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Having a problem with your age
I turn 21 soon and Im not sure if everyone gets this problem but I keep panicking and feeling really down everytime I think of it. My aunt keeps going on about how you become a full adult at 21, yet shes been saying that im an adult since 17. Im still living with parents and people are going to think that this is pathetic at 21,also Ive never even had a proper bf lol not even lost my virginity.
Like my mum said even people aged 18 can run rings round me, Im not saying I act like a kid but I look about 15 or so people say. I don't think I can keep up with whats expected of people at my age, did others feel like this or not
Like my mum said even people aged 18 can run rings round me, Im not saying I act like a kid but I look about 15 or so people say. I don't think I can keep up with whats expected of people at my age, did others feel like this or notScroll to see replies
Reply 2
Pretty much. I'm 18 in a couple of months and I don't feel a day older than 15. Thing is, you realise that while adults once looked indestructible and self-confident and competent at anything they wished to profess, they were really just ugly, old 16-year-olds. Nothing is "expected of" you... those who expect things of you aren't you. You're an adult. Live life how you want to. 
You're an adult. Live life how you want to. Reply 3
Anonymous
even people aged 18 can run rings round me
Everyone has this problem. There is no universal code of conduct that everyone must adhere to at certain ages. You cannot change your age so why worry what other people think of you? Pushy family members are difficult to ignore, I know.
But I do know what you mean. Hell, I've seen 13 year olds with better socal skills than me and I'm 23! And when I see succesful actresses who are younger than me I feel quit despondant, but still, everyone's life has a different set of circumstances and events. You can't possibly expect everyone of your age to have had a similar life - don't feel bad about it, your family have no right to make you feel inferior.
Reply 4
Sithius
Do you have a job?
Have you ever lived alone?
Do you know many people?
Have you ever lived alone?
Do you know many people?
Yea but im about to start a 4 year course at uni (while living at home) so will be at least 25 before having a proper job (see im late at starting uni lol!) Ive never lived alone and don't know that many people, just a few friends.
Reply 5
generalebriety
Pretty much. I'm 18 in a couple of months and I don't feel a day older than 15. Thing is, you realise that while adults once looked indestructible and self-confident and competent at anything they wished to profess, they were really just ugly, old 16-year-olds. Nothing is "expected of" you... those who expect things of you aren't you. You're an adult. Live life how you want to.
You're an adult. Live life how you want to. Your right, though my family keep saying things like 'at 19 I was living on my own, by 25 had my own children etc' so I can imagine them looking quite mature at 21.
Reply 7
Dont worry about it im still living at home when i am not at uni and i am 22. Everybody is different in terms of how they age and how comfortable they are in social situations. I have a friend who is 18 and she is far more comfortable in social situations than i could really ever hope to be.
You should never make yourself act in a way just to please other people or to try to live up to their expectations of what you should be like at 21, in the end you will only make yourself unhappy. Just be yourself after all what would the world be like if we were all the same!
You should never make yourself act in a way just to please other people or to try to live up to their expectations of what you should be like at 21, in the end you will only make yourself unhappy. Just be yourself after all what would the world be like if we were all the same!
Reply 8
black_mamba
Everyone has this problem. There is no universal code of conduct that everyone must adhere to at certain ages. You cannot change your age so why worry what other people think of you? Pushy family members are difficult to ignore, I know.
But I do know what you mean. Hell, I've seen 13 year olds with better socal skills than me and I'm 23! And when I see succesful actresses who are younger than me I feel quit despondant, but still, everyone's life has a different set of circumstances and events. You can't possibly expect everyone of your age to have had a similar life - don't feel bad about it, your family have no right to make you feel inferior.
But I do know what you mean. Hell, I've seen 13 year olds with better socal skills than me and I'm 23! And when I see succesful actresses who are younger than me I feel quit despondant, but still, everyone's life has a different set of circumstances and events. You can't possibly expect everyone of your age to have had a similar life - don't feel bad about it, your family have no right to make you feel inferior.
Yeah I get that when I see famous sports people who are younger, Im there trying to be good at my sport and they are famous at 17, if my family are watching they rarely fail to point it out too
Reply 9
i keep forgetting that i'm 20.
it's been over 2 months since my birthday, yet i still think i'm 19 sometimes.
it's been over 2 months since my birthday, yet i still think i'm 19 sometimes.
Reply 11
yeh im 19 n time seems to have stopped wen i was 15 as well..
it feels like i av dun nth over the years...
it feels like i av dun nth over the years...
Living with your parents is kind of tricky. I mean, it's nothing to be ashamed of: I'm 22 and I'm still living with my parents - I moved back in after uni so I could do my MA. And I know a lot of people who've done the same, or simply moved back in in while they find their feet.
But I do think it's hard to be your own person, and to feel remotely adult, while living with your parents. I find myself regressing to being like a stroppy 14 year old. And, personally, I find it near impossible to have a relationship while living with my parents; the two things are just not compatible, at least not at this age. Not because of sex or anything like that, just because I don't want my parents knowing every detail, and because I don't feel independent enough to be in a relationship while I'm living at home full-time.
You might find that once you start uni you feel more confident and like your own person. I think the important thing is just to do things at your own pace.
But I do think it's hard to be your own person, and to feel remotely adult, while living with your parents. I find myself regressing to being like a stroppy 14 year old. And, personally, I find it near impossible to have a relationship while living with my parents; the two things are just not compatible, at least not at this age. Not because of sex or anything like that, just because I don't want my parents knowing every detail, and because I don't feel independent enough to be in a relationship while I'm living at home full-time.
You might find that once you start uni you feel more confident and like your own person. I think the important thing is just to do things at your own pace.
Reply 14
maybe you should go out and try something different before the big 21. go on holiday alone or with a mate but try and do something that will force you to take responsibilty, be and adult and think for yourself. you just need to be made to do it and then you wont worry. try and meet someone as well.
Reply 16
Tbh I don't think having a child young is either an achievement or anyting to be put off by, its just a personal choice.
Reply 17
Riddy
Tbh I don't think having a child young is either an achievement or anyting to be put off by, its just a personal choice.
Exactly. But this idea strikes a chord with me. The thought of a family member saying 'back in my day I had 50 kids by your age' is not really the sort of encouragement you want to hear. My partner's bimbo stepmum used to try and encourage my boyfriend to sleep around, because in her words, she did it at his age therefore it would 'do him good'. What sort of argument is that? It's rude, arrogant and offensive, just like the OP's family telling her to 'grow up' for no discernable reason.
Reply 19
ur only guna feel worse if u pressure urself to do stuff before ur ready. go at ur own pace and dont forget, probably half the stuff people tell u they r doing or have done is rubbish
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