27, Virgin, Always been single, And hate females.

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johnsonn
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Title says it...

Being single is just a normal part of life, just as much as having no self esteem and no self worth, just as much as no girl wanting to kiss you, touch you, or spend time with you...

That to me is life, just deal with it. that's normal, everyone has to put up with ****, this is my ****...

No matter who you go to for help, they always have an opinion. That opinion seams so fake unreal, and almost so offensive because it come from someone who has been fulfilled sexually, emotionally, at least had some sort of embrace of passion.

I used to love hanging out with girls I was raised by so many of them, now. It puts me on edge to be around them unless I'm inebriated in one sense or another. When I can feel free.

Otherwise I hate they way I feel around them, it puts me on edge I feel like I have to constantly be on guard like I'm a business selling its only product and it's either sink or swim... It seams so trivial to you though. What I hate most about me is why is passion embedded so deep in me. I wish I could cut it out get rid of it and live a normal life, but my head is programmed to think this way.

I'm meant to be a man yet I can't go out and get the one thing that my brain is craving, that my hormones crave, that my DNA is telling me to get... I have to suppress all that. It makes me feel like I'm in child in a sea of men, I have no chance. Which makes me feel undesired, unneeded, unwanted, a failure.

I could wait till I get older 30's get a steady job after my degree get a girlfriend, but there this voice in my head saying why couldn't I get a girl 5 yeas ago? is it because they could of done better then? Looks where better then, everyone looks better when they are younger, Is it because they where with guys better looking that me? I feel like I'm gonna be someone who just get left with the leftovers (It sounds vile to talk about a woman like that, I know but its the twisted way my brain thinks) You hear it, I deal with it. I wish I could cut sex/lust/passion/attraction/love out of my brain.

I hate the fact everyone can be so open about it, can run around and have sex so casually it feels like real star-crossed love is dead. But I can not comment. I don't know what love is. And at 27 this scares me the most as much as I don't think I can love properly. I have bad Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Night terrors which I'm almost 99% sure is due to being alone.

I have not been myself for such a long time I don't know what being myself feels like. I have been dead for a while, for so long I feel like I'm not real, because I'm not who I was. I haven't been who i was for 10 years.

I'm not depressed, I'm alone emotionally, physically and sexually. No pill that the doctor tries to prescribe me can fix that.

You really think that getting out more, socializing fixes this? Would socializing fix that fact I'm 5.0ft and unattractive? This feeling been there ever since my hormones switched on forcing me to feel something I can't express. I don't want to end up being one of them 60 year old desperate guy in Thailand going after young girls, I would rather slit my wrists but I feel that's the way I'm going. No one plans to be a drug addict, but bad **** just happens.

My friends don't know this, I am not gonna tell them, they can not replicate or synthesize this feeling. I'm always the one to listen to them and sympathize and be happy, to have fun with. I Would not want them to hear this about me.

I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man. I couldn't pull a skinny girl in a tug of war, let alone get one to kiss me.

What should I do?

Apart from get a cat....
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Straight up G
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Go to the gym. Turn your life around. Don't make excuses.
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rachiriot
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It seems you don't have that much confidence, and I really hope this doesn't come across as harsh but maybe in a way you put off ladies getting to know you in that way because of that? I've been alone for a while but I'm cool with it, I'm just focusing on other aspects of my life. There's many huge parts of life to for-fill other than sex and relationships and whilst you may be lacking in one aspect of your life, it's important to throw all of your energy into other aspects of your life until the right person comes along. It will happen eventually, it may feel like it's never gunna happen but it will! So you're studying for a degree, but all your energy into it and get an awesome grade. Over the summer, if you can afford to, try do a little bit of travelling! I'm broke, so I'll only be doing a little bit of travelling within the UK, but it'd be something fun that will make you feel better about yourself, get you out in the world and meeting new people!

In this mean time, have you thought about joining the gym? That's not to say a lady won't fall for you how you are, but it could be something that you'd really enjoy and make you feel better about yourself! I took up swimming
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Bassetts
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In before all the fake replies like 'you will meet the right girl one day', 'be confident in yourself, looks don't matter' and all the crap that people post.

These are one of those times that no amount of words will ever help your life circumstances. Are you only 5 foot tall? That must be absolutely dreadful for any man.
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PizzaCrusts
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Truth is, women primarily go for looks. If you say this it will always be you're fault, it couldn't be that they are shallow just like us (actually even more so)

Being 5ft and unattracrive is pretty much game over, I won't sugarcoat it, I would get limb lengthening surgery and elevator shoes if I was you.

Sorry I don't have any good news
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Клейтон
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(Original post by johnsonn)
Title says it...

Being single is just a normal part of life, just as much as having no self esteem and no self worth, just as much as no girl wanting to kiss you, touch you, or spend time with you...

That to me is life, just deal with it. that's normal, everyone has to put up with ****, this is my ****...

No matter who you go to for help, they always have an opinion. That opinion seams so fake unreal, and almost so offensive because it come from someone who has been fulfilled sexually, emotionally, at least had some sort of embrace of passion.

I used to love hanging out with girls I was raised by so many of them, now. It puts me on edge to be around them unless I'm inebriated in one sense or another. When I can feel free.

Otherwise I hate they way I feel around them, it puts me on edge I feel like I have to constantly be on guard like I'm a business selling its only product and it's either sink or swim... It seams so trivial to you though. What I hate most about me is why is passion embedded so deep in me. I wish I could cut it out get rid of it and live a normal life, but my head is programmed to think this way.

I'm meant to be a man yet I can't go out and get the one thing that my brain is craving, that my hormones crave, that my DNA is telling me to get... I have to suppress all that. It makes me feel like I'm in child in a sea of men, I have no chance. Which makes me feel undesired, unneeded, unwanted, a failure.

I could wait till I get older 30's get a steady job after my degree get a girlfriend, but there this voice in my head saying why couldn't I get a girl 5 yeas ago? is it because they could of done better then? Looks where better then, everyone looks better when they are younger, Is it because they where with guys better looking that me? I feel like I'm gonna be someone who just get left with the leftovers (It sounds vile to talk about a woman like that, I know but its the twisted way my brain thinks) You hear it, I deal with it. I wish I could cut sex/lust/passion/attraction/love out of my brain.

I hate the fact everyone can be so open about it, can run around and have sex so casually it feels like real star-crossed love is dead. But I can not comment. I don't know what love is. And at 27 this scares me the most as much as I don't think I can love properly. I have bad Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Night terrors which I'm almost 99% sure is due to being alone.

I have not been myself for such a long time I don't know what being myself feels like. I have been dead for a while, for so long I feel like I'm not real, because I'm not who I was. I haven't been who i was for 10 years.

I'm not depressed, I'm alone emotionally, physically and sexually. No pill that the doctor tries to prescribe me can fix that.

You really think that getting out more, socializing fixes this? Would socializing fix that fact I'm 5.0ft and unattractive? This feeling been there ever since my hormones switched on forcing me to feel something I can't express. I don't want to end up being one of them 60 year old desperate guy in Thailand going after young girls, I would rather slit my wrists but I feel that's the way I'm going. No one plans to be a drug addict, but bad **** just happens.

My friends don't know this, I am not gonna tell them, they can not replicate or synthesize this feeling. I'm always the one to listen to them and sympathize and be happy, to have fun with. I Would not want them to hear this about me.

I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man. I couldn't pull a skinny girl in a tug of war, let alone get one to kiss me.

What should I do?

Apart from get a cat....
(It's not often I say this to another male) But sweetie, we're gonna need to get you some help!
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Black Cat
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I could kind of see why you're single most women prefer taller men you just have to find a genuine person who appreciates your attributes and qualities. What is it like usually when you interact with women how do they treat you? My best friend is very short 5"3 and people always mistake him for a 12 year old whilst hes 20 based on first impression. He has a girlfriend and is quite successful with the ladies.
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Toaster Leavings
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Well I'm 28 so older than the majority of users on here. I took an interest back when I was studying my Masters and occasionally browse through the site when bored generally to be disgusted by today's youth.

Anyway I rarely post now but I felt as you're of a similar age to me you might respect my opinions more so thought I could be helpful to you.

I can't empathise with the sexual frustration. However there is no chance being a virgin is the real issue here. You seem to struggle with emotional reasoning and I think you need to see a therapist so they can help you learn techniques to be more rational and self-accepting.

Your inability to find a nice girlfriend is going to be closely related to your mental problems as emotional ****wittery and chronically low self-worth is a major red flag for men and women seeking fulfilling relationships.

Address your emotional issues and your so-called 'ugly' appearance will be a minor or non-existent complaint.

So, in short, get to GP and see a therapist. You might even benefit from medication in the short term for your panic and anxiety. You sound anti-meds in your post, which always strikes me as odd when people have been prescribed something to improve their lives. I've had anti-depressants in the past and they proved highly useful. Anyway, a therapist is the long term fix. In the meantime try some CBT online on websites like Moodgym. There is really no point trying to get a girlfriend in your current state of mind. You wouldn't even be happy, I guarantee it.

Also the height issue might put you on the back foot but it is hardly a deal breaker. I had a huge crush on a 5'2 bloke once. He was only average looking too but charming and confident. I wasn't the only one he made melt.
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rachiriot
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(Original post by Bassetts)
In before all the fake replies like 'you will meet the right girl one day', 'be confident in yourself, looks don't matter' and all the crap that people post.

These are one of those times that no amount of words will ever help your life circumstances. Are you only 5 foot tall? That must be absolutely dreadful for any man.
If honey boo boo's mum can find someone, anyone can! hahahaha
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Ribbit1234
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Get help. Lose weight go to the gym. I hate when fat people complain about being fat and dont do anything about it
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NathanW18
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(Original post by Bassetts)
In before all the fake replies like 'you will meet the right girl one day', 'be confident in yourself, looks don't matter' and all the crap that people post.

These are one of those times that no amount of words will ever help your life circumstances. Are you only 5 foot tall? That must be absolutely dreadful for any man.
Pretty much this.

OP, as someone that's going through similar experiences to you (only 3 years younger), I understand how annoying it can be when people offer their 'advice'. They have no idea what it's like to be an older inexperienced man. Nothing they say is useful. It is hard to expect someone that hasn't gone through the same to offer good advice. They just can't understand it from your point of view.

You talk about waiting until you're 30. Nothing is going to change when you're 30. It will just get worse. Saying that it will happen in a few years is just ignoring the problems and hoping for some kind of miracle. I did the exact same thing and I'm still in the same position. That **** doesn't happen for men. You can't sit around and wait for someone to approach you. Nobody is going to do it.

You're off to a very bad start and need to begin changing as soon as possible. You have being unattractive and short that holds you back. You have to make up for that somehow. The, "be confident" advice is bull****. You need to experience some kind of external validation to become confident. This can be very hard to get when you're older. Most get it in their teens or early 20's at the latest. There are also men that will just never get into a relationship. If you haven't at this age, you're less likely to do so in the future. I'm heading the exact same way.

Putting yourself out there is the only way that you can start to begin attaining some confidence. Much harder to do when you're suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. You should be looking to fix these first. Getting a girlfriend won't make them magically disappear. Your OP sounds very anti-meds, but they do help. If you don't want to try meds, you should at least seek out therapy.
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Huskaris
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Good luck mate.

Whatever happens I hope you get whatever help you need and get some confidence back in yourself.
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nocoolusername
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Go to the gym and put yourself in situations where you have to talk to girls. Develop your self confidence.

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pmc:producer
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(Original post by Bassetts)
In before all the fake replies like 'you will meet the right girl one day', 'be confident in yourself, looks don't matter' and all the crap that people post.

These are one of those times that no amount of words will ever help your life circumstances. Are you only 5 foot tall? That must be absolutely dreadful for any man.
You totally missed the point, and remember the golden rule - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It works a treat.

(Original post by PizzaCrusts)
Truth is, women primarily go for looks. If you say this it will always be you're fault, it couldn't be that they are shallow just like us (actually even more so)

Being 5ft and unattracrive is pretty much game over, I won't sugarcoat it, I would get limb lengthening surgery and elevator shoes if I was you.

Sorry I don't have any good news
Lies, lies, lies. You know nothing about relationships if you think being 'unattractive' (which is purely subjective) and 5ft tall are the deciding factors when entering in to a relationship - for some they may, but does the OPreally want a girlfriend who's that shallow?

(Original post by Toaster Leavings)
Well I'm 28 so older than the majority of users on here. I took an interest back when I was studying my Masters and occasionally browse through the site when bored generally to be disgusted by today's youth.

Anyway I rarely post now but I felt as you're of a similar age to me you might respect my opinions more so thought I could be helpful to you.

I can't empathise with the sexual frustration. However there is no chance being a virgin is the real issue here. You seem to struggle with emotional reasoning and I think you need to see a therapist so they can help you learn techniques to be more rational and self-accepting.

Your inability to find a nice girlfriend is going to be closely related to your mental problems as emotional ****wittery and chronically low self-worth is a major red flag for men and women seeking fulfilling relationships.

