The Student Room Group

Post-Graduation Depression. Am I alone?

I will try not to completely bore you with a massive story. I graduated from the University of Manchester in Mathematics in July 2013 and, like many others, the statistics and constant pressure of gaining a position straight after graduation has really been getting to me constantly since that momentous and proud day I wore the silly hat and graduated.

Since then, I have been applying constantly to graduate schemes/jobs/positions mostly for London and for the West Midlands as this was something myself and my girlfriend, who also graduated, had always wanted to do so we could have the chance to live with her.

At university I was a happy, energetic, determined and outgoing individual who always loved being with people (and the antics you get on at university) but also loved being successful and being stuck into the mathematical stuff I was doing. Since graduation, I have been everything but.

The constant rejections from companies, the feeling of failure, lack of support from family, arguments with anyone, everything you could think of. My current situation is that I am in depression. I feel like a complete failure having got nowhere even near my career aims. And I feel like I have completely wasted my last 9 months consistent applying and have probably wasted 3 years of my life getting a degree which I am may not be able to build upon.

My girlfriend has brilliantly got herself onto the Amey Leadership Rotational Graduate Scheme. I have never been prouder of her and am exceptionally happy. Unfortunately, worrying about the future and the fact us living together will not happen from now, this has only exacerbated my deepening depression and my down feelings. Nothing to do with her, my head is just all over the place.

I was just wondering if anyone is in a similar position? Has any advice? Or what I should do?

I am still applying for schemes but obviously it's now the back-end of recruitment and getting something for September 2014 is now looking exceptionally unlikely and making everything worse.

Am I alone?

Thanks.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 1
I wouldn't imagine you're alone, but I'll confirm that in two months.
Reply 2
Try not going to uni at all and not finding a job anywhere, even in a simple sandwich shop.
Even if you cant get a high end job straight away, find one in your ideal career and work from the bottom and straight to the top.
This is hypocritical coming from me but if you don't already it might be a good idea to atleast get a low paid part time non skilled job. It is better to look like you have been doing something and it could give you a leg up over someone in a similar situation to you has had no job.
This'll be me in 3 months. At least you have a girlfriend.
Reply 5
Original post by KCIrish20
I will try not to completely bore you with a massive story. I graduated from the University of Manchester in Mathematics in July 2013 and, like many others, the statistics and constant pressure of gaining a position straight after graduation has really been getting to me constantly since that momentous and proud day I wore the silly hat and graduated.

Since then, I have been applying constantly to graduate schemes/jobs/positions mostly for London and for the West Midlands as this was something myself and my girlfriend, who also graduated, had always wanted to do so we could have the chance to live with her.

At university I was a happy, energetic, determined and outgoing individual who always loved being with people (and the antics you get on at university) but also loved being successful and being stuck into the mathematical stuff I was doing. Since graduation, I have been everything but.

The constant rejections from companies, the feeling of failure, lack of support from family, arguments with anyone, everything you could think of. My current situation is that I am in depression. I feel like a complete failure having got nowhere even near my career aims. And I feel like I have completely wasted my last 9 months consistent applying and have probably wasted 3 years of my life getting a degree which I am may not be able to build upon.

My girlfriend has brilliantly got herself onto the Amey Leadership Rotational Graduate Scheme. I have never been prouder of her and am exceptionally happy. Unfortunately, worrying about the future and the fact us living together will not happen from now, this has only exacerbated my deepening depression and my down feelings. Nothing to do with her, my head is just all over the place.

I was just wondering if anyone is in a similar position? Has any advice? Or what I should do?

I am still applying for schemes but obviously it's now the back-end of recruitment and getting something for September 2014 is now looking exceptionally unlikely and making everything worse.

Am I alone?

Thanks.




Hey KCIrish20,

No you are not alone. I am in the same position as you.

I graduated last July from Aston University with a 2.1 in Politics with International Relations with an integrated placement year. I did EVERYTHING in university such as societies, peer mentoring and of course going out and being very social. I did two international placements the first one with ERASMUS studying in Turkey (best EVER) and then working for NGO's in palestine, west bank. I also have basic language skills in arabic. you think someone would want to employ me right? wrong. I have even been turned down to do volunteer work! can you believe it? they wanted someone with more experience.

To be honest, i blame my self a little. While everyone was busy applying for jobs in final year and over the summer, i was busy typing away doing my thesis or literally enjoying the novelty of being at home. I did an internship for 2 months with a embassy and then a god awful retail job over christmas. I can't tell you how much i was treated like **** and how every day I would cry to the way to work whilst my parents would drive. I quit after 3 weeks worth of work. I just couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't worth my sanity or tears.

Since then (3 months) i have been rejected from everywhere. I find myself slowly slipping into depression. I force myself to go back to sleep in the morning because i have nothing to do. My junk mail is full of rejections and i have no will to apply. Im such a pro i can look at job advertisements and know which ones i will get rejected from. I feel like i have wasted my months after gradation where i could have saved up £2000 and gone travelling but realistically i could never survive that horrible retail job and that wouldn't be enough to travel on anyway.

