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Broke up with my boyfriend yesterday

Iv been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, and we lived together. for a few months, Iv felt so unhappy. Didn't want to be intimate with him. I felt so distant and unhappy. All I wanted was to feel like me again. I asked him for space so we stopped seeing each other every day. We moved back to our parents and we stayed together at weekends and met up a couple of times in the week. When we were together, I was happy, we had a laugh and everything was ok. But I still didn't want to be intimate or even kiss him. I felt like we were just best friends. When we first met, it was amazing. I was so happy and I loved him with all my heart. But I started thinking I wasn't inlove with him anymore. Yesterday, something broke inside me and I just couldn't do it anymore. So I broke up with him. He's crushed. Textin me pleading for another chance, he can't love without me, etc. I feel aweful and I can't stop crying. Now I'm scared that I'm alone and that he was who I was meant to be with and I was just being ridiculous. Is this just because I miss him? Or because I still care about him and love him, just not in the way he deserves to be loved. Or are relationships meant to be like that and I was just chasing some fairytail romance that never happens? Did I do the right thing? I know I wasn't happy. But should I have made myself? Because he was amazing.
You are the only person who knows whether you did the right thing or not.
If you're not sure, give him another chance but be careful because it won't be easy.
Reply 2
Avatar for Orthonym
Orthonym
Even if you think someone is amazing it doesn't mean you want to be with them for life. You did the right thing because I'm sure he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you if it is making you unhappy. If someone is unhappy then it is not working right. It is normal for him to be crushed, and normal for you to feel crushed even though you were the one to break up with him. That is because by breaking up you have admitted to yourself that you don't want to spend your life with him. Until you broke up with him, you were clinging to the idea that you wanted to spend your life with him. Letting go of that idea is very painful, because knowing someone will always be there for you, and having someone to always love and enjoy being with, that is very comforting and difficult to lose.

You will hurt and miss him, but that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. I don't think you were attracted to him in a romantic way any more. Obviously he is very upset, but if he were able to turn off his emotions at the moment and think about it logically, he would say "ok, you're right, we shouldn't be together because it isn't working. I want you to be happy, and I want to be with someone who I can make happy. It's ok, we're just not *meant to be*"

It will take a lot of time to get over him, and for him to get over you, but you both can love again, and mostly likely will love again. Stay strong.
Reply 3
Avatar for Louise1787
Louise1787
4
Original post by Emaly
Iv been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, and we lived together. for a few months, Iv felt so unhappy. Didn't want to be intimate with him. I felt so distant and unhappy. All I wanted was to feel like me again. I asked him for space so we stopped seeing each other every day. We moved back to our parents and we stayed together at weekends and met up a couple of times in the week. When we were together, I was happy, we had a laugh and everything was ok. But I still didn't want to be intimate or even kiss him. I felt like we were just best friends. When we first met, it was amazing. I was so happy and I loved him with all my heart. But I started thinking I wasn't inlove with him anymore. Yesterday, something broke inside me and I just couldn't do it anymore. So I broke up with him. He's crushed. Textin me pleading for another chance, he can't love without me, etc. I feel aweful and I can't stop crying. Now I'm scared that I'm alone and that he was who I was meant to be with and I was just being ridiculous. Is this just because I miss him? Or because I still care about him and love him, just not in the way he deserves to be loved. Or are relationships meant to be like that and I was just chasing some fairytail romance that never happens? Did I do the right thing? I know I wasn't happy. But should I have made myself? Because he was amazing.


It's always scary breaking up with someone and I think most of the time you feel worried that that person might be 'the one' or worried about being alone. I think you did the right thing in asking for some space - clearly that didn't fix the problem and so it does suggest it's something deep rooted that's the real issue. It sounds like you really care about him so of course you would feel sad and question what you've done because you don't want to hurt him. My suggestion would be to say to him that you need some time apart to think about things, and try to avoid him for the time being, also ask him to take some time and not get in touch with you. Assess how that time apart makes you feel. Is it a bit lonely, is it ok, is it gut-wrenchingly awful? If you are meant to be together, I think you will know after a few weeks because you will continue to feel unbelievably awful and will know you've made a mistake. However, what this sounds like to me is that you have made the right decision and you feel deep down that it was right but you are sad for him and for you about it which is why you are questioning it. Take some time apart and see where that leaves you.
Reply 4
Avatar for Emaly
Emaly
OP
1
Thank you all for replying to me. You have actually made me feel abit better about it all. I really appreciate it
I wish I knew what to say. :frown: Sorry. Hope you two can work it all out. :smile:

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