When I graduate, I don't want to attend my graduation ceremony. Is this a bad thing? Watch

Bassetts
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I haven't enjoyed university and when it comes to graduating in June, I don't want to attend my graduation ceremony. All the collecting my graduation certificate, dressing in a gown and hat, posing for photos, throwing your hat in the air in that stupid photo. Everything about it sickens me and I can't bear to attend. I want to graduate quietly, leave and not attend these farty ceremonies because frankly, university has not been an enjoyable experience in my life and I will be glad to see the back of it.

Is this a bad thing? Will I look back and regret this because I have no photos to look back on the memories? I don't see the point in attending if I never enjoyed university in the first place.
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Leftee
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If you never enjoyed your time at University then surely nostalgia isn't something you should worry about as photos of graduation would only have negative connotations..?

I personally think it would be a shame not to, but you shouldn't feel pressured to partake either.
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DMBP
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A family friend graduated last year and she didn't attend the ceremony. And she did enjoy her time there! So I wouldn't worry about not going as it's not for everyone anyway.
And if you haven't enjoyed your time there surely photos and memories of it are not something you will miss a whole lot?
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jonathanemptage
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then don't you don't have to

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Katie_p
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I don't want to. And when I tell people, the first thing they say is, "but don't you owe it to your parents?"
What's with that?!
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mabw
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(Original post by Katie_p)
I don't want to. And when I tell people, the first thing they say is, "but don't you owe it to your parents?"
What's with that?!
I did that. I also rejected the Sweet sixteen party, married abroad without one family member or guest for that matter. The idea of the performance and being the center of attention sickened me too. But you know what happened next? I saw my father's face. He didn't get to walk me down the isle, or take his photo holding my Diploma! I didn't think it mattered. It was my party that I was cancelling, not his. It didn't matter. He died about a year after, and I do regret not having giving him that pleasure. Now I think, it was his party what I cancelled. It was him celebrating that I made it what I rejected. Given the chance, I would do differently.

I am not telling you what to do. I am sharing my experience. Do what you feel is right.
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Joinedup
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The photos and staged hat throwing were chargeable extras at mine. I went to my ceremony but I couldn't be bothered with the additional rip-offs either.

might as well give your parents a nice day out and mark the end of a chapter of your life with an event rather than just letting it fizzle out.
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Quin87
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I didn't attend my graduation because I was in hospital. I got the option of attending another graduation ceremony at the uni though, but I decided not to. I don't regret it at all, however my mum is sad she doesn't have a photo of me graduating.

I'm in the midst of applying to go back to uni and if I do, I'll go to my graduation. As someone else has said, it will give your mum a nice day out and I think after some time has passed you'll appreciate those graduation photos - even if they're just taken by your family and not expensive uni ones


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ChelseyElla
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I was tempted to not go to my graduation (graduating in July) but I've now decided I will be going as it's a good opportunity to spend a nice day with my friends and family.

Don't feel pressured in to going though, if you don't want to, then don't. Just make sure you won't regret it afterwards.
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gemmam
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Although I haven't had a bad experience at uni, I'm not going to mine. I've never been that fussed about it even when I started my degree so I doubt I'd regret it and it's £70 just to hire the cap and gown; I'm hopefully moving later in the year so I'd rather save the money for that. Luckily my mother isn't too bothered (my brother didn't attend his either and has no regrets) but when I have mentioned to people that I'm not going I've had "You can't do that! You're only going to graduate once, you'll regret it!".
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Student045
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I'm not going to mine! I guess as a 'mature student' it is different for me. The idea of a ceremony leaves me cold and has no meaning to me. It's just something others expect me to go to. I celebrated in other ways with my family, allowing us to spend quality time together, rather than surrounded by others who in the main, I will not see again through choice. Of course, I'll keep in touch with a few also through choice. I'm doing a masters next year and have no intention of going to the graduation ceremony for that either! It's more about making personal, meaningful celebratory memories with those I want to than attending a general group event which has little relevance to me or my loved ones.
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lyrical_lie
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Like other people are saying it's mainly for the family members, I knew my mum and gran are really excited. Plus I get a yummy lunch out of it
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bluemax
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I'm in my final year of uni. For the past 4 years I had been really really adamant that I there is no freaking waythat I will be going to my graduation. I don't have a lot of good memories or friends either.

However, I recently attended my sister's graduation and it was that a part of me wanted that. I now think that I in 10 years time I will probably want to give a glimpse to my graduation picture.

