Did I make the wrong choice?

I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. I went out with my bf for 3 yrs. He wanted to get married (not right away but eventually). I wasn't sure. I really loved him but there were a few issues for me, like he has a bit of a temper & is rubbish with money. I felt these things would be a strain in a marriage & felt that if after 3 yrs we weren't going to end up getting married then where was the relationship going so we broke up.

That was about 9 months ago. now I feel I may have made a massive mistake. I'm shy & find it difficult to open up to people but I never had this problem with my ex, we could talk about practically anything, even before we were going out. He is the only person I ever told certain things to.

Now I feel I may have been too harsh, ok he wasn't perfect but he always cared for me & would usually put me first. I now worry that I will not find anyone like that again that I can open up to. He has another gf now & has changed a lot so I've lost him as a close friend (he's now more of an acquaintance). Am I silly to feel I've lost what could have been the best relationship I'll ever have? (I'm only 19) I feel like maybe I've been striving for perfection which obviously isn't going to happen and may have not realised how good I had it.

Reply 1

Burky

On another forum I check out, this thread came up this week, which is whining about why people get married so young.
Getting married before you've experienced quite a bit is not a good idea IMO.

If you have such serious issues, like money and temper with him back then, when you got married and lived together these problems would magnify and become worse for you. These are important factors, and could possibly bring the downfall of a marriage, so maybe you made the right decision.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I read that other thread, I guess I probably am looking thru rose-tinted spectacles. We did have some great times but we aren't suited enough to ever get married. I need to go out & enjoy being single! (I do at uni but now am at home & seeing my ex & it brings it all back, esp as he is apparently madly in love with someone else). I think its just hard cos he was my best friend as well. Ah well, in 10 years time I'll hopefully look back & think what fun it was to be 19 & single & that I'm much better off with Joe Bloggs that I'm with now!

*bump* :d

At 19 there's no need to think about getting married, you wanna enjoy your life

Reply 5

Mike_Davies

Look your 19 single and in uni get out there and experience things for yourself dont hold back because time certainly isnt going to stop just for you to twiddle your thumbs thinking about what could have been! Your not going to get any younger so pull your finger out and live a little you dont have to open up to every guy you get with!

Reply 6

tanusha-tomsk

You didn't make a mistake! Kudos for weighting things properly even though you were in love, and admitting that you have issues with them. You'll find someone, you're only 19 :smile: