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Selective Mutism
Has anyone here heard of Selective Mutism or suffered from it as a child?
I'm intrigued by the 'childhood' anxiety disorder especially since boyfriend mentioned that he used to have it as a child.
"Selective mutism refers to selective silence in a child who speaks freely in very familiar situations. Children who demonstrate this condition appear comfortable and talkative with close family members. However, whenever people other than the closest family members are present, the child is quiet and shy. Some children avoid eye contact and do not communicate in any form with others. They often refrain from the use of gestures or changes in facial expression."
I've been doing some research and have been really moved by it all - there is so much we take for granted like being able to express ourselves without having a panic attack of some sort!
Has anyone been through this or know someone who has? Do you remeber a friend at school who would never (or hardly ever) speak to anyone?
I'm intrigued by the 'childhood' anxiety disorder especially since boyfriend mentioned that he used to have it as a child.
"Selective mutism refers to selective silence in a child who speaks freely in very familiar situations. Children who demonstrate this condition appear comfortable and talkative with close family members. However, whenever people other than the closest family members are present, the child is quiet and shy. Some children avoid eye contact and do not communicate in any form with others. They often refrain from the use of gestures or changes in facial expression."
I've been doing some research and have been really moved by it all - there is so much we take for granted like being able to express ourselves without having a panic attack of some sort!
Has anyone been through this or know someone who has? Do you remeber a friend at school who would never (or hardly ever) speak to anyone?
Reply 1
people in school i knew were quiet
we just called it shyness
we just called it shyness
Reply 2
Zeke
Reply 3
In fact it is much more than just 'shyness'. This is the type of ignorance which thousands of sufferers are attempting to stamp out so that they can be free from the overwhelming anxiety they experience non-stop.
Many individuals carry this disorder through adulthood because of the needed intervention not being provided for them. It isn't a case of the person not wanting to speak but of not being physically able to.
It is one way in which their anxiety is manifested.
Many individuals carry this disorder through adulthood because of the needed intervention not being provided for them. It isn't a case of the person not wanting to speak but of not being physically able to.
It is one way in which their anxiety is manifested.
Reply 4
I used to have a friend who never ever spoke. At all. I decided that to make her talk, the best thing would be to constantly talk to her and ask her questions. It worked, because now she is a loud, lively, friendly person. She said she was just scared to speak to anyone... 
Reply 6
i had it as a child.... as i grew up the selective mutism developed into shyness and even now i am still a bit shy. I hate it when people would think you are just shy........it really is so much more than that.
i remember not even answering the teacher or people in general etc when they asked me something. from my personal experience, i wouldnt want anyone to experience it, it is just awful.
I have found it a struggle to get where i am now and i feel so lucky for being able to speak to people freely.
i remember not even answering the teacher or people in general etc when they asked me something. from my personal experience, i wouldnt want anyone to experience it, it is just awful.
I have found it a struggle to get where i am now and i feel so lucky for being able to speak to people freely.
Reply 7
Jenn9th is back!
i had it as a child.... as i grew up the selective mutism developed into shyness and even now i am still a bit shy. I hate it when people would think you are just shy........it really is so much more than that.
Reply 8
someone has posted above me about it...........for more info google it dude
Reply 9
makecake
p.s. what does 'zeke' mean?
A kid from neighbours who got selective mutism after his dad died. Dont tell me you dont watch neighbours
Reply 10
I'm pretty sure one of the girls at my work experience had it. I was always friendly to her but she never answered back and only spoke to select people. It's a very interesting condition I agree!
Reply 11
I remember that up until I was about 13 I hid whenever relatives, workmen, or friends of my brother came round our house 
. Although I was very shy, I did have friends at school, but it was a group of people I had known since I was five and I didn't talk to other people. I think I've grown out of it for the most part after moving to a different area in year 8, but people still go on about how shy I am which makes me feel embarrassed and therefore shyer. Sometimes more confident people intimidate me. I find it impossible to speak to them, so I ignore them. I sort of pretend to be stuck up so they'll leave me alone, because it is better that making a fool of myself stuttering and blushing. In fact, most of my friends have told me that they did not like me until they got to know me, and although I can't blame people for thinking me arrogant it does upset me to think that loads of people hate me. It doesn't help having a southern accent and being of above average ability in a northern comprehensive though. I find that when talking with my parents and close friends, I can engage in noisy debate, but when I talk to other people I still mumble and have a bad vocabulary. But I can talk most of the time. I have got a job at a shop, I'm trying to force myself to be more confident . . . I think this is just normal shyness though for me, though, isn't it? Selective Mutism seems pretty much like an extreme of shyness, anyway.
