Can you forgive drunken cheating?

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Thatgirl__96
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#41
Report 1 year ago
#41
I am im the same situation right now.. except me and my significant other are engaged with a baby and are own house.. we were having a party the other night and everyone was very drunk. I finally went to sleep around 4:30am. My fiance and a few others decided to stay up. My friend decided to go to sleep in the guest bedroom where there is no door. And the room is 5 feer away from the lvimg room where there were 2 decent sized guys sleeping. She claims while she was sleeping someone possibly haf sex with her but sje isn't sure because she said the guy was small. Apparently he was thrusting and grunting. She was not unconscious and she remembers everything. She never looked at who was on top of her but she assumed it was my fiance. Which alot of things do point it back at him. His brother tells him 2 days later that he did this to the girl and as soon as he found out he told me. She claims that she was unwillinh anf didn't want it. Also she did not scream or try to fight the guy off she let him finish. She is also married and her husband was outside during this. My fiance claims thaf he was blacked out drunk and does not remember anything. Apparently she said that his brother passed the room and saw them but he didn't do anything. I need some advice big time! My family is at stake here and i don't know who is lying because her and my fiances brothers story keeps changing! At first my fiances brother said he saw them now he is saying he didn't see anything. Help!!!
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londonmyst
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#42
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#42
Sound like much ado about nothing to me.
All gossip originating from a bunch of drunks with hazy memories who can't actually remember what they saw, said, did or what anyone else did/said.

All the same I would be very wary of your friend who in essence is making a rape allegation without clearly naming the alleged rapist.
Her allegations have the potential to wreck your fiance's reputation at a time when he has no way of disputing anything alleged against him and has already said that he remembers nothing at all from that night.
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spiritualbeing
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#43
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#43
I would love to offer another persepctive seeing as a lot of these comments are coming off very judgemental and harsh.

I have been in a committed relationship that i adore and never ever thought or desired to cheat on someone. Our spiritual energies were always so connected and I was on such a high from the relationship. One night I was not thinking and having a good time with my friends and drank way too much and ended up making out with one of my friends. I dont remember who kissed who or how it started. I have flashes of the evening and in those flashes we were talking and being emotional. The only reason why I know we kissed is because of him kissing me on the cheek many times the next morning.

This is not the first time this has happened for me either and it only ever happens when I am black out drunk. Others that have seen me black out drunk have said it is like I am not there anymore and this id or survivalist mentality takes over.

I never wanted to cheat, i am not unhappy in my relationship, and i would have never kissed this person in my sober life. I know my boyfriend doesnt deserve that and no part of me had any intention of making him feel the way he now feels. Because my boyfriend knows my true heart and has seen the scary drunk version of me he understands. But this does not mean it has taken a severe hit to the trust in our relationship and hurts us both severely. Because we love each other deeply, we are choosing to work through it and fight for our relationship.

I do take full blame for the instance because like many said above... if I knew this was a possibility then I should have made a choice not to drink that much in the first place. I could have also communicated beforehand to both my boyfriend and the other guy involved and saved everyone a lot of hurt if this was something i truly wanted. But the reality is, sometimes we are human and neglect important decisions because we want to have fun and get drunk with our friends. And in moments of complete and utter darkness where we dont remember what we "want" becomes something else all together because a lower energy that we carry with us is feeding itself.

When coping with the situation i definitely feel like a part of me (this lower energy) betrayed myself ( my true form or higher energy). It wasnt me making those decisions and i dont remember any part of it. But it was me at the same time. It is hard to know how to move on from it. Like I said above, it will cause a lot of pain and be really difficult to work through. But it can be done if you both have an insane amount of love for each other and want to spend your life with each other. It is something you have to own up to but also give yourself grace for.

Everybody makes mistakes. No ones mistakes are worse or better than anothers. You just have to move forward and learn from the mistake. Make better choices before the instance... or it could mean you lose someone that means a lot to you. It really just depends. I totally can relate though. You are not alone.
Last edited by spiritualbeing; 1 year ago
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spiritualbeing
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#44
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#44
I would love to offer another persepctive seeing as a lot of these comments are coming off very judgemental and harsh. I have been in a committed relationship that i adore and never ever thought or desired to cheat on someone. Our spiritual energies were always so connected and I was on such a high from the relationship. One night I was not thinking and having a good time with my friends and drank way too much and ended up making out with one of my friends. I dont remember who kissed who or how it started. I have flashes of the evening and in those flashes we were talking and being emotional. The only reason why I know we kissed is because of him kissing me on the cheek many times the next morning. This is not the first time this has happened for me either and it only ever happens when I am black out drunk. Others that have seen me black out drunk have said it is like I am not there anymore and this id or survivalist mentality takes over. I never wanted to cheat, i am not unhappy in my relationship, and i would have never kissed this person in my sober life. I know my boyfriend doesnt deserve that and no part of me had any intention of making him feel the way he now feels. Because my boyfriend knows my true heart and has seen the scary drunk version of me he understands. But this does not mean it has taken a severe hit to the trust in our relationship and hurts us both severely. Because we love each other deeply, we are choosing to work through it and fight for our relationship.I do take full blame for the instance because like many said above... if I knew this was a possibility then I should have made a choice not to drink that much in the first place. But the reality is, sometimes we are human and neglect important decisions because we want to have fun. When coping with the situation i definitely feel like a part of me betrayed myself. It wasnt me making those decisions and i dont remember any part of it. But it was me at the same time. It is hard to know how to move on from it. Like I said above, it will cause a lot of pain and be really difficult to work through. But it can be done if you both have an insane amount of love for each other and want to spend your life with each other. It is something you have to own up to but also give yourself grace for. Everybody makes mistakes. No ones mistakes are worse or better than anothers. You just have to move forward and learn from the mistake. Make better choices before the instance... or it could mean you lose someone that means a lot to you. It really just depends. I totally can relate though. You are not alone.
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Hamster0123
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#45
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#45
I am in same situation but my boyfriend clearly turned back towards me what should I do to mak him come back I really love him
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zurriney
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#46
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#46
That's rape cause she didn't give consent to it
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LovelyMrFox
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#47
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#47
(Original post by zurriney)
That's rape cause she didn't give consent to it
This thread is 6 years old...
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YaliaV
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#48
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#48
Is someone deliberately resurrecting old threads?
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