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FWB said she loved me. Confused beyond measure.

So here's the situation, the girl I've been seeing casually for the last 5 or so months said she thought she was falling in love with me today when we went out for drinks. I told her I care about her but I needed some time to process this and that we'd meet tomorrow and talk things out in detail.

Here's the issue - I like her, I really do. She's everything I've ever wanted in a girl but in 2 months time, I'll be on a Eurotrip and then go back home before starting uni in London. She'll still be in New York (she's on a year out, so am I and she'll be studying in the U.S). Plus, about 8 months back, my ex cheated on me out of nowhere after 3.5 years of a very happy relationship so to say I have trust issues would be an understatement - I'm definitely over her and have moved on, but the trust bit is something I'm a bit weary of.

I want to take a leap of faith and see where it goes with this girl, but it'll be long distance within 2 months and I don't know if either of us will have the time to visit each other/see each other often at all.

So now the issue is what do I tell her? Do I tell her that I like her too, and we continue with the FWB thing we have going or stop that, or do I get into a relationship and see where it goes (I want to, but I think its very impractical and am leaning away from this option).

****. Why does life have to be so complicated. Anyone here been in a similar situation by any chance? Any opinions/advice would be appreciated.
Anon as I know a few people on here.

Reply 1

Orthonym

Toughie. I don't want to put a downer on your situation but...

As it was a FWB situation but you genuinely like her, it suggests that you would be ok settling down, but you're also still ok with looking around. If you're going to go into a long distance relationship you need to be really sure you want that, because other potential partners and missing your partner will take a massive toll on both of you whilst you're apart.

I've been in an LDR when I took a year's study in Malaysia, we had only been going out for 3 or so months. To make it last you need to want it to last more than anything, and I don't think you have that. In your position I would end it. Being in an LDR was worth it for me, but I missed him so much and sometimes I just wanted to go home. If I had been single I think I would have made more out of my year abroad. So if you're not sure about whether to go for it or not, I'd say it's not enough, unlikely to last and therefore more worth it for you both to concentrate on making your year amazing and experiencing the world. I think that's more important. I say end it and take a break from contact.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Well I definitely haven't been looking around...I think we both fancied each other, there was an attraction but neither of us wanted a relationship when it started out, so we went with the FWB thing.

I don't think a relationship is feasible, but it would be awful to have to cut contact with her. What I'm thinking is that I'll tell her how I feel, but also explain to her why I think a relationship is a bad idea (I think she'll agree with me on this due to the very real issues ie long distance in just 2 months from now etc) and that I want to continue spending time with her and make the most of the 2 months we have left? Or will she slap me across the face and think I'm a complete moron? Eurhg, so confusing.

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