(Did you like my weak attempt at bringing this ramble back on topic?)
. Although I was very shy, I did have friends at school, but it was a group of people I had known since I was five and I didn't talk to other people. I think I've grown out of it for the most part after moving to a different area in year 8, but people still go on about how shy I am which makes me feel embarrassed and therefore shyer. Sometimes more confident people intimidate me. I find it impossible to speak to them, so I ignore them. I sort of pretend to be stuck up so they'll leave me alone, because it is better that making a fool of myself stuttering and blushing. In fact, most of my friends have told me that they did not like me until they got to know me, and although I can't blame people for thinking me arrogant it does upset me to think that loads of people hate me. It doesn't help having a southern accent and being of above average ability in a northern comprehensive though. I find that when talking with my parents and close friends, I can engage in noisy debate, but when I talk to other people I still mumble and have a bad vocabulary. But I can talk most of the time. I have got a job at a shop, I'm trying to force myself to be more confident . . . I think this is just normal shyness though for me, though, isn't it? Selective Mutism seems pretty much like an extreme of shyness, anyway. (Did you like my weak attempt at bringing this ramble back on topic?)
My family are friends with one of the women who helps to run SMIRA, and I've helped out at the annual SMIRA meetings for the past 3 years. I help look after the children while the parents ask for advice and meet others who have the same problems. Because the children are so painfully shy, you have to try hard to get them to join in with games, or interact with other children. Some react better than others.
It's very upsetting to observe but it is curable - generally the younger a child is, the easier it is to overcome. Some of the older/worse affected children are not only SM, but have OCD and/or autism, which complicates things. Some siblings, especially twins/triplets, will ALL be silent, but others will have a sibling who is much louder and speaks 'for' them. The family dynamics are very interesting. And interestingly, bilingual children often seem to struggle, though I'm not sure research through SMIRA has proved any direct link yet.
I know what it's like to be shy and I suffer from panic attacks, so I empathise. The more people are aware of SM, the more research is done on it, and the better the reaction is from teachers and doctors. I've heard about some dreadful experiences parents have had, trying to get the condition recognised and treated properly. It's so much more than just 'being shy'!
It's very upsetting to observe but it is curable - generally the younger a child is, the easier it is to overcome. Some of the older/worse affected children are not only SM, but have OCD and/or autism, which complicates things. Some siblings, especially twins/triplets, will ALL be silent, but others will have a sibling who is much louder and speaks 'for' them. The family dynamics are very interesting. And interestingly, bilingual children often seem to struggle, though I'm not sure research through SMIRA has proved any direct link yet.
I know what it's like to be shy and I suffer from panic attacks, so I empathise. The more people are aware of SM, the more research is done on it, and the better the reaction is from teachers and doctors. I've heard about some dreadful experiences parents have had, trying to get the condition recognised and treated properly. It's so much more than just 'being shy'!
Reply 13
Anonymous
Has anyone here heard of Selective Mutism or suffered from it as a child?
I'm intrigued by the 'childhood' anxiety disorder especially since boyfriend mentioned that he used to have it as a child.
"Selective mutism refers to selective silence in a child who speaks freely in very familiar situations. Children who demonstrate this condition appear comfortable and talkative with close family members. However, whenever people other than the closest family members are present, the child is quiet and shy. Some children avoid eye contact and do not communicate in any form with others. They often refrain from the use of gestures or changes in facial expression."
I've been doing some research and have been really moved by it all - there is so much we take for granted like being able to express ourselves without having a panic attack of some sort!