I changed this year in a lot of aspects. As someone else said here, do what you're comfortable with, was just sharing my experience
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gemmam
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(Original post by Student045)
I'm not going to mine! I guess as a 'mature student' it is different for me. The idea of a ceremony leaves me cold and has no meaning to me. It's just something others expect me to go to. I celebrated in other ways with my family, allowing us to spend quality time together, rather than surrounded by others who in the main, I will not see again through choice. Of course, I'll keep in touch with a few also through choice. I'm doing a masters next year and have no intention of going to the graduation ceremony for that either! It's more about making personal, meaningful celebratory memories with those I want to than attending a general group event which has little relevance to me or my loved ones.
I'm a mature student too and I feel the same way. I just view it as a waste of money really.

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MPE-J
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I'm 37 and left uni in 2000.
I came across this thread by a keyword search for something else but couldn't help but read it.
You pretty much describe my feelings about uni.
I skipped my graduation and don't regret it for a moment. I hated uni and to pay money to pretend I hadn't and have a load of people who made me feel worthless hand me a scrap of paper and smile through gritted teeth felt pointless.
If your parents actually care about your feelings they'll understand, if they just want to go to a fancy event and clap at someone then let them hire an actor.
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Duncan2012
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I've graduated 3 times and been to each ceremony. Yes, you do get ripped off with hiring gowns and photography, but it's only one day out of many and it lets close family get dressed up and share in your achievement while maybe visiting a city they don't often get to. Getting a good picture for your wall is nice, too. I understand that not everyone can be fussed with the day, and people might have to graduate 'in absentia' if they're working or overseas, but for me I've really enjoyed the formalities of the days.
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MPE-J
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I'm 37 and left uni in 2000.
I came across this thread by a keyword search for something else but couldn't help but read it.
You pretty much describe my feelings about uni.
I skipped my graduation and don't regret it for a moment. I hated uni and to pay money to pretend I hadn't and have a load of people who made me feel worthless hand me a scrap of paper and smile through gritted teeth felt pointless.
If your parents actually care about your feelings they'll understand, if they just want to go to a fancy event and clap at someone then let them hire an actor.
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gemmam
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(Original post by MPE-J)
I'm 37 and left uni in 2000.
I came across this thread by a keyword search for something else but couldn't help but read it.
You pretty much describe my feelings about uni.
I skipped my graduation and don't regret it for a moment. I hated uni and to pay money to pretend I hadn't and have a load of people who made me feel worthless hand me a scrap of paper and smile through gritted teeth felt pointless.
If your parents actually care about your feelings they'll understand, if they just want to go to a fancy event and clap at someone then let them hire an actor.
Two years on I don't regret skipping mine either despite various people telling me that I would. I also remember people trying to gulit me into going by telling me that I "owed" it to my mother despite me being 29 at the time and hadn't received any financial help from her during my degree and several years prior to starting it. I think she was actually relieved not to be expected to go and sit through it (at my sister's graduation she and my father walked out after her name was called as they found it boring). I celebrated by having a few drinks with my mother and sister the night of results day and going for a meal with my boyfriend the following weekend instead.

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anzacbiscuit
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I am going through the same thought process of not attending graduation. As a mature student, I have found the last three years have dragged on and i have missed many moments due to study .Everyone says go to it and that I will regret it if I don't.Seriously I don't care the outlay for the cap and gown,the mutual back rubbing and well-done spiel I can do with out.I would rather be doing something that won't make me feel uncomfortable and false.My big moments in life are the birth of my children nothing replaces that.
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JustGeorgeJ
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(Original post by Bassetts)
I haven't enjoyed university and when it comes to graduating in June, I don't want to attend my graduation ceremony. All the collecting my graduation certificate, dressing in a gown and hat, posing for photos, throwing your hat in the air in that stupid photo. Everything about it sickens me and I can't bear to attend. I want to graduate quietly, leave and not attend these farty ceremonies because frankly, university has not been an enjoyable experience in my life and I will be glad to see the back of it.

Is this a bad thing? Will I look back and regret this because I have no photos to look back on the memories? I don't see the point in attending if I never enjoyed university in the first place.
Hello ,

At the end of the day, it's up to you. No one is going to make you attend your graduation and if you haven't enjoy university, why attend the ceremony to celebrate your time there?

Just do as you said, leave quietly and accept you've had your time there. People use their graduations as a celebration of their time there, the memories and celebration of all the hard work - if that's not what you want, don't go.

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