Girls- How do you deal with insecurities?
Anon please.
this is long but please read!
Girls how do you deal with all the insecurities you have? In terms of looks? For me, its getting to a point where i dont want to even leave the house in the morning to catch the bus to college. In my head, i'm convinced that all the people in the cars driving past me are looking at me and judging me on how pretty or ugly i am and this makes me feel very uncomfortable.
also, i think my insecurities are getting in the way of my social life. i hardly ever want to go out with my friends anymore and i think i'm too insecure to be in a relationship
its so depressing. but i think the fact that guys always stare at me but never come up and talk to me/ask me out adds to this. i dont understand why!?
in terms of looks, i have good days and bad days, i mean, somedays i think i look dog awful but then others days when i look in the mirror, i think wow is that really me? l typically i have more bad days than good days but
i mean, not to sound arrogant but my friends tell me i'm really pretty and even my teachers (past and present) have said i'm "beautiful" however, i always see past this, and no matter what, i'm always ashamed/scared to go out in public (but ALWAYS when i'm by myself- i never feel like this if i'm with someone) which is very weird. can any psychology students explain this?
so what i'm asking is, how do you cast all your own personal insecurities aside and not let them ruin your life?
any advice?
thank you
this is long but please read!
Girls how do you deal with all the insecurities you have? In terms of looks? For me, its getting to a point where i dont want to even leave the house in the morning to catch the bus to college. In my head, i'm convinced that all the people in the cars driving past me are looking at me and judging me on how pretty or ugly i am and this makes me feel very uncomfortable.
also, i think my insecurities are getting in the way of my social life. i hardly ever want to go out with my friends anymore and i think i'm too insecure to be in a relationship
its so depressing. but i think the fact that guys always stare at me but never come up and talk to me/ask me out adds to this. i dont understand why!? in terms of looks, i have good days and bad days, i mean, somedays i think i look dog awful but then others days when i look in the mirror, i think wow is that really me? l typically i have more bad days than good days but
i mean, not to sound arrogant but my friends tell me i'm really pretty and even my teachers (past and present) have said i'm "beautiful" however, i always see past this, and no matter what, i'm always ashamed/scared to go out in public (but ALWAYS when i'm by myself- i never feel like this if i'm with someone) which is very weird. can any psychology students explain this?
so what i'm asking is, how do you cast all your own personal insecurities aside and not let them ruin your life?
any advice?
thank you
Original post by Anonymous
Anon please.
this is long but please read!
Girls how do you deal with all the insecurities you have? In terms of looks? For me, its getting to a point where i dont want to even leave the house in the morning to catch the bus to college. In my head, i'm convinced that all the people in the cars driving past me are looking at me and judging me on how pretty or ugly i am and this makes me feel very uncomfortable.
also, i think my insecurities are getting in the way of my social life. i hardly ever want to go out with my friends anymore and i think i'm too insecure to be in a relationship its so depressing. but i think the fact that guys always stare at me but never come up and talk to me/ask me out adds to this. i dont understand why!?
in terms of looks, i have good days and bad days, i mean, somedays i think i look dog awful but then others days when i look in the mirror, i think wow is that really me? l typically i have more bad days than good days but
i mean, not to sound arrogant but my friends tell me i'm really pretty and even my teachers (past and present) have said i'm "beautiful" however, i always see past this, and no matter what, i'm always ashamed/scared to go out in public (but ALWAYS when i'm by myself- i never feel like this if i'm with someone) which is very weird. can any psychology students explain this?
so what i'm asking is, how do you cast all your own personal insecurities aside and not let them ruin your life?
any advice?
thank you
this is long but please read!
Girls how do you deal with all the insecurities you have? In terms of looks? For me, its getting to a point where i dont want to even leave the house in the morning to catch the bus to college. In my head, i'm convinced that all the people in the cars driving past me are looking at me and judging me on how pretty or ugly i am and this makes me feel very uncomfortable.
also, i think my insecurities are getting in the way of my social life. i hardly ever want to go out with my friends anymore and i think i'm too insecure to be in a relationship
its so depressing. but i think the fact that guys always stare at me but never come up and talk to me/ask me out adds to this. i dont understand why!? in terms of looks, i have good days and bad days, i mean, somedays i think i look dog awful but then others days when i look in the mirror, i think wow is that really me? l typically i have more bad days than good days but
i mean, not to sound arrogant but my friends tell me i'm really pretty and even my teachers (past and present) have said i'm "beautiful" however, i always see past this, and no matter what, i'm always ashamed/scared to go out in public (but ALWAYS when i'm by myself- i never feel like this if i'm with someone) which is very weird. can any psychology students explain this?
so what i'm asking is, how do you cast all your own personal insecurities aside and not let them ruin your life?
any advice?
thank you
I know it sounds cheesy, but I learnt to love myself and not give a **** about what people think. If they have a problem, that's their problem. They clearly have very little lives if they're willing to waste time and energy on judging me. I don't have a 10/10 face, but I wear make up and it makes me feel better. I used to hate my bum (I'm 36" hips but 25" waist and 5'2", so no trousers EVER fit), but now I've gotten over it (the petite section is there for a reason). If I do feel insecure, I wash my hair and have a mini spa day, wear makeup, buy a new top (RETAIL THERAPY). I'm not a psychology student, but I do have a generally happy outlook in this respect. If you need someone to talk to, inbox me.
I pretend that i'm beyonce 
Spoiler
(edited 10 years ago)
hi there,
Insecurity sucks I know from experience... it can be crushing but if it's just looks, here are some steps to take that helped me in that department
1. Realise that as much as you think about yourself, absolutely nobody is thinking that much about you. At all. Sounds harsh, but they really aren't. Even if you get stared at for 30 seconds after that the rude starer goes on with their day, and does not care about you at all. So why should you care so much about what they are thinking? Which is very unlikely to be about you for more than 5 seconds?
2. You can't tell what people are thinking about you unless they tell you (they might think you look great, they might think you look terrible, they might think you look like a horse, they might love the horse look on a girl etc etc people are weird and you just don't know)
3. You can't change what people think about you unless they ask you to change it.
4. People who don't know you might judge you but they don't know you. THEY DON'T KNOW YOU (lol I would yell this out in my head.. sounds crazy but it worked). And how you look is a very small part of who you are. And you probs won't see them ever again.
These things have helped me get over insecurities. Especially the first one, I realised how absurd it was to thing "omg everyone is interested in how bad I look today"
Because they weren't. At all, and then I stopped caring, and cared more about how I felt, and I was fine. Maybe when you are with someone, you don't feel like you are in the centre of someone's attention, and also you are distracted from others because you are paying attention to your friend?
Also pick 5 things you like about yourself and write them down and look at the list a lot. Good luck!
Insecurity sucks I know from experience... it can be crushing
but if it's just looks, here are some steps to take that helped me in that department1. Realise that as much as you think about yourself, absolutely nobody is thinking that much about you. At all. Sounds harsh, but they really aren't. Even if you get stared at for 30 seconds after that the rude starer goes on with their day, and does not care about you at all. So why should you care so much about what they are thinking? Which is very unlikely to be about you for more than 5 seconds?
2. You can't tell what people are thinking about you unless they tell you (they might think you look great, they might think you look terrible, they might think you look like a horse, they might love the horse look on a girl etc etc people are weird and you just don't know)
3. You can't change what people think about you unless they ask you to change it.
4. People who don't know you might judge you but they don't know you. THEY DON'T KNOW YOU (lol I would yell this out in my head.. sounds crazy but it worked). And how you look is a very small part of who you are. And you probs won't see them ever again.
These things have helped me get over insecurities. Especially the first one, I realised how absurd it was to thing "omg everyone is interested in how bad I look today"
Because they weren't. At all, and then I stopped caring, and cared more about how I felt, and I was fine. Maybe when you are with someone, you don't feel like you are in the centre of someone's attention, and also you are distracted from others because you are paying attention to your friend?
Also pick 5 things you like about yourself and write them down and look at the list a lot. Good luck!
Original post by Secretnerd123
I pretend that i'm beyonce
Also this.
It's not about pretending you're the bee's knees. Nobody is. Quite a lot of my confidence comes from having played around with my look (god that sounds naff) as much as I've liked. Not because I've found what 'works', I've just worked out that it doesn't really matter what I look like as long as I'm comfortable. Nobody cares if you don't look great. Most people don't see 'ugly' or 'pretty', they see your face, and that's all it is to them.
The other bit is just accepting my flaws as part of who I am and appreciating them. As weird as that sounds, I've gotten really comfortable with the way I look by just going "yep, that's there, I'm not particularly fond of it, but I'm gonna roll with it" and appreciating what I do like about how I look.
The other bit is just accepting my flaws as part of who I am and appreciating them. As weird as that sounds, I've gotten really comfortable with the way I look by just going "yep, that's there, I'm not particularly fond of it, but I'm gonna roll with it" and appreciating what I do like about how I look.
Well for me I had insecurities with my looks by always looking at what was good in others and only seeing the bad things in myself. For instance she is thinner and has long hair while I have a big nose... things like that. What worked for me was realising that I had a bad mindset for my looks, and upon realising that I tried to encouraged myself to think of some good features that I had; switching to a good mindset. It wasn`t an instant change bcos I was so use to thinking low of myself it was somewhat difficult to start thinking differently but eventually, one step at a time, I got better.
Its important to know that everyone has flaws in their looks: be it a pimple.... my bad mindset made them invisible but once I started thinking about the good things that I had I saw that everyone else has a good and bad in their looks.
What also helped me was when I found something good I tried to appreciate it like I have dark skin so colours looked good on it. I`m not saying you should wear tight clothes and low tops to make yourself feel better... this is what worked for me. Also looking for my celebrity look-a-like: i like to believe i share some features with kelly rowland.
These things worked for me, I dont know if they will work for you but i do hope it has helped you.
Its important to know that everyone has flaws in their looks: be it a pimple.... my bad mindset made them invisible but once I started thinking about the good things that I had I saw that everyone else has a good and bad in their looks.
What also helped me was when I found something good I tried to appreciate it like I have dark skin so colours looked good on it. I`m not saying you should wear tight clothes and low tops to make yourself feel better... this is what worked for me. Also looking for my celebrity look-a-like: i like to believe i share some features with kelly rowland.
These things worked for me, I dont know if they will work for you but i do hope it has helped you.
Original post by Anonymous
Anon please.
this is long but please read!
Girls how do you deal with all the insecurities you have? In terms of looks? For me, its getting to a point where i dont want to even leave the house in the morning to catch the bus to college. In my head, i'm convinced that all the people in the cars driving past me are looking at me and judging me on how pretty or ugly i am and this makes me feel very uncomfortable.
also, i think my insecurities are getting in the way of my social life. i hardly ever want to go out with my friends anymore and i think i'm too insecure to be in a relationship its so depressing. but i think the fact that guys always stare at me but never come up and talk to me/ask me out adds to this. i dont understand why!?
in terms of looks, i have good days and bad days, i mean, somedays i think i look dog awful but then others days when i look in the mirror, i think wow is that really me? l typically i have more bad days than good days but
i mean, not to sound arrogant but my friends tell me i'm really pretty and even my teachers (past and present) have said i'm "beautiful" however, i always see past this, and no matter what, i'm always ashamed/scared to go out in public (but ALWAYS when i'm by myself- i never feel like this if i'm with someone) which is very weird. can any psychology students explain this?
so what i'm asking is, how do you cast all your own personal insecurities aside and not let them ruin your life?
any advice?
thank you
this is long but please read!
Girls how do you deal with all the insecurities you have? In terms of looks? For me, its getting to a point where i dont want to even leave the house in the morning to catch the bus to college. In my head, i'm convinced that all the people in the cars driving past me are looking at me and judging me on how pretty or ugly i am and this makes me feel very uncomfortable.
also, i think my insecurities are getting in the way of my social life. i hardly ever want to go out with my friends anymore and i think i'm too insecure to be in a relationship
its so depressing. but i think the fact that guys always stare at me but never come up and talk to me/ask me out adds to this. i dont understand why!? in terms of looks, i have good days and bad days, i mean, somedays i think i look dog awful but then others days when i look in the mirror, i think wow is that really me? l typically i have more bad days than good days but
i mean, not to sound arrogant but my friends tell me i'm really pretty and even my teachers (past and present) have said i'm "beautiful" however, i always see past this, and no matter what, i'm always ashamed/scared to go out in public (but ALWAYS when i'm by myself- i never feel like this if i'm with someone) which is very weird. can any psychology students explain this?
so what i'm asking is, how do you cast all your own personal insecurities aside and not let them ruin your life?
any advice?
thank you
I moan about my problems on the student room
Original post by emilyjc17
screw anybody who doesn't like you - they are not worth your thoughts.
If someone doesn't like you, you could always send them this:
Original post by Mequa
If someone doesn't like you, you could always send them this:
Lmao! Brilliant.
Also OP, I focus on my good qualities. We all have insecurities, but most of the time nobody else even pays attention to the things you're insecure about. So focus on the things you LIKE about yourself, not the things you don't like.
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