Worried guys will be put off by my labia Watch

ihasaquestion
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I have never been intimate with a guy before (I'm 21). One thing that really worries me is that a guy will be put off by the appearance of my labia...

I know there are guys that do like larger labia but I'm acutely aware that more often than not, guys like small, neat labias, which can probably be put down to the way porn presents women's genitalia.

There are a lot of guys that say they don't like it when there's absolutely nothing there because a bit of labia can make sex better. But my labia is really quite pronounced and it's making me really nervous.

I saw this image today

Name:  Untitled3.jpg
Views: 161028
Size:  45.2 KB

and I've read so many comments online from guys that say they think that it's disgusting when a girl's vagina looks like a 'beef sandwich' or if they have 'meat curtains'. This is making me very self-conscious (more than I already am) and I've even been looking up labia-plasty procedures. I can't afford one, and even if I could I probably wouldn't anyway because I'd be worried about complications.

My inner labia is very long and it sometimes becomes uncomfortable in certain clothing and when exercising. The skin is stretchy, wrinkled and brown and I also have a long clitoral hood. I'm just worried that when I do feel comfortable enough to be intimate with someone, that he'll be put off by it. Obviously, I wouldn't ever consider being with someone who put me down or made me feel bad about my body, but I'm anticipating nasty comments as almost an inevitability from insensitive sexual partners I may come across.

I went to the doctor about it and she seemed pretty surprised. I mean I removed my underwear and she went "Oh, wow. They really do hang down a lot don't they?' So I asked her about it and she said it was completely normal and that some women are just naturally like that and that she wouldn't recommend me getting them shortened. But it was quite clear that hers weren't like that and that she didn't think it was aesthetically pleasing...

For obvious reasons, I'm not going to post a picture of my labia, or link to one that looks similar. However, I have drawn a diagram (cringe) of what I look like (Fig. 1) and what I would like to look like (Fig. 2). MODS - THESE ARE FOR ILLUSTRATIVE AND EDUCATION PURPOSES ONLY. I wouldn't want to get rid of my inner labia completely, and I know it's impossible to change the colour, but I just wish they weren't SO big.

Fig. 1
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Size:  19.4 KB

Fig. 2

Name:  Untitled2.png
Views: 12757
Size:  17.1 KB

Guys - Would you be really put off by a labia like mine? It's making me really nervous about becoming intimate with someone.
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unprinted
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No.

Have a look at the large (sic) labia project on Tumblr. And consider complaining about the doctor...
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ihasaquestion
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(Original post by unprinted)
No.

Have a look at the large (sic) labia project on Tumblr. And consider complaining about the doctor...
Thank you. The doctor was quite unprofessional I thought.
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unprinted
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I've just had a look at the diagrams - you're utterly normal.

Whatever you look like, there are going to be some insecure idiots who complain. Ignore them, or - because they're usually male - suggest that you'll consider surgery once they've had their scrotum surgically shortened or stretched... by you.
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ihasaquestion
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(Original post by unprinted)
I've just had a look at the diagrams - you're utterly normal.

Whatever you look like, there are going to be some insecure idiots who complain. Ignore them, or - because they're usually male - suggest that you'll consider surgery once they've had their scrotum surgically shortened or stretched... by you.
That's comforting, thank you. Hahaa that made me smile, thanks
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unprinted
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Good

The other thing to remember is that most of the complaints come from people who have never seen a vulva in the flesh, as it were, and if they continue to behave like that, never will... Or at least not for more than a couple of seconds before they have their face slapped.

Find some underwear that's comfortable for you (or do without, if the rest of your clothing allows that...)
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Guy Secretan
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erm I don't know what to suggest other than it wouldn't put me off a girl and it's not someone I would think about.
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Plumstone
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I'm pretty sure you're not as abnormal as you think and, frankly, if a guy is put off by the look of your genitalia then he's not the kind of guy you want to have sex with anyway.
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ChaniMeryl
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I used to worry about all this sort of stuff because I have a similar labia and I spoke to my older sister about it, and she would just basically say, sex is sex, if you want a one night stand, then they will only have to be with you for, what, a couple of hours, so what if they don't appreciate your body, it doesn't matter, and when you find that number 1 person who loves you etc, then they won't care about it. Vaginas aren't meant to be pretty! Plus its the same as guys foreskin, some have hardly any, some have loads, maybe we females should kick up a fuss about theirs

Either way, don't have it changed, if anything make light of it, if a sexual partner says anything about it make a joke or something.

My boyfriend and I make jokes about parts of our bodies all of the time, just think about it, if everything on your body was completely tucked in and boring, where would fetishes come from? It's something so small and insignificant don't let it ruin the thought of having sex.

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katieaj96
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I alwwwaayysssss worried about this. Don't! No ones private parts are pretty no mater what colour size or shape they are. They are all different. I always said only true guys have the experience of real vaginas. If they moan or groan about what it looks like, then they are simply not worth your time, and probably spend too much of their time on pornsites. Life's too short to worry about other people's opinions on downstairs parts
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samba
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Less hassle to add a little clamp!
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Anonymous #1
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i was so shocked when i read your post because it was exactly what i was thinking this time last year. I have EXACTLY the same problems as you, and did the whole googling labia plasty too. but now i have a boyfriend and he could not care less about the size of them, the colour or anything. honestly, you have nothing to worry about! x
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Jamster1997
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Guys - Would you be really put off by a labia like mine? It's making me really nervous about becoming intimate with someone.[/QUOTE]

Personally, i have no preference and it would not bother me. I can understand your reasons for feeling insecure but not all guys are prats and believe that every girl is like they are represented and portrayed in porn. If they are the right the person then they will love you for you and will not be judgemental of your body.

I wouldn't do anything if I were you and I would just try and be more confident about your body. I know that's hard as there are many things I don't like about my body but it's a journey we all should take. (Sounding all philosophical lol) I hope you feel better about yourself soon.
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WistfulWanderer
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Alright, time for a reality check. I'm not going to try to make you feel all warm and fuzzy like everyone else seems to be trying to do - I'm going to truthfully adress the question you asked. Yes, it would certainly put me off and most guys would have the same initial reaction. It's a sad truth that humans are aesthetically stimulated beings. And before anyone on here accuses me of having rarely seen female genitalia and being influenced solely by pornography, let me say that I have seen a fair few vaginas having been with a fair few girls! And once again before I am accused of being a 'man-whore' I have been in a strong, committed relationship for just over a year. Now comes the interesting point - I now would care a lot less what my girlfriend's labia were like than when we first got together. BUT, if she had had labia like you describe yours then I cannot honestly say that we would have gone any further than an awkward encounter the first time we decided to sleep together. Yes it is true that a guy who loves you wouldn't care about your labia, but you've got to get there first. I'm not going to lie to you and say that guys won't care. They will! If you're self conscious about it then I would genuinely consider surgery. Please take this in the helpful manner in which it was intended and not offensively. All the best x
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unprinted
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(Original post by WistfulWanderer)
most guys would have the same initial reaction
Crap.
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PrincePauper
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(Original post by ihasaquestion)
I have never been intimate with a guy before (I'm 21). One thing that really worries me is that a guy will be put off by the appearance of my labia...

I know there are guys that do like larger labia but I'm acutely aware that more often than not, guys like small, neat labias, which can probably be put down to the way porn presents women's genitalia.

There are a lot of guys that say they don't like it when there's absolutely nothing there because a bit of labia can make sex better. But my labia is really quite pronounced and it's making me really nervous.

I saw this image today

Name:  Untitled3.jpg
Views: 161028
Size:  45.2 KB

and I've read so many comments online from guys that say they think that it's disgusting when a girl's vagina looks like a 'beef sandwich' or if they have 'meat curtains'. This is making me very self-conscious (more than I already am) and I've even been looking up labia-plasty procedures. I can't afford one, and even if I could I probably wouldn't anyway because I'd be worried about complications.

My inner labia is very long and it sometimes becomes uncomfortable in certain clothing and when exercising. The skin is stretchy, wrinkled and brown and I also have a long clitoral hood. I'm just worried that when I do feel comfortable enough to be intimate with someone, that he'll be put off by it. Obviously, I wouldn't ever consider being with someone who put me down or made me feel bad about my body, but I'm anticipating nasty comments as almost an inevitability from insensitive sexual partners I may come across.

I went to the doctor about it and she seemed pretty surprised. I mean I removed my underwear and she went "Oh, wow. They really do hang down a lot don't they?' So I asked her about it and she said it was completely normal and that some women are just naturally like that and that she wouldn't recommend me getting them shortened. But it was quite clear that hers weren't like that and that she didn't think it was aesthetically pleasing...

For obvious reasons, I'm not going to post a picture of my labia, or link to one that looks similar. However, I have drawn a diagram (cringe) of what I look like (Fig. 1) and what I would like to look like (Fig. 2). MODS - THESE ARE FOR ILLUSTRATIVE AND EDUCATION PURPOSES ONLY. I wouldn't want to get rid of my inner labia completely, and I know it's impossible to change the colour, but I just wish they weren't SO big.

Fig. 1
Name:  Untitled.png
Views: 98849
Size:  19.4 KB

Fig. 2

Name:  Untitled2.png
Views: 12757
Size:  17.1 KB

Guys - Would you be really put off by a labia like mine? It's making me really nervous about becoming intimate with someone.
Came here hoping to make a harsh comment, but as this is sensitive and serious...

irrelevant of all previous comments, you will always get a "bang". Only negative is the possibility of the bloke reporting back to the boys the morning after telling how big the p lips were of his latest shag, if they are indeed that big.

true story
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Anonymous #2
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Mine are longer than the diagram you've put on - I sometimes find myself having to tuck myself up (I know, I'm sorry) if I'm wearing certain types of clothing. I have also been very self conscious about it, and actually find myself obsessively worrying about when I have to have cervical smear tests, or when I have babies - will the doctors/midwives actually faint in shock??

But I was nervous when having sex for the first time with my partner, and he's never, ever mentioned that there's anything different between me and any other woman. I do know that I am a mid to extreme case, however I also know that it's my body, and I don't want to change it unless necessary for medical reasons (like if I became prone to infection or pain because of it or something like that).
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Valentina.
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To drum into you a point someone made earlier: If they don't like it, you don't want them having sex with you.

I think it is so important for someone to love all of you and respect you before they hop on your body.

Plus, if they're making judgements as they're about to have sex, you don't need that sh*t!
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Scoobiedoobiedo
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The guy won't care, he will simply be thinking "YAY! A naked lady that is going to let me do things to her".
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Anonymous #3
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I thought I was the only one! I never used to think twice about this but now I'm in my first relationship I have started worrying about my body more and this is one of the main things that bothers me. Mine is exactly as you describe except one of mine is actually longer than the other which is even worse. I'm so worried about what he will think and if he will be put off by this! I don't think I would consider surgery though, mainly because of the cost.
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