All my friends have graduate schemes with high end banks earning 30,000 some of my friends have jobs with SMEs and are on their 3rd job after graduation. But i am stuck at the same place. My family are ok but i sense they know i am living like a hermit. My PJs, lack of combed hair and non showering have slurred my days into a blur. but i can't help it.i feel helpless, mis-understood and to be honest, cheated by the system. It irritates me when i hear people say graduates should low skilled labour when we have lots of people wanting to do that anyway and why should a top graduate even do that?

My head is all over the place. I thought i would be moving out by now and renting somewhere with my best friend of other graduates and living in london and actually being an adult. but it hasn't worked out that way. don't get me wrong my parents are cool but sometimes its suffocating.

My parents have agreed to help me fund a masters course and i am applying in these weeks to Leeds. but i am under no illusion that i will be in the same boat when i graduate but with no many graduates saturating the market, its very appealing and its better to have one then not.

Everything you feel, i feel so (in a non-soppy way) and i see no end to it. I wish i did something more vocational or even applied earlier. my applications have been good but the response is 'too many people have applied' which basically means your good but not good enough.

I feel that a vast majority of people feel like this and it will be like this for many years to come. I find myself re-evaluating my life and wishing i went to drama school instead. I mean if we can get good degrees and end up like this then i should have followed my passion by going to drama school. the odds are the same for both.

But don't feel alone, i feel like that too. its a vicious cycle.

hope your feeling better reading this

x
The most important thing you have to do, is to know that it is normal to feel down in your situation and that with the current economic situation, you have fellow graduates all over Europe who are in the same boat. I can't give much advise, but some:
- Be happy you have a girlfriend and that she has a job, this is really important for you two and in a relationsship everyone will have a hard time. Support her, be open to her and let her see you are taking your mental health and your situation serious.
- Concerning low skilled labour: It can help to have a structure, to stay in a working mood. Don't see it as the end of your career, but as a way to get a reason to get up, to have structure and to keep you active, so that you are ready, when the job comes, you actually want to do!
- Maybe take online courses to stay in touch with your subject and get postitive feedback and feeling not so low.
- Get a hobbey. Ideally sport, because it makes you fit and get you focussing on something else. You need a backup net, which is not related to job search, but where you are just valued for who you are.

Sounds simplistic, but it helps.
KCIrish - welcome to real life buddy. And no you are not alone, I have been there, am there and suspect to be there for the foreseeable.

A bit about me? Graduated a few years ago now, 1st class hons in a technical subject from a respected uni, work experience to boot, hard-working etc. and learned quickly when I missed the graduate scheme boat that life wasn't to be as straight forward as I'd naively anticipated. I don't want to give too much away but I'm working for an SME in engineering in a "graduate" job which pays a pittance - yet I am put under enormous stress and responsibility on a daily basis from director level. Is it worth it? No, but bills need to be paid.

I have gained extra-curricular activities since Uni, teaching myself advanced IT applications, taking my already decent foreign language skills to the next level... apparently of little material interest to most employers.

So what has been missing for me? Direction quite simply. I have struggled since sixth form to know what I wanted to devote my working life to, this has manifested itself in two severely limiting ways:

- Educational and work history which hasn't been pre-designed for entry to a particular career path
- Lack of interest at interviews - regrettably I have never had the faintest bit of interest in any job I've ever interviewed for. The whole process has always been a complete and utter chirade for me where I feign interest for the sake of a highly paid job. It show through.

I'm not sure what advice I can give you though but to keep going. I have learned so much about myself in the past few years which I would not have learned if life and its bountiful opportunities were presented to me on a graduate scheme platter. I have had to struggle through low pay, poor conditions, doors being repeatedly slammed shut - all the while having to pick yourself up off the floor and deliver the following day. Its character building, I and you and anyone else with the drive will get to where they want to be, we just have to earn it from the bottom up. I don't know what I want to do in life yet but with the experience I have gained, each day I know a little bit more about what I don't want to do!
I graduated from Manchester last summer but I had depression throughout uni, so I've had to take some time out to be on tablets etc.

Now I'm feeling way better I'm applying again but noone replies. It's just really tough out there atm.

Just try to be positive and keep sending apps. Do stuff to lift your spirits. Join a gym etc? Start a blog. Make sure you don't hit a dead end.
Original post by KCIrish20
I will try not to completely bore you with a massive story. I graduated from the University of Manchester in Mathematics in July 2013 and, like many others, the statistics and constant pressure of gaining a position straight after graduation has really been getting to me constantly since that momentous and proud day I wore the silly hat and graduated.

Since then, I have been applying constantly to graduate schemes/jobs/positions mostly for London and for the West Midlands as this was something myself and my girlfriend, who also graduated, had always wanted to do so we could have the chance to live with her.

At university I was a happy, energetic, determined and outgoing individual who always loved being with people (and the antics you get on at university) but also loved being successful and being stuck into the mathematical stuff I was doing. Since graduation, I have been everything but.

