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breaking up :(
my boyfriend and i have been together 3 years. just recently i did a few things that i didnt want him to find out about.. i tried drugs and did a few other things that are not great (i didnt cheat on him though). but i hated them and never went near them again, and hated the things i did.
my boyfriend is TOTALLY and utterly against drugs and the other things i did and thinks they make girls cheap and trashy. he found out by chance about it today and its driven him to the point of wanting to breakup with me because i hid something he hates so much, from him. i lied.
im begging him not to leave me... 3 years is alot, and we are totally crazy about each other but this really has upset him. hes up in arms about it and doesnt want to speak to me, and wants the relationship to finish.
i cant let it finish.. i put my forehead to the ground and kiss his feet with my tears because i love him so much. i cant let him go.. i said everything i could.
once trust is gone, can it ever be rebuilt?
my boyfriend is TOTALLY and utterly against drugs and the other things i did and thinks they make girls cheap and trashy. he found out by chance about it today and its driven him to the point of wanting to breakup with me because i hid something he hates so much, from him. i lied.
im begging him not to leave me... 3 years is alot, and we are totally crazy about each other but this really has upset him. hes up in arms about it and doesnt want to speak to me, and wants the relationship to finish.
i cant let it finish.. i put my forehead to the ground and kiss his feet with my tears because i love him so much. i cant let him go.. i said everything i could.
once trust is gone, can it ever be rebuilt?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Anonymous
my boyfriend and i have been together 3 years. just recently i did a few things that i didnt want him to find out about.. i tried drugs and did a few other things that are not great (i didnt cheat on him though). but i hated them and never went near them again, and hated the things i did.
my boyfriend is TOTALLY and utterly against drugs and the other things i did and thinks they make girls cheap and trashy. he found out by chance about it today and its driven him to the point of wanting to breakup with me because i hid something he hates so much, from him.
my boyfriend is TOTALLY and utterly against drugs and the other things i did and thinks they make girls cheap and trashy. he found out by chance about it today and its driven him to the point of wanting to breakup with me because i hid something he hates so much, from him.
If you're going to post anonymously, could you at least give us the details?
Although this:i lied.
...might be more the reason why you split up.
once trust is gone, can it ever be rebuilt?
Yeah, if your boyfriend is a trusting person. If not, no. Simple as that. Sorry. Three years is a long time, and if after that you can still do drugs and "things that aren't great" and, most importantly, lie to him, you're probably not worth trusting.
Reply 2
generalebriety
Yeah, if your boyfriend is a trusting person. If not, no. Simple as that. Sorry. Three years is a long time, and if after that you can still do drugs and "things that aren't great" and, most importantly, lie to him, you're probably not worth trusting.
harsh but true
Reply 3
Cadre_Of_Storms
harsh but true
I don't believe in "soft/warm/comforting but bull****".
i think the fact that you lied about it is definately the problem here. if you had just told him about it, he probably wouldn't have minded so much. i suggest you try to contact him, and talk to him and try and work things out. i just hope your boyfriend will trust you not to do it again...
Reply 5
Did you do that stuff before you met/went out with him. If thats the case then meh.
And if you never actually lied ie. he asked "have you done drugs before" then its probably alright. We cant really help our pasts. My GF has done drugs before and although I dont understand it, she had her reasons. She stopped on her own accord and for that I respect her.
And if you never actually lied ie. he asked "have you done drugs before" then its probably alright. We cant really help our pasts. My GF has done drugs before and although I dont understand it, she had her reasons. She stopped on her own accord and for that I respect her.
Reply 6
supernova2
Did you do that stuff before you met/went out with him. If thats the case then meh.
And if you never actually lied ie. he asked "have you done drugs before" then its probably alright.
And if you never actually lied ie. he asked "have you done drugs before" then its probably alright.
You seem quite laid back about this on the grounds of lexical pedantry. For the recipient, in a three-year relationship, "not telling the whole truth" often equates to "lying".
Edit: besides, no, the OP says she did them recently.
Reply 7
I know how u feel, its soooooooooo hard to let someone go ur soo close to. When i read that u put ur forehead down to his feet n kiss them, it brought so many memories and feelings back. 
i dont want to think bout them.
U reaaly need to be careful now, u need to explain him everything over n over again.. 3 years is a lot, things can be worked out even if u lied and didnt do good things.
Trust me, the journey which will come after he leaves u is going to be REALLY hard, ofcourse u get over it.. but try to solve things before they get worse
I really hope i could do somehting for u
Good luck
i dont want to think bout them.U reaaly need to be careful now, u need to explain him everything over n over again.. 3 years is a lot, things can be worked out even if u lied and didnt do good things.
Trust me, the journey which will come after he leaves u is going to be REALLY hard, ofcourse u get over it.. but try to solve things before they get worse
I really hope i could do somehting for u
Good luck
Reply 8
what did u actually do that was so bad apart from drugs?
Reply 9
I'm sorry I didn't go into much detail in my first post. That was because the truth is kind of messy and I didn't want to bore everyone wth those details.
More detail is, we have been together for 3 years but sometime around the new year, he split up with me for a month because his family were forcing us to end... after a year, their efforts to break us apart succeeded and we split for a month.
I was on the verge of going mad, I love him so much and he loved me, but we couldnt do anything because of our parents... but I was so angry that he split with me for it. I was so angry and tried to cheer myself up, so when my friend offered me to try drugs, I did. But I hated it and left it at that.
THen boyfriend and I got back together after much heartbreak.. and I didn't know whether to tell him about my little drug episode.. I kept it quiet because I didn't want to screw up a healing relationship. Now he found out from someone else and it broke his heart, he suspects me of cheating on him (which i havnt) and doesnt trust me... and its over. Im trying to win him back.. trying.
