I told my date I didnt like him and now I feel guilty Watch

ShyLife
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#1
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Hello,
I had been speaking to this guy online for a while and we really got on. I was attracted to him by his photo's and we got on so well. We had phone calls regularly and decided to meet up for a date.

I met him and we went for a nice walk and a meal. He was a lovely guy, but I just didn't feel the connection I thought I would. I didn't really feel any attraction to him at all sexually. So the date went on and in the end we parted ways. I got home and thought I best tell him how I feel. I told him he was a lovely guy and really likeable, but I just didn't feel the connection I expected. He said it's fine and that he'd rather I tell him than lead him on. We haven't spoken anymore and I just feel really guilty. I would be devastated if someone told me that. And it's worse because he even bought me dinner and expressed how much he liked me. I just cant stop thinking about it. I don't like drama or anything like that and I feel quite upset. Any advice? thanks for reading.
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throwmeaway1102
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You did the right thing. You gave him a try, told him politely and he responded in a similar way. While it's a shame you didn't feel a connection, there's nothing you can do about that and you handled it in the best way possible.

Don't feel guilty - anyone I know would rather be told at that stage than be 'led on', as you say. Best of luck!
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akfc
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(Original post by ShyLife)
Hello,
I had been speaking to this guy online for a while and we really got on. I was attracted to him by his photo's and we got on so well. We had phone calls regularly and decided to meet up for a date.

I met him and we went for a nice walk and a meal. He was a lovely guy, but I just didn't feel the connection I thought I would. I didn't really feel any attraction to him at all sexually. So the date went on and in the end we parted ways. I got home and thought I best tell him how I feel. I told him he was a lovely guy and really likeable, but I just didn't feel the connection I expected. He said it's fine and that he'd rather I tell him than lead him on. We haven't spoken anymore and I just feel really guilty. I would be devastated if someone told me that. And it's worse because he even bought me dinner and expressed how much he liked me. I just cant stop thinking about it. I don't like drama or anything like that and I feel quite upset. Any advice? thanks for reading.
perfect way to end things....move on
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jenkinsear
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(Original post by ShyLife)
x
You did the best thing you could do which was be honest. A lot of people aren't that good to people who they date so you ought to be commended for treating him properly.
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Solemn Rain
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I don't see where the problem is?:confused: The president approves of your honourable decision. Life goes on.
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username1150116
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Doing this is much better than forcing yourself into a relationship you don't want to be in. Trust me, I know from experience. You absolutely did the right thing.
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rachiriot
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You did the right thing, right now he probably is feeling a little down, his confidence may have been knocked a bit, but that would have been unavoidable. It would have been worse if it were a few dates down the line and he'd had the time to have even more feelings for you!
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jco19
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No don't feel guilty. You did the right thing.

I think most people can tell when they're being led on, but if they like the person, they'll often put up with it anyways in hopes that the person leading on will eventually come around. This results in ridiculously fake conversations, perhaps 1 or 2 more 'get togethers' (the person leading on will never call it a date) and when you ask about the status of things all you get is cryptic garbage. Sometimes it gets to the point that they'll call you a friend, but they'll mysteriously never introduce you to their other friends. Once they've settled on someone else, that's it - you never hear from them again. It's a waste of time for both people.
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Standard Procedure
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As a guy, he's probably hurting a little bi right now, but he'll get over it. You have nothing to feel bad about.
Leading him on, or not letting him know how you really feel would have only causes confusion and ultimately more hurt for him.
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Xyloid
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It sucks and i'm sure he was upset but you handled it very well and don't have anything to feel guilty about.

The fact that you feel guilty just highlights that you're likely a really lovely, caring person. A lot of girls would have handled it far worse than you have.
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Comus
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(Original post by ShyLife)
Hello,
I had been speaking to this guy online for a while and we really got on. I was attracted to him by his photo's and we got on so well. We had phone calls regularly and decided to meet up for a date.

I met him and we went for a nice walk and a meal. He was a lovely guy, but I just didn't feel the connection I thought I would. I didn't really feel any attraction to him at all sexually. So the date went on and in the end we parted ways. I got home and thought I best tell him how I feel. I told him he was a lovely guy and really likeable, but I just didn't feel the connection I expected. He said it's fine and that he'd rather I tell him than lead him on. We haven't spoken anymore and I just feel really guilty. I would be devastated if someone told me that. And it's worse because he even bought me dinner and expressed how much he liked me. I just cant stop thinking about it. I don't like drama or anything like that and I feel quite upset. Any advice? thanks for reading.
There's nothing to fell guilty about. While I admire your empathy, at the end of the day you have to do what's right for you.
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meenu89
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Much better than letting him think that there could be something between you two. Never feel guilty, he would have done the same if he felt the same.
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