Address your emotional issues and your so-called 'ugly' appearance will be a minor or non-existent complaint.

So, in short, get to GP and see a therapist. You might even benefit from medication in the short term for your panic and anxiety. You sound anti-meds in your post, which always strikes me as odd when people have been prescribed something to improve their lives. I've had anti-depressants in the past and they proved highly useful. Anyway, a therapist is the long term fix. In the meantime try some CBT online on websites like Moodgym. There is really no point trying to get a girlfriend in your current state of mind. You wouldn't even be happy, I guarantee it.

Also the height issue might put you on the back foot but it is hardly a deal breaker. I had a huge crush on a 5'2 bloke once. He was only average looking too but charming and confident. I wasn't the only one he made melt.
Spot on advice. There really isn't much more that can be said on this forum that will trump this.

OP - you've picked the wrong place to come for the type of advice you need. A lot of people (not quite the majority) I've came across on here live in a fantasy world of University league tables. They don't have life experience (with most of them are still in high school with their only worry being what A-Levels will get them an interview at Oxbridge).

You need professional help - which isn't a bad thing and shouldn't be looked at as such. Your height or looks aren't important - people with dwarfism (I know, I know, not very PC!) get married and live a happy life! And what's unattractive to one person may be attractive to another. Besides, your opinion on yourself stems from your low self-esteem/confidence/awareness issues - sort the emotional stuff out and the rest will fall in to place.

EDIT: Good luck!
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puma21
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Gym to get a decent looking body, most guys bodies look rubbish these days that's no excuse for you. Lifting would also improves your posture and muscular imbalances, on top of other things like building confidence.

Get all of your stuff together like your job, finances and home. Mainly for peace of mind.

You sound like you've got too much free time, take up some hobbies.

If being a virgin is bothering you, bang a prostitute there's no shame just get it done. Ignore the usual nonsense on this site that doesn't contribute to your situation e.g looks don't matter, be yourself, there's someone out there. Also if you want a girlfriend you've got to start talking to more women, talk to at least 3 a day and you don't have to be attracted to them. It would build up your confidence with women, so when you find one you do like you want sound like a prat.
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doctordee
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Work hard, get a job that'll give you loads, make a good living, go the gym and build your self esteem up too, maybe even do so e therapy, I'll guarantee this will change your life
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Катя
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(Original post by PizzaCrusts)
Truth is, women primarily go for looks.
I swear this is what men do.
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redferry
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Not only are you short but you are also underconfident and above all BITTER. Its not a good combo. Make some positive changes in your life. I know 3 short guys and all except 1 have or have had relationships. All you need is confidence and to be happy in yourself is not bitter and dependent on women for your happiness
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Lotus_Eater
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(Original post by NathanW18)
OP, as someone that's going through similar experiences to you (only 3 years younger), I understand how annoying it can be when people offer their 'advice'. They have no idea what it's like to be an older inexperienced man. Nothing they say is useful. It is hard to expect someone that hasn't gone through the same to offer good advice. They just can't understand it from your point of view.
I get slightly pre-emptively vexed at anyone who posts a long question on an ADVICE FORUM and then complains about the advice they then get. The Student Room is not a conference of world-renowned experts in psychology. It is, however, a self-selected group of young people with fairly typical perspectives on relationships. And given that the OP wants to form relationships with young people, taking seriously what we have to say might actually be a good thing.

The OP has some complicated problems. If he doesn't want professional intervention then literally all he can do is exactly what people have advised: try to improve his material/physical circumstances and adopt a more positive mindset.

There isn't a great mystery in how to turn your life around. That isn't to say it's easy, but equally there isn't some hidden secret that's known only to TSR. I quite understand why the OP blames his malaise on being single but there is simply no way he is going to attract people when depressed. I hope he takes some of the advice being offered here. It is sensible and genuinely could help if he approaches it in a spirit of optimism and positivity.
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Pride
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(Original post by Bassetts)
In before all the fake replies like 'you will meet the right girl one day', 'be confident in yourself, looks don't matter' and all the crap that people post.

These are one of those times that no amount of words will ever help your life circumstances. Are you only 5 foot tall? That must be absolutely dreadful for any man.
But those things are mostly true. Well obviously looks are a factor, but still, not the only one, and not necessarily the most important one.

OP, this is a silly thread. Pull yourself together and find someone. Making a long thread moaning about it won't help. You're acting as if the world revolves around you. You'll look back at this post in 10 years and think, blimey what was I thinking?
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