The constant rejections from companies, the feeling of failure, lack of support from family, arguments with anyone, everything you could think of. My current situation is that I am in depression. I feel like a complete failure having got nowhere even near my career aims. And I feel like I have completely wasted my last 9 months consistent applying and have probably wasted 3 years of my life getting a degree which I am may not be able to build upon.

My girlfriend has brilliantly got herself onto the Amey Leadership Rotational Graduate Scheme. I have never been prouder of her and am exceptionally happy. Unfortunately, worrying about the future and the fact us living together will not happen from now, this has only exacerbated my deepening depression and my down feelings. Nothing to do with her, my head is just all over the place.

I was just wondering if anyone is in a similar position? Has any advice? Or what I should do?

I am still applying for schemes but obviously it's now the back-end of recruitment and getting something for September 2014 is now looking exceptionally unlikely and making everything worse.

Am I alone?

Thanks.


My boyfriend graduated from Bristol in Maths in 2012, took a gap year and has got every job he applied for since. I would widen your search to include the whole country, not be at all fussy about jobs, try things like media positions, maybe even trade unions (they're/recruiting in the West Midlands at the moment) etc. You shouldn't have any trouble as a maths grad and from the sounds of things getting into any line of work would do you good! Its all work experience and will add to your CV :smile:
Totally understand where you're coming from. Except I just finished a Masters and so have an extra 10k of debt to pay off (and the loan is not nearly as good as the standard student one).

I'm currently doing an unpaid internship and living with my girlfriend in London who thankfully has got a job that can support both of us and likes me enough (God knows why :P) to be willing and happy to do it.

It's tough. It's ridiculously tough and honestly all I can say is that no, you are definitely not alone. As of yet I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I think there's a fair amount of truth in what Exstudent12 says about direction.

I, perhaps like you, do not really know what it is I want from work. I constantly feel like I'm having to fake being interested, no matter what the job is.

Something that has helped is that I've started to look at jobs by industry rather than by job role. This has helped give a fresh outlook and could be worth a try. Before, I was looking for any and all positions related to marketing (my MA subject), no matter whether or not I was interested in the company itself. This of course shows in interviews.

Instead, recently I've been looking based on industry. I pick an industry I'm particularly interested in (e.g. consumer tech), then apply for anything they have going whether it's marketing or not. Once you're in a company that actually interests you you're in a much better position to get your favoured job role sometime down the line. And if you're in an interview where you actually give a rat's ass about what it is they do you are also likely to have a lot more luck.


Best of luck.
You're definitely not alone. I'm a 2012 grad who is now in a 3rd job since graduation (1 redundancy, 1 I quit and now my current one) - all have been min wage, low skilled jobs. The second one was just horrendous and I had a meltdown/existential crisis, hence why I quit.

I've stopped looking into grad schemes now but I've enrolled at college P/T alongside my job and I'm looking into becoming self-employed in a vocational sector. I feel now, with hindsight, that this is what I should have done when I was 16 but because I was an intellectual kid from a poor area my school encouraged me to do A-Levels/go to uni. But I'm more hands on than bookish - even though I could handle academics, I never enjoyed any of it.

I'm not looking to stay in min wage manual labour for the rest of my life but it's better than unemployment and for now it's at least bulking up my CV and keeping me occupied and otherwise away from insanity.
Original post by Anonymous
You're definitely not alone. I'm a 2012 grad who is now in a 3rd job since graduation (1 redundancy, 1 I quit and now my current one) - all have been min wage, low skilled jobs. The second one was just horrendous and I had a meltdown/existential crisis, hence why I quit.

I've stopped looking into grad schemes now but I've enrolled at college P/T alongside my job and I'm looking into becoming self-employed in a vocational sector. I feel now, with hindsight, that this is what I should have done when I was 16 but because I was an intellectual kid from a poor area my school encouraged me to do A-Levels/go to uni. But I'm more hands on than bookish - even though I could handle academics, I never enjoyed any of it.

I'm not looking to stay in min wage manual labour for the rest of my life but it's better than unemployment and for now it's at least bulking up my CV and keeping me occupied and otherwise away from insanity.


Similar-ish experience here. Its a massive learning curve the world of full-time work - quickly realised I wasn't owed a living and that re-calibrated a very negative self-entitled mindset I personally had for a very brief period from graduating. I've matured quite a bit since and actually challenged a few of my own priorities in life - I still want to earn a good living but I'm more understanding of what conditions I am willing to accept and what sacrifices and/or allowances I would make in pursuit of that living.
I am working but in a rubbish job, bad wages, cant get full time hours and I come home in tears every other shift I'm that miserable there...

however you have to try and find what you can to make you feel more fulfilled, sitting at home for 9 months wont make you employable it will make you look like someone who is only prepared to work at something they care about doing, and it becomes clear to new employers you've gone 9 months without a job offer which makes it look like there's a reason not to hire you - so get a job, ANY job

then start looking for something else to do with yourself, relevant voluntary experience, shadowing, placement, take up a new hobby or skill - so you feel like you're progressing and achieving

see if you can get career advice about your CV and interviewing skills from someone

expand your search for jobs to more sectors and more geographical area

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