Has anyone been through this or know someone who has? Do you remeber a friend at school who would never (or hardly ever) speak to anyone?
I'm intrigued by the 'childhood' anxiety disorder especially since boyfriend mentioned that he used to have it as a child.
"Selective mutism refers to selective silence in a child who speaks freely in very familiar situations. Children who demonstrate this condition appear comfortable and talkative with close family members. However, whenever people other than the closest family members are present, the child is quiet and shy. Some children avoid eye contact and do not communicate in any form with others. They often refrain from the use of gestures or changes in facial expression."
I've been doing some research and have been really moved by it all - there is so much we take for granted like being able to express ourselves without having a panic attack of some sort!
Has anyone been through this or know someone who has? Do you remeber a friend at school who would never (or hardly ever) speak to anyone?
I work with adults with autism.. a lot of them have selective mutism.. it's like one day they just decide they don't want to talk, maybe.. for e.g. they saw a blue car go past and that means its going to be a "bad day" therefore they do not want to talk.. very complex, but extremely fascinating also..
Reply 14
I go to a school for people with learning difficulties (i'm dislexic) and quite a few people there have it. One girl will talk to us but not any adults, another person will only speak to boys with brown hair (weird!!) and another will speak to noone. I think there are lots of differnt versions if you know what i mean.
Reply 15
I did a forest schools course recently. another girl who was training said that in her special school a child in her class was a selective mute. apparently as chatty as can be...but once she got to the school gates she'd close shop. However she would communicate using BSL, in particular the baby signing which is slightly different. I've trained in this and use it in a nursery and it works wonders. so while the older child may be a SM they can still communicate if they need to.
Reply 16
Yes... I think I might have it. I would classify myself as 'shy' generally, but there are situations around my friends and family (basically only) where I am not too shy and really quite chatty, and to outsiders looking in nobody would be able to guess. When I started college for the classes I was in with some of my friends from school I would be chatty (though only to them) but in the majority I barely said a word all year, I just feel blank, sometimes I have things to say and so desperately want to vocalise my feelings but feel totally unable to do that- not absolute mutism even in those situations as I will speak if asked a question, and it has improved through my A Levels.
Reply 18
I suffered from selective mutism until I was 11. Even though I'm 19 now I can honestly say that overcoming it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
I didn't even realise what it was, or that other people suffered from it until a couple of years ago. I think what made it so hard for me at the time was that I didn't receive any help or support. Both my parents and my teachers blamed me for it - assuming that it was something I was doing on purpose. Its not always as simple as "the reason I don't speak is _________", the emotions that accompany it are very complex and something that as a child I simply could not understand so certainly could not articulate.
I'm glad that there's been raised awareness of it recently especially with the internet. I'm hoping that things are a lot easier for children suffering with selective mutism today.
I didn't even realise what it was, or that other people suffered from it until a couple of years ago. I think what made it so hard for me at the time was that I didn't receive any help or support. Both my parents and my teachers blamed me for it - assuming that it was something I was doing on purpose. Its not always as simple as "the reason I don't speak is _________", the emotions that accompany it are very complex and something that as a child I simply could not understand so certainly could not articulate.
I'm glad that there's been raised awareness of it recently especially with the internet. I'm hoping that things are a lot easier for children suffering with selective mutism today.
Reply 19
^ I wasn't ever that severe, but it was certainly a milder form.
Edit: that is directed to the poster before the poster before.
Edit: that is directed to the poster before the poster before.
Related discussions
- Selective/situational mutism
- Sixth form help
- Family treating me like special needs
- Is anyone else like this? How do I fix it?
- Will the GP give me a medical note to help get a job?
- Does anyone else have selective mutism?
- I don't know how I'm going to finish my final year of uni
- i think my old therapist made me worse and now i don't know what to think
- How to socialise at university (function as a normal human being)?
- How will I ever get a job or function in daily life.
- Is it worth getting an autism diagnosis as an adult?
- Non selective
- University of Chester
- Application Course Query
- Gene Editing EPQ
- University of Reading
- English lit edexcel poetry a level
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- Marketisation and selection sociology
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