More detail is, we have been together for 3 years but sometime around the new year, he split up with me for a month because his family were forcing us to end... after a year, their efforts to break us apart succeeded and we split for a month.
I was on the verge of going mad, I love him so much and he loved me, but we couldnt do anything because of our parents... but I was so angry that he split with me for it. I was so angry and tried to cheer myself up, so when my friend offered me to try drugs, I did. But I hated it and left it at that.
THen boyfriend and I got back together after much heartbreak.. and I didn't know whether to tell him about my little drug episode.. I kept it quiet because I didn't want to screw up a healing relationship. Now he found out from someone else and it broke his heart, he suspects me of cheating on him (which i havnt) and doesnt trust me... and its over. Im trying to win him back.. trying.
Reply 10
generalebriety
If you're going to post anonymously, could you at least give us the details? Although this:
...might be more the reason why you split up.
Yeah, if your boyfriend is a trusting person. If not, no. Simple as that. Sorry. Three years is a long time, and if after that you can still do drugs and "things that aren't great" and, most importantly, lie to him, you're probably not worth trusting.
Although this:...might be more the reason why you split up.
Yeah, if your boyfriend is a trusting person. If not, no. Simple as that. Sorry. Three years is a long time, and if after that you can still do drugs and "things that aren't great" and, most importantly, lie to him, you're probably not worth trusting.
i appreciate your honesty, thankyou
Reply 11
Anonymous
I know how u feel, its soooooooooo hard to let someone go ur soo close to. When i read that u put ur forehead down to his feet n kiss them, it brought so many memories and feelings back. i dont want to think bout them.
U reaaly need to be careful now, u need to explain him everything over n over again.. 3 years is a lot, things can be worked out even if u lied and didnt do good things.
Trust me, the journey which will come after he leaves u is going to be REALLY hard, ofcourse u get over it.. but try to solve things before they get worse
I really hope i could do somehting for u
Good luck
i dont want to think bout them.U reaaly need to be careful now, u need to explain him everything over n over again.. 3 years is a lot, things can be worked out even if u lied and didnt do good things.
Trust me, the journey which will come after he leaves u is going to be REALLY hard, ofcourse u get over it.. but try to solve things before they get worse
I really hope i could do somehting for u
Good luck
thanks, i really will be trying
Reply 12
Just don't giveup, 3 years is a long relationship, there has to be something to salvage from that.
Reply 13
He's probably just shocked, he probably did not see you as a drug user, if it was a 1 off and you vow to clean up your act and plead to him you will he might take you back.
Don't be too hard on yourself, you made a mistake during a difficult period. If he is a decent guy he should be able to recognise that. Assure him you won't do it again and explain why it happened but don't feel the need to beg on your knees to him. Good luck and I hope you can sort this out.
The thing is you lied, not what you did/took.
I'm against drugs, bing drinking, getting trashed nightly etc however I know my boyfriends past of drugs, drink etc and he told me from the word go and assures me he doesn't do it anymore. If I found out he did I wouldn't trust him again.
I'm against drugs, bing drinking, getting trashed nightly etc however I know my boyfriends past of drugs, drink etc and he told me from the word go and assures me he doesn't do it anymore. If I found out he did I wouldn't trust him again.
Reply 17
I could do better than a liar and a drug user.
Your boyfriend probably thinks the same and he'd be right. Some things just aren't acceptable and for me two are using drugs and lying.
If your boyfriend thinks the same then good for him. Sounds like you need to sort your head out anyway ie how old are you? You sound young and impressionable/easily led.
And what friend would offer you drugs? My friends use drugs but they learned long ago not to ask me if I wanted any because the answer would always be no!
Get new friends or don't be such a weak person. Or admit that you like drugs and the high it gives you. But you know it only lasts for so long.
His parents probably didn't like you and I can see why...not that you sound very bad at all but there must be little signs...that you're not as good as their son could get.
Your boyfriend probably thinks the same and he'd be right. Some things just aren't acceptable and for me two are using drugs and lying.
If your boyfriend thinks the same then good for him. Sounds like you need to sort your head out anyway ie how old are you? You sound young and impressionable/easily led.
And what friend would offer you drugs? My friends use drugs but they learned long ago not to ask me if I wanted any because the answer would always be no!
Get new friends or don't be such a weak person. Or admit that you like drugs and the high it gives you. But you know it only lasts for so long.
His parents probably didn't like you and I can see why...not that you sound very bad at all but there must be little signs...that you're not as good as their son could get.
Reply 18
foxiroxi
The thing is you lied, not what you did/took.
I'm against drugs, bing drinking, getting trashed nightly etc however I know my boyfriends past of drugs, drink etc and he told me from the word go and assures me he doesn't do it anymore. If I found out he did I wouldn't trust him again.
I'm against drugs, bing drinking, getting trashed nightly etc however I know my boyfriends past of drugs, drink etc and he told me from the word go and assures me he doesn't do it anymore. If I found out he did I wouldn't trust him again.
Exactly.
OP: it must have been a difficult time you went through but as I said, in a long-term relationship like this, "not telling the whole truth" is often the same as "lying". I hope you get back together with him but really that depends on him... some people would trust you again, some wouldn't. He wouldn't be wrong for doing either - that's just him.
Reply 19
to be fair i kinda agree with him like i despise drugs like no other yet my bf has tried alot! i hate it but im not gna stop him experimenting! However once we went to ibiza and he did a pill - i kjnow its not liek omggg but yeah i went really mad beacuse he didnt tell me and it meant alot to me! its mroe the truth thing especially after 3 years
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