Just need to chat

Well, I've had issues with mental health problems since I was a teenager. I'm now in my 20's and definitely in a more positive stage of my life. Last year I had a complete breakdown after being in an abusive relationship for 4 years, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I am happy to say that this is now different, I am more happy and confident and fingers crossed getting into university this year to study mental health nursing.

My problem is, although I am a lot better, I defiantly don't feel like I did, but I still have this niggling thing in my head. I'm frightened of becoming unwell again. All I want to do it be well, go to university and train as a mental health nurse so I can help others with mental health problems. I feel so compassionate about it, but I'm still worried. What if I'm not well enough to do it? What if one day this niggling feeling I have gets the better of me? What can I do about it? I don't want to visit the GP because I know it will be dismissed as I know I'm so much better than I was, and I not really sure what else could be wrong.

I'm like everyone else, I have my good and bad days, sometimes I will go for a couple of weeks of feeling really low, but then I'll be fine, back to this new confident me. I'm not really sure what to think or do, I don't have any support from family and little support from friends, so I think I just need to chat to other people.

Whenever you feel a little down, remind yourself of what it is that you don't want to slip back into, and then think of the brighter, happier future you ARE heading towards. It sounds like it's only you who can get you there, so you need to reassure yourself that you can, and that you're stronger now and will never allow yourself to slip back into that mental state. Sometimes you will need reassurance, so whenever you feel like there's nobody to turn to, don't be afraid to confide in someone to give you a little positive push - whether it's your doctor, someone you befriend on your course, a professor, a counsellor, or even someone on TSR like me.

I know, its just hard sometimes. Even with reassurance, as there is no one that knows everything that has gone on and the majority of people just say the same thing 'you'll be fine', which doesn't really mean anything. And its difficult to be honest with people sometimes with how I feel, because if I'm honest, it feels more real.