Reply 9
Incidentally, I appear to be facing a similar problem: there's this girl that I like, but she insists on engaging me in conversation; how do I inform her that I'm not yet ready for an oral relationship, without actually communicating anything?

Regards,
Profesh
duck tape
billbonesknowswhatimean
duck tape

quack quack boom boom!

Taking a leaf from the other main thread of this forum, tell him you're on. Every time he advances. Rebecca did that. Git.
David Beckham
quack quack boom boom!


lower the tone why don't you
Reply 13
billbonesknowswhatimean
duck tape


It's "Duct Tape". That's the proper name and it's not the name used in the UK anyway.
Reply 14
Sticky
It's "Duct Tape". That's the proper name and it's not the name used in the UK anyway.


Who cares? It's a brand name. I bet you've referred to sticky tape as 'sellotape', used the word 'hoover' - I could go on forever.

Although significantly in this case it was originally known as Duck Tape. So shush.
duct tape. i'm so sorry.
Superglue and lashings of sticky toffee pudding
Reply 17
You say "slow down I'm not ready for this" and if he ignores that or goes mental he's not worth your time or energy.
Reply 18
Mr. Fox
Who cares? It's a brand name. I bet you've referred to sticky tape as 'sellotape', used the word 'hoover' - I could go on forever.

Although significantly in this case it was originally known as Duck Tape. So shush.


:rolleyes: Someone missed the point. Duck tape, duct tape, whatever. That's not what it's called here.
MASKING TAPE. there happy? :p: