Second date...is she intrested?
So I had this great first date, really enjoyed ourselves, she said how she had a great time and talked about 'a next time'.
Two days later, I see her, have a great time again (within a group), and later mentioned that the other night was good, and that we should do something again soon.
She replied;
"Yeah that would be, I just got to reach this deadline, and then this exam. I want to get passed them first.......but yeah we can do something afterwards".
In fairness, she is super busy. I work 40 hours a week, and I know she is busier than me, and really does need to complete this essay and prepare for this exam. Only thing is the exam is in about 2 weeks.
Can't help but feel she is just prolonging it so she doesn't have to turn the second date down?
But it's weird as she still really enjoys being around me, makes an effort to be around me in group settings, took a photo with me, texts me, etc...her interest doesn't seem to have waned.
In fairness, if she is a busy as she says she is, I can't work out when I would be able to see her anyway- there are a few days but both are the nights before her exam and deadline.
Should I chase up the idea of a second date next week, and try and arrange it for after her exam?
Two days later, I see her, have a great time again (within a group), and later mentioned that the other night was good, and that we should do something again soon.
She replied;
"Yeah that would be, I just got to reach this deadline, and then this exam. I want to get passed them first.......but yeah we can do something afterwards".
In fairness, she is super busy. I work 40 hours a week, and I know she is busier than me, and really does need to complete this essay and prepare for this exam. Only thing is the exam is in about 2 weeks.
Can't help but feel she is just prolonging it so she doesn't have to turn the second date down?
But it's weird as she still really enjoys being around me, makes an effort to be around me in group settings, took a photo with me, texts me, etc...her interest doesn't seem to have waned.
In fairness, if she is a busy as she says she is, I can't work out when I would be able to see her anyway- there are a few days but both are the nights before her exam and deadline.
Should I chase up the idea of a second date next week, and try and arrange it for after her exam?
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I think you should try, the signs are mostly good.
The thing is, I haven't been on too many dates, but after one of them it seemed very promising, she asked me when we would meet again, and so we did meet again for a second date, but right from the beginning of the second one she seemed different, much less interested in what I had to say. Surely enough, I never heard from her again...her interest waned. To be fair, I had no experience so I give myself credit for holding out that long.
I think give it a go but don't fantasize about what will or might be, live in the moment. Good luck.
The thing is, I haven't been on too many dates, but after one of them it seemed very promising, she asked me when we would meet again, and so we did meet again for a second date, but right from the beginning of the second one she seemed different, much less interested in what I had to say. Surely enough, I never heard from her again...her interest waned. To be fair, I had no experience so I give myself credit for holding out that long.
I think give it a go but don't fantasize about what will or might be, live in the moment. Good luck.
Original post by Get_Buckets
I think you should try, the signs are mostly good.
The thing is, I haven't been on too many dates, but after one of them it seemed very promising, she asked me when we would meet again, and so we did meet again for a second date, but right from the beginning of the second one she seemed different, much less interested in what I had to say. Surely enough, I never heard from her again...her interest waned. To be fair, I had no experience so I give myself credit for holding out that long.
I think give it a go but don't fantasize about what will or might be, live in the moment. Good luck.
The thing is, I haven't been on too many dates, but after one of them it seemed very promising, she asked me when we would meet again, and so we did meet again for a second date, but right from the beginning of the second one she seemed different, much less interested in what I had to say. Surely enough, I never heard from her again...her interest waned. To be fair, I had no experience so I give myself credit for holding out that long.
I think give it a go but don't fantasize about what will or might be, live in the moment. Good luck.
Yeah well this was my first ever date as well...so I have zero experience!
I will try again!
Original post by croag
tbh 2 weeks isn't very long - why not wait until then then ask her? She might be stressed with her exam, no point in rushing into things when she's trying to revise for it! I'm sure she's still interested but just preoccupied.
I might try again next week, and I will have a plan-time, place, day, etc and try and arrange it for after her exam.
I do feel like things could do with moving a bit faster though, if things are going to go anywhere- she leaves the country and the end of July, so really need to make he most if seeing each other.
Original post by Anonymous
So I had this great first date, really enjoyed ourselves, she said how she had a great time and talked about 'a next time'.
Two days later, I see her, have a great time again (within a group), and later mentioned that the other night was good, and that we should do something again soon.
She replied;
"Yeah that would be, I just got to reach this deadline, and then this exam. I want to get passed them first.......but yeah we can do something afterwards".
In fairness, she is super busy. I work 40 hours a week, and I know she is busier than me, and really does need to complete this essay and prepare for this exam. Only thing is the exam is in about 2 weeks.
Can't help but feel she is just prolonging it so she doesn't have to turn the second date down?
But it's weird as she still really enjoys being around me, makes an effort to be around me in group settings, took a photo with me, texts me, etc...her interest doesn't seem to have waned.
In fairness, if she is a busy as she says she is, I can't work out when I would be able to see her anyway- there are a few days but both are the nights before her exam and deadline.
Should I chase up the idea of a second date next week, and try and arrange it for after her exam?
Two days later, I see her, have a great time again (within a group), and later mentioned that the other night was good, and that we should do something again soon.
She replied;
"Yeah that would be, I just got to reach this deadline, and then this exam. I want to get passed them first.......but yeah we can do something afterwards".
In fairness, she is super busy. I work 40 hours a week, and I know she is busier than me, and really does need to complete this essay and prepare for this exam. Only thing is the exam is in about 2 weeks.
Can't help but feel she is just prolonging it so she doesn't have to turn the second date down?
But it's weird as she still really enjoys being around me, makes an effort to be around me in group settings, took a photo with me, texts me, etc...her interest doesn't seem to have waned.
In fairness, if she is a busy as she says she is, I can't work out when I would be able to see her anyway- there are a few days but both are the nights before her exam and deadline.
Should I chase up the idea of a second date next week, and try and arrange it for after her exam?
I understand your situation because I was once in your position. There's a few good tips you should consider taking from me. DON'T be too clingy and persistently message her and try to arrange another date-you guys seem like there's a spark between you so don't let this spark disappear by making her lose interest. Also, don't hold out too long either because then she'll start to think you've lost interest then she will too. My advice here is that, do speak to her often and hope she starts some conversations, if she does, then you're in, but most girls look for guys to start the conversation for various reasons... Girl reasons... So yeah, what I would do is talk about a second date, don't say any time or date, just say stuff like how you're "looking forward to the next time" and mention that you understand that she will be busy with her exams and can wait. Plus, 2 weeks isn't that long so use the conversation starter of asking her how her exam went. Talk to her about it unless she doesn't want to. Soon after he exam, talk about a second date and last but not least;
Good luck man
She sounds probably interested. Stress from essays/exams can take the focus off the such frivolities as dating. Perhaps she finds you attractive, but you aren't a high priority.
Then again, I've had several women ask (unprompted) for second dates on, or even after the date and then randomly change their minds. Women are fickle and irrational.
The only sensible thing to do is just to leave her to it, and get on with your life. Date others, don't think about her. If she's really interested she'll contact you and arrange a date.
Then again, I've had several women ask (unprompted) for second dates on, or even after the date and then randomly change their minds. Women are fickle and irrational.
The only sensible thing to do is just to leave her to it, and get on with your life. Date others, don't think about her. If she's really interested she'll contact you and arrange a date.
Thanks for the posts so far, some great advice so far.
Another concern I meant to put in the OP when she said "...but yeah we can do something afterwards" she said after a pause and a but of a mumble.
I dunno if I should read too much into that.
Another concern I meant to put in the OP when she said "...but yeah we can do something afterwards" she said after a pause and a but of a mumble.
I dunno if I should read too much into that.
Wait until her exam is over then ask again. You might get a 'yes', you might get a 'no'. If you pester her before the exam when she's specifically said not to, then you will almost certainly get a 'no'.
In the early stages of dating, it's better not to force things. Just wait and see and if not move on. Should you meet someone else amazing in the meantime then definitely don't avoid asking her out because of this first girl.
In the early stages of dating, it's better not to force things. Just wait and see and if not move on. Should you meet someone else amazing in the meantime then definitely don't avoid asking her out because of this first girl.
She either genuinely likes you and wants to wait till she can give you your full attention, or she isn't that bothered and is just putting it off.
In all fairness, if she wants to date you, she should make time for you. I know how hectic uni can get and I'm so involved with student affairs at uni, so the workload is double for me, but the thing is that, managing your time is a skill they teach you at uni and it seems she isn't grasping much is she? I say, since you really like her, you talk to her about how difficult this potential relationship is going to be for you if you can't see your girlfriend occasionally. A relationship needs to be a give and take not just a take and take you know! Who knows? She might be cool and actually understand! 
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Mollie_Butterfly
Wait until her exam is over then ask again. You might get a 'yes', you might get a 'no'. If you pester her before the exam when she's specifically said not to, then you will almost certainly get a 'no'.
In the early stages of dating, it's better not to force things. Just wait and see and if not move on. Should you meet someone else amazing in the meantime then definitely don't avoid asking her out because of this first girl.
In the early stages of dating, it's better not to force things. Just wait and see and if not move on. Should you meet someone else amazing in the meantime then definitely don't avoid asking her out because of this first girl.
I'm just worried that the gap will be too long. On Monday it will be a week since I've dated her, I'm seeing her on that day, but I won't mention anything as her deadline is the next day.
Then I won't see her till the next Monday, which I think she will have done the exam by then...but that's a whole two weeks since first dating her.
Bump 
I'd arrange it for after the exam, personally.
If she is putting it off because she doesn't like you, then nothing is lost, and if she just wants to give her full attention to you, then surely it's worth waiting for her?
If she is putting it off because she doesn't like you, then nothing is lost, and if she just wants to give her full attention to you, then surely it's worth waiting for her?
Original post by Maid Marian
I'd arrange it for after the exam, personally.
If she is putting it off because she doesn't like you, then nothing is lost, and if she just wants to give her full attention to you, then surely it's worth waiting for her?
If she is putting it off because she doesn't like you, then nothing is lost, and if she just wants to give her full attention to you, then surely it's worth waiting for her?
Should I talk about it before her exam though, and try and arrange it for after, or just wait till the exam is over?
Original post by Anonymous
Should I talk about it before her exam though, and try and arrange it for after, or just wait till the exam is over?
Yeah maybe talk to her before the exam, just so she knows you're still interested.
Original post by Maid Marian
Yeah maybe talk to her before the exam, just so she knows you're still interested.
Another thing, not sure I mentioned it already- she's leaves in July/august to return to France. I feel like things need to be moving faster to make the most of our time.
I've been following your posts for a while now... THE DRAMA 
From a girl's point of view:
If I really liked you even if I had an exam I would be so excited by the fact that you wanted to spend time with me that my eyes would be shielded from any work load I may have. I would make time to go on a date with you...
She has time to go out with you as a group quite a lot, so I feel like she's trying to find excuses all the time as to why she can't reply to your texts and why she can't go out with you. Whenever I'm put in a sticky situation I use work as my excuse.
I would say definitely don't rush her, she might be a little bit interested and is still trying to work out in her mind whether she could like you in that way. So give her time! There's nothing worse than being pushed into something you might not want because you haven't had enough time to think about it.
Let her do her exam and see if she brings it up again afterwards.
From a girl's point of view:
If I really liked you even if I had an exam I would be so excited by the fact that you wanted to spend time with me that my eyes would be shielded from any work load I may have. I would make time to go on a date with you...
She has time to go out with you as a group quite a lot, so I feel like she's trying to find excuses all the time as to why she can't reply to your texts and why she can't go out with you. Whenever I'm put in a sticky situation I use work as my excuse.
I would say definitely don't rush her, she might be a little bit interested and is still trying to work out in her mind whether she could like you in that way. So give her time! There's nothing worse than being pushed into something you might not want because you haven't had enough time to think about it.
Let her do her exam and see if she brings it up again afterwards.
Original post by jo7777
I've been following your posts for a while now... THE DRAMA
From a girl's point of view:
If I really liked you even if I had an exam I would be so excited by the fact that you wanted to spend time with me that my eyes would be shielded from any work load I may have. I would make time to go on a date with you...
She has time to go out with you as a group quite a lot, so I feel like she's trying to find excuses all the time as to why she can't reply to your texts and why she can't go out with you. Whenever I'm put in a sticky situation I use work as my excuse.
I would say definitely don't rush her, she might be a little bit interested and is still trying to work out in her mind whether she could like you in that way. So give her time! There's nothing worse than being pushed into something you might not want because you haven't had enough time to think about it.
Let her do her exam and see if she brings it up again afterwards.
From a girl's point of view:
If I really liked you even if I had an exam I would be so excited by the fact that you wanted to spend time with me that my eyes would be shielded from any work load I may have. I would make time to go on a date with you...
She has time to go out with you as a group quite a lot, so I feel like she's trying to find excuses all the time as to why she can't reply to your texts and why she can't go out with you. Whenever I'm put in a sticky situation I use work as my excuse.
I would say definitely don't rush her, she might be a little bit interested and is still trying to work out in her mind whether she could like you in that way. So give her time! There's nothing worse than being pushed into something you might not want because you haven't had enough time to think about it.
Let her do her exam and see if she brings it up again afterwards.
Haha, well if your interested in more drama, there's a thread a few pages back 'rumours spreading' or something like that
I.e having time to go out in a group- I get what your saying, though she has missed a few things lately because she's been busy, and the others that she's gone to, she's already committed too.
But yeah, I dunno the whole process is so LONG. It's just a bit exhausting! I don't really know where I'm at with it all either. I don't know whether to keep days free, just in case something happens, or what.
And she leaves the country in July/august, so if things do happen, they need to move faster!
Original post by Anonymous
But yeah, I dunno the whole process is so LONG. It's just a bit exhausting! I don't really know where I'm at with it all either. I don't know whether to keep days free, just in case something happens, or what.
But yeah, I dunno the whole process is so LONG. It's just a bit exhausting! I don't really know where I'm at with it all either. I don't know whether to keep days free, just in case something happens, or what.
That sentence right there makes it seem like she's stringing you along... In your words not mine :P
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